I am not even sure what I can get out of this, but I just felt like I needed to get it off my chest. Last time I was honest on here my ex wife used it in court to say I shouldn't be able to see my kids......but I digress. I feel like crap everyday now and I'm losing my desire to keep up with it all. I need to get better control but I feel like even after 22 years with this damned disease I'm all of the place and I don't even know where to start. Feels like I've said I'll start something "tomorrow" for the last 10 years! I should probably get the vitrectomy because I can barely look at my computer all day without a splitting headache. I'm sore as hell every week when I fly to and from work, I have NO energy, I probably take way too many med.s but don't know how to isolate the issues.....what does one do when they feel they have reached their limit in life?
Can anyone give me or point me to a sample daily itinerary for a "good" diabetic? I travel every Monday thru Friday and I'm home from Friday night thru 5am on Monday mornings. I live out a hotel and I can have a fridge or a gym in the hotel and money isn't the issue. I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO IMPROVE THINGS AND LIVE BETTER. I understand the mechanics of diabetes very well, I understand the impact of basal rates and bolus ratios and correction boluses but I don't get the practical application in my life! Anyone who can help or just give me some words to keep me from self pity and depression right now would really be my hero......Thanks
Wow, awesome post Jeff! Good advice for everyone.
Thanks Melitta. I appreciate the kind words.
Oh wow Jeff, that is one amazing post, thank you. I think I'll print it out too, it applies to us all, and so well said!
i know this isnt the best advice but don't stress so much. there is no way you can be a perfct diabetic but there are ways to feel better.... ik you fly but always make sure you have your meter, extra teststrips, extara sites or needle and something fo if you go low. check urself atleast 8 times a day and just monitor your blood sugars
I know how you're feeling. I've had diabetes 13 years now (I can't believe it's been that long!) The way i'm feeling now, I feel like I'm falling apart on the inside. I don't look after myself the way I should, although I'm much better now than I was, but I feel like I CAN'T. not enough energy, support, information. so I try my best. But I slip up, with the odd bit of sugary food and then spend the rest of the day feeling bad and worrying about what I'm doing to myself.
I think it's a huge problem for people like us who have had diabetes for a long time, we forget how to deal with it!
The only advice I can give is to keep trying. Try and excersise, like a bike ride or a walk. Good for the body and brain. Thats what I do when I'm feeling particularly bad. i almost always feel just a little better.
Hope that helps...sorry if it doesn't. Just know you're not alone!
As others have said, life can be very overwhelming even without diabetes, and the extra stress can feel like a mountain sometimes. As hard as it is, and I do recognize you have very serious problems, one just needs to take a deep breath and try to float out of this stress, at least as best we can. Otherwise, things can only get worse.
Keep sharing with us, and know that you have the TuDiabetes community here for support.
When I got my head on straight about this D thing, I had to make a number of changes. It seems like it's an impossible task. An immediate adoption of every correct behavior is just not likely. That is way too disruptive. The motivation is hard to come by and the constant attention can get to you. Even the most motivated get sick and tired of it.
On the road as much as you are is also a complicating factor. Treatment regimens these days are much more flexible than they used to be. That's a great help in easing your changes. You can't be expected to be a savvy grocery shopper if you aren't in the practice. So don't try to be perfect. When confronted with a choice, three our of four times, go for the healthier route or alternative. If you can break away from a task for 10 or 15 minutes, take a walk.
Also, forgive yourself for being tired. Managing diabetes is a full-time job on its own and it requires more attention than the average Joe has to devote to keeping the engine running. Trying to duplicate a pancreas is no easy task. How predictable is your schedule while you are working M-F away from home? You do have to establish a behavior that is beneficial. Once I got the whole idea of the I:C ratio and correction factors and the like, it took a while to be smart about using them. I've been a diabetic for 34 years and I feel like I'm just now getting pretty good at this. That being said, I still end up with unexpected lows or go through periods where I'm going to coast at 189 and it seems to be bullet proof. Once it's a habit, you add or change another behavior.
None of us is perfect at this. I've found that experience and attention have made things easier. You will get to a point where you will recognize the patterns and your experience will give you a clue as to how to work around it.
I had to learn to stop hating it. What I thought was acceptance was mostly petulance. It took me a long time to step up to the plate and actually listen when they told me that my treatment plan and care was primarily self-directed. The more ownership I took of my condition, the easier it was to work with. I was feeling terrible, I was depressed and I was having significant lows that were completely screwing with my head. Getting on the bus isn't going to make some of the bumps go away. My first month with my pump I ended up having a visit from the EMTs and a short ride to the ER.
Once you are motivated and start to see the gentle improvements, each of these victories will build on the last and make staying on track a lot more pleasant. There's a lot to learn about Diabetes from a day-to-day, practical application sort of way to daily life. Also recognize that sometimes, you can do the same thing the same way two days in a row and have quite a variance in your result. When it's good, pat yourself on the back. When it's not in the sweet spot, learn what you can from the experience and forgive yourself. You'll do better next time.
And the A1C may seem like it's your permanent record, but that number is only applicable until your next visit. You're only human and the only thing that anyone can ask is that you do the best you can without throwing in the towel too many times. This is a good place to vent -- we TOTALLY get it. More than one of us has been there. And, hopefully, no one in this realm will feel it necessary to judge. Your darling children will give you plenty of motivation.
And don't hesitate to reach out to anyone if you just want to rant.