I am not even sure what I can get out of this, but I just felt like I needed to get it off my chest. Last time I was honest on here my ex wife used it in court to say I shouldn't be able to see my kids......but I digress. I feel like crap everyday now and I'm losing my desire to keep up with it all. I need to get better control but I feel like even after 22 years with this damned disease I'm all of the place and I don't even know where to start. Feels like I've said I'll start something "tomorrow" for the last 10 years! I should probably get the vitrectomy because I can barely look at my computer all day without a splitting headache. I'm sore as hell every week when I fly to and from work, I have NO energy, I probably take way too many med.s but don't know how to isolate the issues.....what does one do when they feel they have reached their limit in life?
Can anyone give me or point me to a sample daily itinerary for a "good" diabetic? I travel every Monday thru Friday and I'm home from Friday night thru 5am on Monday mornings. I live out a hotel and I can have a fridge or a gym in the hotel and money isn't the issue. I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO IMPROVE THINGS AND LIVE BETTER. I understand the mechanics of diabetes very well, I understand the impact of basal rates and bolus ratios and correction boluses but I don't get the practical application in my life! Anyone who can help or just give me some words to keep me from self pity and depression right now would really be my hero......Thanks
Todd, it's all been said, and well, so... I feel for ya!
You said you don't know what to pack for lunches. Do you want suggestions for figuring it out? Do you know how to count carbs?
I absolutely want suggestions! I would normally say I know how to count carbs, but I think I'm realizing that I only know how to read the label and/or pull up an app on my phone and add. When I don't have it somewhere, my guesses are RARELY even close. Also, because (I believe) my basal rates are off, I tend to make my own slight adjustments to the bolus based on a guess from the time of day and what I expect.....make sense?
Yup, makes perfect sense. So, you have 2 things to do. Adjust your basal rates (when you're ready) and figure out some lunch ideas. I'm going to start another thread for lunch ideas cause it'll load this one up!
I agree w/ the other ideas about what to do but one thing that's helped me a lot is to have hobbies? Even when the hobby was rock music and partying all the time, it was incentive to keep my BG in line? Tuning guitars w/ lows is almost impossible for me as the beat tones kind of echo.
These days, I've switched to exercising but the goal of "I'm going to run today" (which started as walking, back in 2006...) is a big incentive to keep my BG pretty much in line during the afternoon. This leads to "well, I could have a bacon cheeseburger, but 1/2 a peanut butter sandwich ends up smoother..." and one thing sort of leads to another, kind of makes myself a big hobby? It's sort of selfish. I am not a huge fan of running in hotel gyms as opposed to outside but, a lot of times, hotels are in crappy spots for running so you can be stuck?
Todd, glad you reached out to everyone, takes courage and everyone benefits from what your feeling and the suggestions and posts that followed are a hugh benefit to everyone. Planning, I have found is the key for me, otherwise I just give up on that day and feel like crap at the end.
I hope you will find your way again, and wish you the best of luck.
thanks Clouder, kind words ALWAYS help ;)
For the last 16 years, I have travelled a lot in my job--sometimes a few days, sometimes a few weeks. Here are some of the things I have found:
I try to stay at a hotel that serves a free or inexpensive breakfast. I eat very little in the morning, so this allows me to make better food choices.
I have particular chain restaurants that, even though they are not my favorites, are safe, healthy places to eat and I can judge my food accurately. If used carefully, the salad bar at Ruby Tuesday, when careful choices are made, and an appetizer works well.
If you will be somewhere for a week, hit the grocery store. Most hotel rooms now have a frig, but you can request one--using diabetes as the reason. Buy food you know you can tolerate well. Staying away from restaurants can actually help, if you can do that.
When traveling, try to get a good nights sleep. That will help a lot--traveling can be exhausting, even if you are NOT working!
I also had really good results from a psychologist who treats people with chronic illness. I was in real burn out and she was a huge help. Just talking about it helps.
I went through exactly what are a dealing with about 12 years ago. It is very hard to make the changes. I just got really scared and realized I HAD to change.
