Today I realized I get very scared about lows, not waking up, acting crazy at work, being needy and dependent on family members, and losing my job and family members. Maybe that's why I haven't been testing my BG's enough! I don't want to face reality.

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Yeah, it's a shocker, isn't it? I get scared by all the same things as you, but my biggest fear is the feeling of absolute loss of control. I can try damn hard to keep my blood sugar in line, exercise, eat the right food, etc, but I don't know if I will ever have the security of control that I had before.

I also work as a nanny, and I am always scared of messing up with the kids that I work with. I tend to let my sugar run a little higher when I am working, because I am petrified of being too low with them.

But girl, you gotta check your blood sugar! This is your reality now, it's not going anywhere!

To be honest, I don't worry about any of those things. I had a scary low when I first started insulin (due to my own lack of knowledge). I live alone and I was unconscious, but my liver kicked in and I came to and was able to treat. For awhile after that I was scared of insulin. But I learned more and knowledge is power and as I got to know how to manage my diabetes, the fear went away. I haven't had a low I couldn't handle in the 2 years since.

The only thing that scares me is not being able to get my supplies. I'm retired so it would take my county going bankrupt or a major disaster so it isn't real likely, and I don't think about it much.

I do have less responsibilities and freedom that if I'm low I just can wait to go anywhere or drive until I'm ok.

One of the good things about being in your 60s (mostly it sucks..lol) is knowing that you will be ok, because you have so many times before.

Uh, isn't your country a bit in the hole Zoe? http://www.usdebtclock.org/

Although I agree that insurance/ supply issues are my main concerns. Like now, here we are in February and I'm still waiting for the first load of test strips for the year, about 4-5 weeks after I started calling about them. WTF?

I can loan you some of my freestyle lite, if you use that type, just got my first load of the year.

Thanks Karen, I have One Touch so those won't help.

I hit E-Bay when I ran out, AR, they aren't as cheap as insurance, but waaaay cheaper than the drugstore, especially if you buy ones almost expired.

Those eBay strips may have come from the "gray market".... strips that people acquired via their insurance and never used, then sold to these resellers for pennies on the dollar. (See http://kuow.org/program.php?id=25844 ). I suppose you do what you've gotta do, but it might trouble me, personally, to know how they end up marketed at those prices.

I won't support the "gray market" at all so I will be justified when I go launch Titleists through the BCBS office windows. I can schwing out of pocket but it pisses the hell off out of me. I feel like I should send them an invoice for all the stupid phone calls. They sent me the form with which to seek reimbursement for my out of pocket crap but didn't tell me where to send it. I guess they want it wrapped around a golf ball launched through their window?

I have extra OneTouch Blue strip if you want some.

I guess I don't see that as a bad thing,("everybody's looking for something") but I can understand not wanting to support it!

Yeah, it's one thing if we run out from using more, but another if we run out because a supplier doesn't have their act together!

Oh, that is a truly grim link, AR!

I'm actually a bit more worried about my county which I call a "third world county" as they are one of the poorest in California. There are county designations from urban to rural. Mine is one step beyond rural to frontier which is pretty funny, but not so funny if they declare bankruptcy.

knowing that you will be ok, because you have so many times before.:that is my philosophy , too, Zoe. I am 3 years shy of 60, but 43 years in with the "D", so I have the experience of knowing that "This too, shall pass"

You will get to that point, too, LAB.
God Bless,
Brunetta

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