Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Judith on January 11, 2013 at 2:09pm

Well Dean, I think a cure for T1 is much more likely than for T2.

I don't quite understand why you despise T2s so much. Most of us here at TuD are trying to do well. We are, as a whole, committed to improving our self-management. But in the world outside this haven of well-educated diabetics, the level of ignorance is scariy high. So we are not really finding what you say very helpful to our day to day lives. There is nothing new there. Just more of the same old self-defeating blame game that we have to put up with from non-diabetics.

You are mostly preaching to the choir. But you are doing it with such disdain and vitriol for T2s, that I believe you have some other agenda. You have closed yourself off from hearing any of the good folks here who have tried to challenge your dearly held notions. That is certainly your right. But it is sad......Blessings on us all...Judith in Portland

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Permalink Reply by Dean Phillips on January 11, 2013 at 2:18pm

Well apparently the powers here at TUD also prefer the warm fuzzy lie over the cold hard truth!! I have been advocating for personal resonsibility but keep being told I am wrong, that there is little any of you can do to change your circumstance. This site does little to help anyone, in fact over the years I that only enables them! I get that weight is a tough subject for others to hear about. Few like being told that they are overweight and should do something about it. I get it is an unpopular and uncomfortable thing! I am too old and been dealing with this for too long to sugar coat what I know to be true. I won't be annoying you anymore with my truth!! Clearly you do not want to hear it!

Dean,

Thank you for being an active participant in our community. We here on the Admin team - who have diabetes, too - appreciate that this community is full of unique perspectives and personalities, and we want to keep it that way. The larger we grow, hopefully, the more we'll grow together. We value that the community is not just a social network, but also a support group for learning and growing. 

The reason we're writing is that we've noticed some of your comments to other members in the community have a tone that’s difficult to interpret and perhaps even abrasive. Since the tone of online communication can easily be misunderstood, and since the last thing we wish to do is censor anyone dealing with this frustrating and temperamental illness, we ask that you tone down your criticism or judgment on topics such as obesity and diabetes control. This is especially important when responding to members' blogs, since those are often deeply personal and even confessional. We all know it's hard to be diabetic and we want to make sure that the community retains its spirit of openness and friendship without censoring anyone.

Quoting from the post "Values of TuDiabetes":
 "If you are unsure about whether something may be disrespectful to others, try to put yourself in the shoes of the other person and consider how you would feel if you were on the receiving end of the comments/contribution you are making."


Thanks,
TuDiabetes Administrative Team

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Permalink Reply by acidrock23 on January 11, 2013 at 3:07pm

I think if we did a poll, we'd find plenty of people who are helped by the site. I don't disagree that exercise and eating vegetables are good for you but there's *no* data that suggest that cure T2, only make the symptoms more manageable. I totally support eating healthily and exercising but I have read numerous personal stories of members here who *have* found assistance, support, cameraderie, etc. that it seems reasonable to question your assertion that obesity causes T2 because I don't believe that to be true.

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Permalink Reply by Stemwinder on January 11, 2013 at 10:53pm

Thats a good point AR. As most know I have not always been a perfect T2 but I have gotten my act together and guess what I'm still a T2 diabetic. I eat somewhat right, I exercise and my bmi is as it should be but I still strap on an infusion set every three days. Doing things the right way didn't make my T2 go away it only made it easier to live with.

You are also right that this site has helped a lot of people. It saved me from the downward spiral I was in. It didn't do it by laying blame, it did it by teaching me the right way.

And Dean you are somewhat right, a good portion of the T2's don't take responsibility for themselves, I know I didn't for a long time. You are right that you can improve you circumstances, I did. I have every right to tell every over weight T2 that they are doing things wrong but I don't because I believe support is better than blame. Laying blame is an insult to those of us that are trying

Gary

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Permalink Reply by Zoe on January 12, 2013 at 8:44am

Thank you for a word of reason and honesty, Gary. I've felt guilty that I was the one that brought up weight and Type 2 in this thread and then it all went off track to blaming.Talking about "blame" and "fault" is both medically inaccurate, but at it's worst it reminds me of the early days of the AIDS epidemic (:::shudder::::). I wish it were possible to talk about weight honestly without blame which is what I was trying to do. I've always wondered why Type 2's react so strongly to this subject and I guess this thread has shown me why.