I travel a lot too and here are the things I do to help me stay on track: I use an app on my phone that gives me a great carb count. I like myfitnesspal and glucose buddy because they are free and the my fitness pal even has a scanner for labels, but there are tons of them out there you just have to try them and pick one you like. I also pick restaurants that I know I get a good carb count from (think chain food). If you are stuck in a meeting and they order in food then go with what you know. (sandwiches, salads, etc.)
I also request a fridge and stock up on fruits and veggies when I check in and I always take a snack with me to meetings and for the airports (an apple or a couple of protein bars). I only stay at hotels that have a gym and I use it. The important thing to remember is that once you get into a routine things work out better. Yes, you will still have highs and lows but sticking to a regime really helps cut down on those days. When you don't take of yourself, you will feel bad. Lastly, carry a picture of your kids around and look at it everyday and tell them "I will stay healthy for you." It sounds hokey I know, but that what works for me. Good Luck.
As I went through a similar experience, here is what worked for me.
1. Finding a group to stick to and talk with. I don't know any T1D personally, but i've met some great people online here.
2. Opening up about what you're feeling and going through. Great release and it may seem childish, but we all have those days when it seems no matter what we do things suck! :-)
3. Prioritize. I was fed up with not working things out when it came to my diabetes so I started to. I went in to my endo and they said great, now that you've got this cool device (had just got a CGM) you're really taking charge. My response was, "no, it's not the device. It's just time for me to take care of me." Seems like you're at that point also.
4. be willing to say you don't know and will work it out. This was crucial cause while I got on sites and hard how great everyone was doing on keeping their numbers in check, I was feelin like crap. but I realized one day that as I read a post, it was from someone who normally did fantastic with their numbers. It was then I realized that we are all in the same boat. Some of us have it together and some of us don't but all of us have this issue that we struggle with daily. That's what it is, a daily struggle. Once I realized that, it was easier to say, no matter what my numbers, I'm going to do it. And I've been doing it since. Sometimes like today, my numbers are still crappy. Other days they are great. But the point is, you keep on chugging and you keep doing it. Because the alternative isn't an alternative I want to have as an option for my future.
5. Start testing at least 4 times a day. Yeah, even with the CGM. I test more than that when numbers really suck. But at least that many times. It's likely if you aren't testing then your CGM is off and so the numbers will be way out of whack. 4 times a day helped get the two, my meter and my Dex back in better sync.
6. Start again if you mess up. No one is keeping count whether you stay on things or not. No one that is, but you. In the end, you do it for yourself to stay alive, to keep healthy, to keep limbs, and all the negative no one likes to talk about. But even today, there are people who aren't taking care of their diabetes or worse, don't know they have it and fall to the many effects of this on a person's body.
7. Keep doing it. Sounds like you work hard. Do it with your health too.
8. Don't give up on yourself. We are all in the same boat you are, We all have the major downs and the great highs of what this brings emotionally and physically. Start doing these things and you'll feel better on both the emotional and the physical aspect of your persona.
9. Figure out why you've been denying yourself for so long. For me, there were many emotional issues that I needed to deal with to understand why I had given up on myself. I wasn't testing, I wasn't eating right, I wasn't taken my insulin, I wasn't caring about myself at all. As cliche as it may sound, I realized that a childhood incident helped put me in an emotional box and that I wasn't caring for myself cause I felt like I didn't matter to anyone. I came to realize that I included myself in that group. that sucked, but realizing it helped me figure out that that's not who I wanted to be. It's not what made me happy and I deserved to treat myself better. Anyway, sorry for the personal sob story, but I hope it just helps illustrate that something that really kept me from caring for my diabetes was my own self worth. I hope that's not an issue for you, but perhaps there is something that keeps you from taking care of yourself as you should?
10. Hang on. It's going to be a crazy ride one way or another. Lots of emotional ups and downs. Why not grab it by the horns and enjoy the ride instead of letting it take you wherever it will.
Sorry for the long one. I know lots of folks have given you better answers. This is just one guys thoughts.
Hope you can get back on the horse and stay on it. But whether you do or don't, we will still listen. I've found that to be true on a very personal level of the folks that I have met on this site. Hope I can be one of those for someone else.
Thanks for taking the time to send that to me. That's some great advice! I will keep that to reread when times are tough. Cheers!