Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Maleri on October 19, 2009 at 4:08pm

Oh I should note also, that I have a birth plan that never seems to get any attention. I feel like my parental rights and opinions go right out the door cuz I'm diabetic. I also always have like 20 people in my room. Is that normal, cuz I hate it. I feel like I'm some freak on display. I am not sure I can go through with having the baby in the hospital, I'm a wreck cuz they make me feel so out of control. How can I make them understand that they are making me a nervous wreck and causing me anxiety attacks over the way they are handling things?

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Permalink Reply by Gerri on October 19, 2009 at 8:24pm

Oh Maleri, what you went through! Am infuriated reading it.

Have you discussed this with your endo & obstetrician?

Afraid I don't have children to offer firsthand advice, but there are several things you could do to have your wishes respected. Make an appointment to speak with the hospital administrator. Before your meeting get the hospital's statement of patient rights.

Explain to him/her what you experienced before & be firm that this not happen again. Give the hospital administrator a written list that clearly states your expectations & wishes. State what you want & don't want regarding your care & your baby's care. If you can get a letter from your endo to take with you, that would help. Would also be helpful if your husband goes with you to this meeting so you have a witness. If your husband can't go, have a friend accompany you.

Nicely tell the hospital administrator that if you & your child are subjected again to the treatment you received before, you will file a lawsuit.

When you go to the hospital to deliver, take a copy of your letter to the hospital administrator & your endo's letter with you. Tell the nurses & doctors you've already met with the hospital administrator. If your needs aren't met, demand to speak with the hospital administrator immediately.

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Permalink Reply by Dori S on October 19, 2009 at 8:45pm

I was not diagnosed when I had my children BUT as a nurse I can tell you that if/when something like this happens you need to report it to your doctor (even if that means threatening his answering service), the hospital administration, and the state regulating board. There is no way these nurses should have treated you and your children like this. No, you should have your Dr visit when he makes rounds, the pediatrician may make rounds and come see you, your nurse should be rounding, and you should have a tech (aide) to assist you. Otherwise the only people in your room should be those you invite in. Now, if you are in a teaching facility that may mean you might have resident's making rounds with your Dr or student nurses but both of these should be cleared by the staff with you prior tpo them coming into your room and assisting with your care. They are well aware that patient's have rights, enforce yours. If all of your other children were born at the same hospital I would switch hospitals, during the tour I would bring up these very concerns and let the hospital know that your plan is this and that and you want to room in with the baby. If your OB does not go to a different hospital then switch OB's and tell him why. He either does not realize how his patients are being treated, does not realize that if there is a reason for this behavior it was never explained to you, or he just does not care. You also have the right to request a different nurse at any time if you feel uncomfortable or feel the nurse is not looking out for your best interests (or any other reason).

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Permalink Reply by Kristin on October 19, 2009 at 10:49pm

Maleri, I am so sorry to hear about these experiences. You may want to also post your question in the Oh Baby! group (click here), as there may be many there who can also give you advice.

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Permalink Reply by Kat on October 20, 2009 at 5:05am

Hi Maleri,
that is a horrible story. You should definitely go to another hospital (assuming that is an option) and talk about these things with the doctors there before you give birth. It is not okay to treat a new mother like that, but it sounds like they were genuinely afraid your daughter might get low blood sugar. This can happen when the mother has higher blood sugar than normal during the later stages of the pregnancy. The child has a functioning pancreas that can compensate for the mothers high blood sugar by increasing production. But after birth the child is separated from the mothers blood supply and the extra sugar is gone, but the pancreas is still in overdrive. So the child can go low and needs a bit of time to adjust. But why they didn't just monitor her blood sugar to see if that was happening, instead of just force feeding her without any explanation is beyond me. I really hope everything goes well this time.
Kat

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Permalink Reply by Maleri on October 20, 2009 at 3:23pm

Thank you all so much for your helpful advice and concern. It's been something that has just nearly brought me to tears everytime I think about it. It's nice to have some support. I am seriously thinking about changing hospitals. I just need to find one that I am ok with. Thank you all again so much.

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Permalink Reply by Lizzy's Mom on October 21, 2009 at 10:23pm

As a breastfeeding mom who's given birth seven times, I read your post and went Grrrrr . . . .

Lots have given you good advice about having your reasonable expectations laid out ahead of time with your docs and the hospital . . .

HOWEVER - I strongly suggest that you have an advocate, someone who can speak on your behalf when your having to breathe through contractions, KWIM? That person (and make sure they AND a back up know EXACTLY what your expectations are) can keep a clear head and an even keel that a mom in labor may not be able to maintain.

