Ok I got to get this off my chest b/c it bothered me for 38 years now. My dad wasn't totally understanding so I got this from him when I became a diabetic......"U've runined the gene pool and all my g-kids" It sooo hurt. Honestly I think I never really forgave him for saying that. It was in 73 and life was alot different then so I got that from him. Seeing I was an only child and only g-child that hurt me soooo bad. Now I got 2 girls and 3 soon to be 4 g-kids abd yes my oldest daughter is a diabetic. Should have heard my dad when she was diagnosed..Life u know???
I was a T1 kid, and I'm a dad now, and my only advice:
When a dad gets flustered, feels there's nothing he can do, is angry at himself, or is angry at the world, or is just sad, do not be surprised when stupid and mean words come out of his mouth!
Speaking for all dads we are sorry and didn't really mean it. We just feel so much sometimes that we don't say good things.
On the Simpson's, Homer usually says something witty or at least unintentionally witty when he's frustrated. The rest of dads? Our script writers aren't so good! (My favorite Homer line: "How come I have three kids and no money? I liked it better when I had no kids and three money!")
Noe Homer is funny!! LOL! I know that feeling from rasing my own 2 kids but I hope I never said anything like that to them
This is one of those things that should NEVER be said, but I can honestly understand how thoughts like that might go through someone's head. I'd be lying if I said that I never had worries that I would be passing down "defective" jeans if I were to have kids. I played the odds though, twice, and so-far, so-good with my two boys. I don't know if your dad was uneducated, emotional, or just plain malicious, but I hope it helps you to get it off of your chest.
In that time, for a man to express fear or sadness was somewhat demasculating, so many tried to appear strong with aggressive, bullying behavior. Not that it's right and it doesn't justify what he said, but it might help explain it a little. These days, it's socially acceptable for a man to not be such a tough-guy.
I believe the best form of payback is success, and you've done rather well for yourself, in spite of diabetes and in spite of what your father said.
Thank U Scott but for some reason he made sure that I ALWAYS felt like thatin some form or the other.
I played the stakes with my 2 girls. One became a diabetic at 11 and (so far so good) my other daughter didn't and hasn't yet. One is noe almost 24 and the other one is 22.
You have made me feel better, I too have held onto the stupid remark my Dad made 37 years ago when I was 13, in the hospital and newly diagnosed. My Dad was a smart funny man but his remark was: "You know Michelle this is just like I have to wear glasses. Really WTF? really, sorry for what you went through, parents are scared, I enrolled my 3 kids in a genetic study at the University that was analyzing the propensity for developing Diabetes, I am crying typing this remembering how I felt when I got the results indicating my kids had no indication of a propensity. (Oddly, nor do they look like me - if I wasn't there you couldn't tell I'm their mother) Thanks for sharing, not sure this is how you are suppose to comment but...
Michelle really there's no way to commit to this. I just had to get it off my chest. Funny how u hold on to things like that isn'tit? I'm glad it helped u too
When I was dxed I was told by my parent not to tell anyone...it was a shameful thing back then...but I didn't listen, I told everyone. I didn't understand the disease but I didn't think I should be ashame to have it. Funny how things turn out we lived long enough to know it wasn't our fault :).
We all live and learn...