Scare of rejection.
Well it’s been a while since I’ve dated or have like an actual relationship. And now all of a sudden I’m scare I’m gone get rejected because of Diabetes. It’s pretty hard for me to open up and trust people so I don’t even know when to bring the diabetes “thing” up. I’m scare guys in general are gone think that I’m a burden or have those common myths about diabetes like that I got it because I was not healthy or had too much sugar. When I go out on a date from time to time I unplug my pump so it’s not visible since around where I live no one since to knows what an insulin pump is and everyone asks me what it is. I really want to meet people and have a social life but I think my fears are stronger than what I want. It’s pretty scary. I really don’t know how to get over it and how to act to this.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by NancyR on -
Lalita - I remember those feelings, a long long time ago. Be proud of who you are, the person inside and outside. Diabetes or not, your are a genuine person deserving of a good, happy life. If having diabetes is the cause of rejection, then its likely the best thing to happen. Oh, your Insulin pump - here's my favorite response: "Thats my e-pancreas, because the internal one quit on me years ago. This one has a better warranty and makes life so much better" (with a big proud smile). You have a great life ahead, follow your dreams, and the diabetes will fit into a niche along the way!!
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Permalink Reply by Anonymous Jim on -
Your a beautiful young lady. If someone was to reject you because of diabetes or your pump they most likely aren't worth it. Be proud of yourself and who you are.
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Permalink Reply by She Ra on -
Well, if your diabetes bothers someone then they don't deserve you. There are lots of people out there, lots to choose from. I have not run into anybody yet who has been bothered by my injections or finger poking. One boss doesn't like needles so I steer clear of him when I need to inject, but he just doesn't like needles in general, it has nothing to do with the diabetes.
People are just uneducated is all, they don't understand how it works or why we have it. My mom still asks me if I need a piece of candy, no matter what, the solution is candy LOL
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Permalink Reply by Doris D on -
OMG how I remember those feelings years back. Honey the way I look at it...............if he can't accept you for who you are then he don't deserve yo. As far as I'm concerned he don't know what he missed. CHIN UP and don't let ppl get the better of you!
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Permalink Reply by Ira on -
Lalita: As a male diabetic I used to have those concerns when I went out with girls but I understood one thing. God choose for me to be a diabetic because he knew I could handle it and this is who I am. Those thoughts that you have will only affect men that are ignorant and don't understand our condition. Keep you spirits up and be proud of who you are. I'm sure you will find someone who cares for you on the inside not for what you wear on the outside. Good Luck...
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Permalink Reply by Rye on -
I have been there...Its hard to determine if and when to tell someone. Its hard to let your "flaw" show be known....But Laltia your looking at it all wrong....Here is what got me passed it. If I wasnt seeing a future with someone then I dont even bother, I may bring it up casually and move on. I see no point in giving it energy to the guy with an expiration date, lol...It is only a big deal if you make it one...If it is someone I feel does not have a expiration date showing then I will take the time and gradually explain it to him. Not all at once but just more in detail. If he suddenly stops calling or get too busy then he is not the man I need in my life. Diabetes is a way to get pass all the losers that come your way! See only the one who will get freaked out but does not leave and wants to know more is the keeper. Everyone freaks out at first, you cant really avoid that so just dont write everyone off who does give them a chance to prove they can handle you. Its too many misconceptioins out there. But your the woman who holds all the cards and any man will be lucky to take care of you!!!
So walk with your head held high because diabetes is not a weakness, its a strength and its a part of what makes you that much more special ;-)
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Permalink Reply by NancyR on
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Lalita - I just saw this posted on a FaceBook diabetes site..."When you know yourself you are empowered. When you accept yourself you are invincible." :) - so true!
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Permalink Reply by Lalita on -
Thank you so much for all the wonderful comments. I guess that now that I'm close to turning 20 I desire good people in my life that won't hurt me and specially someone that I can have a healthy relationship with. I've come to the idea that a lot of guys do get intimidated when I tell them I have diabetes, and it sucks because I always feel like the last girl being picked.
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Permalink Reply by Rye on
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Well thats where you need to start looking at it differently....You are the one doing the picking!!!!....
I was diagnosed in my early twenties I was in college, partying when it tapped me on my shoulder and its hard...It was hard for me to be open about it at first and yes men are going to get intimidated, really about anything...lol...but I have dated some really good ones who took the time to learn, sneak in good food while i was in the hospital. Going with me to my endo visits. Making sure I am testing and exercising. Never leaving my side when I was in the ICU for 3 days and taking care of me after....And sometimes like I said they dont always know how they will deal until they get to know you better, but the key into finding out is how many questions they ask. If a guy seems interested in learning about you and diabetes he will ask....If you find yourself around someone who is cool as long as you dont talk about it then he is NOT the one....And if anyone tries to make you feel different in a bad way just know they are hating because they dont have anything to make them stand out...
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Permalink Reply by Lalita on
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Thank you Rye your advise makes me smile and makes me feel better since I have no one to talk to about things like this.
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Permalink Reply by joeynicole on -
It's also for your own safety that you tell people... You want people on your team who can help you out, and knowing about your diabetes is part of that. I lived in a sorority in college and made sure everyone I lived with knew about my type 1, just in case anything happened. When dating, it wasn't the first thing I told a guy (I, too, didn't want to be "defined" by my diabetes), but if I went out with him a 2nd time I would make sure he knew. Mainly looking out for myself. I wore a pump for almost two years, and most people though it was pretty cool, or at least they were nice to say so :)
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