Choose your advocate wisely. It can be your spouse, or not. A relative, or not. Make sure it's someone you trust and someone who has both a backbone and diplomacy, someone who can EFFECTIVELY state your desires. You may even look into hiring a Doula.

Two of the many descriptions of a Doula are:

Facilitates communication between the laboring woman, her partner and her clinical care providers

Perceives her role as nurturing and protecting the woman's memory of the birth experience

You can google Doula to get all sorts of info. My births were very fast (all but 2 under 2 hours), so I've not ever felt a need for a Doula, but your situation sounds like you might find having one very helpful. Do you have a diabetes team through your endo? I know there are several of the nurses at our children's hospital who are T1 and have had babies. If you could find anyone like that maybe they could steer you in the right direction for a Doula or advocate, as well as give you good, accurate info on what reasonable expectations for post-birth bonding and feeding are.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and prayers for a smooth, safe (and pleasantly memorable) birth.

Grace and peace,
Wendy

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Permalink Reply by bethgturner on August 7, 2012 at 10:26am

I wish I weren't three years late to this. That sounds so awful! Perhaps it's only because I had my babies later than yours (2009, 2010, and 2012), and hospitals have figured out that breastfeeding really is best, even for babies of diabetics, but I never had to deal with anything that horrible. I would suggest not letting them give the baby anything except a little bit of formula or sugar water by a syringe and ONLY if the baby's blood sugar is lower than 40 (which is what is normal for newborns). And they should let you try to nurse first, because colostrum does help stabilize blood sugar, even if it won't bring it up all the way!

I blog about trying to have fewer interventions in childbirth as a Type I diabetic at diabeticbirth.blogspot.com, if you're interested in reading more about my experiences.

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Permalink Reply by Maleri on August 9, 2012 at 2:23pm

I wish you were around 3 years ago too. =) My baby is now almost 3, but I have to say, I am a little gun shy to get pregnant again because of all the crap I had to go through. I really am kind of surprised how little some doctors still know about diabetes and pregnancy. It always felt like they had NO idea what they were talking about or doing. It was highly frustrating. It's good to know that there are people out there like you who DO know what they are talking about. =D Thanks for the comment. =D

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Permalink Reply by Clare on August 7, 2012 at 4:29pm

I have no idea where you had your first 2 babies, but if it were up to me, this time I would make absolutely sure I didn't have it at the same hospital that did that to you with your daughter. I am so sorry for what you went through. I had my son 22 years ago at a hospital with a very strong maternal/fetal medicine program. They encouraged me to nurse him and would not have dreamed about feeding him without my knowlege. And he was only 5 pounds 1/2 ounce at birth. We took him home at 4 1/2 pounds. You should not put up with any of the crap you did with your daughter, and I would make absolutely sure well ahead of time that it didn't. You have rights as a patient and I would be sure your ob/gyn knows what you want and that you will fight them every step of the way if they stomp on your rights. There are also "patient advocates" at every hospital if you feel you are being mistreated. Avail yourself of every possible thing and make a big stink if you or your child is being treated other than how you specifically want. Be strong in your convictions because you need to stick up not just for yourself, but for your newborn as well.

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Permalink Reply by christy on August 7, 2012 at 6:04pm

I had my son close to 17 years ago. Born C-section, we got to hold him immediately after his birth, and then they took him up to the nursery for the regular newborn stuff...monitor him a short bit, clean him up, weigh and measure him. About 30 minutes to an hour later he was back in the room with me. I fed him, ATTEMPTED to breast feed him... he fed on about an ounce to maybe 2 ounces. Never did he have tube feedings, or any other kind of glucose.

If it were me, I'd look into a differnt doctor for my prenatal care, and explore different hospitals. If there is no medical reason to be doing all of that it shouldn't have been done. Talk with your doctor, and let your wishes, wants and concerns known. Medicine is consumer driven. You are the consumer, you have choices and options.

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Permalink Reply by Maleri on August 9, 2012 at 2:28pm

Sometimes I think are advancements in technology, etc have become detrimental to us. =) I sometimes think it gets in the way of what is natural. I've told my husband that a thousand times. I just feel they get involved when they don't need to be. If it wasn't such a risk I would have all my babies at home. But I do like the doc there in case something is wrong, but I hate that they always assume there is. They were really good at making me feel like an alien. =D Thanks so much for your comment.

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