Hi Smmtc, I'm so sorry that your son and your family are having to deal with this. I was diagnosed Type 1 a little later than your son, I was 27 at the time. At that age, I viewed it as the most devastating news I had ever received in my life because it completely changed my world as I knew it. I was angry because I felt like I should be able to live my life and have fun like other young people my age and not have to worry about diet and injections and finger sticks. I was overwhelmed, angry, crushed, you name it.
Years later, looking back, I can clearly see that I was grieving and going through the stages of grief. Grieving for the life I *thought* I would have, diabetes wasn't part of that picture. Your son will get through this but he will have good days and bad until he gets to a place of acceptance.
You've gotten some great suggestions here. I wish your family the best and wish that I could offer more in the way of specific actions to take. People move through this journey with diabetes at different speeds. I'm hopeful that your son will find his peace with diabetes.
I hope your son will see that in the short-term taking insulin relieves physical sluggishness and restores mental clarity. Living life with A1C 14 doesn't feel good day in, day out. I do not accept my T1 but I feel so much better when I manage it.
I'm so sorry about your son's diagnosis at this age. A friend's son was diagnosed at 19 and he a similar reaction. Even though it was tough for my son to be diagnosed in high school at 15, at least we still had a little control and influence over him. He is at college now and just went to his first endo appointments by himself this December.
Two things helped us:
1). I think it helped that he had a role model in Toby Peterson, a NFL hockey player who has Type I Diabetes. He adopted his #17 and at least knew it was possible to play hockey at a high level with Diabetes if he kept his Blood glucose under control.
2). When my son began rebelling late in his junior year and complained about his older non technical (could not download the Omnipod #s) Certified Diabetes Educator, we switched (with the endo's permission and blessing) to a younger, just out of college CDE. His original CDE was too near my age and it was just like your Mother nagging you which I was already doing a good job at home. He likes to go his new one and actually wants to impress her with his numbers. She also has briefed him on several situations at college: drinking, exercising lows on campus and adreneline highs from competitive games and tests. He is doing well his first semester.
My son was also diagnosed with thyroid problems in the third grade.
Hang in there with him. It is a big adjustment but it will get better.
As "that kid" in high school who was always sick, always getting new diagnoses, and overall dealing with more than everyone else, I feel your son's pain. As an "adult", though, I see your perspective more than his.
What I can say to you is don't force him. As a mother, that's probably the hardest thing anyone can tell you. Teenagers rebel--it's what they do. The more you push him, the less he'll listen. In fact, if he's anything like me, the more you push him, the less he'll do what you say JUST BECAUSE he knows it upsets you. (I'm sorry--no matter how good a kid he is, pretty much all teens have done it at some point.)
With each diagnosis I received, I needed time to grieve. I distinctly remember the time between when I knew I had a food allergy and the time I was tested for it--I purposely ate nuts because I didn't want to give them up. It took me years (and three severe reactions) before I finally stopped altogether.
One day, your son will wake up and say "gee, I really don't feel well and I have the tools to do something about it. I want to live again". I can't tell you when that will happen--it might be tomorrow, it might be years--but it will happen.
I also agree with acidrock about hobbies. I play guitar, and it was my absolute refuge for everything, especially including health isuses. What other people don't understand, music does. What I can't express because it just doesn't make sense and no one wants to hear it, music is there. It sounds like your son needs an outlet/hobby to help him along and give him something to feel better for.
Lastly, an endo or CDE who has diabetes might be of some benefit. He'd have someone who can say "I get it, I know, I'm here and I understand in a way no one else does." A person like that would also be less likely to accuse him of selling insulin (who DOES that??) as well as less likely to give up on him.
I wish you lots of luck with him and I wish him lots of luck in learning to manage. It DOES get easier, it just takes a while. (((hugs)))