Many on here know my story and even aside from being a LADA/Type 1 misdiagnosed as Type 2, I feel as if I was "a potential Type 2 whose body took a left turn". I was 40 pounds overweight, had high blood pressure and high cholesterol then I (obviously) had an autoimmune attack and type 1 manifested. I've confessed before that I was relieved to be type 1. Aside from the obvious connection to my eating disorder I do believe those (rather odd!) feelings were due to all this societal blame of type 2's. Using the AIDS example again it's like internalized homophobia: internalized hate and shame. I guess I should be more sensitive to that (even though it makes me sad and angry). My whole point was about the ability to correctly differentiate LADA's in diagnosis, which was really a small point compared to all that. World Wars have started over less. Lo siento amigos.

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Permalink Reply by DiabeticRadio.com on January 12, 2013 at 11:19am

I love you Zoe, thank you for opening up. I understand now. Blessings...

-Yogi

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Permalink Reply by Natalie ._c- on January 12, 2013 at 11:36am

Zoe, you've captured my feelings in a nutshell. I wasn't even as much overweight as you, but as you know, I had a lifetime of scolding and blame to overcome. For those of you who don't know, I was raised with the admonition, "Natalie, don't eat that, you'll get fat, and you'll get diabetes!" because my grandmother had it, and I was genetically built rounder than my skin-and-bones sister. I was NEVER fat as a child, but my family confused my build in comparison with that of my sister as indicating obesity. So I've struggled for many, many years with this phobia about obesity, and when I actually WAS diagnosed, it was over-the-top traumatic. And eventually led me to almost kill myself with an eating disorder. And I've had too many health professionals tell me I'm T1 for me to believe, at least intellectually, that I caused my diabetes, but emotionally, the thoughts and feelings are still there.

For a lot of T2's this constant finger-pointing inevitably leads to poor self-esteem, and that leads to a who-cares fatalistic attitude. Not all of them, of course, but enough to be significant. Another group says, I'm doing just what my doctor tells me to do, and are not even aware that their PCP is ignorant of the intricacies of T2, and they don't have the support of other opportunities such as fitness classes, or a good dietitian, because often, insurance doesn't pay for that stuff. And being older, they are often not on the internet. So, I would say that, in general, they are doing the best they can with what they know (and don't know a lot). Advocacy and support for T2's is the important goal, in my opinion!

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Permalink Reply by DiabeticRadio.com on January 12, 2013 at 11:58am

Natalie, what you've said really resinated with me. Even today, because of all that verbal scalding I got from teachers as a child from school, those self-esteem issues really do carry over in to one's adult life.. And unfortunately, when it's not "YOU" being told these negative things, it's a lot harder for the offenders to understand the impact of their words. We need to stop this, like yesterday. Starting from not beating up young girls emotionally for being overweight, as they are most often held to a higher standard as to how they should look.

-Yogi

Permalink Reply by pancreaswanted on January 11, 2013 at 3:54pm

i have found tud to be a tremendous support in dealing with my t1, from emotional support, knowing people have felt exactly the way im feeling right now, and the more practical support, for what seem to be small changes in dosing or timing or carb counting. i would be in the dark and all alone if it were not for this community. i am so grateful for all of the people on it who are always willing to offer their experiences, positive outlook, cheerleading, hand-holding and advice.

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Permalink Reply by DiabeticRadio.com on January 11, 2013 at 4:30pm

Sweet heart, the sad part is, there are literally millions of people who have the exact same mindset as Dean. We can't necessarily blame him, because it is not easy trying to discern fact from fiction, while also being open to examining real life experiences of others. Diabetes is not something we can learn overnight, by clicking on a couple of yahoo links; it takes years and years of personal soul searching. Otherwise, we are just regurgitate the same things over and over. I partially blame doctors for not encouraging their patients to read more and having more pamphlets and such. I've found more diabetic information in the pharmacy than i've seen in some endocrinologist offices.

So unfortunately, this kind of rhetoric has eventually expanded itself to our diabetic communities as well; its a lesson that tells us that our community is not immune to this kind of abuse (even from each other). I'm just beside myself as to how closed minded people can be, about a condition that is so complicated, and perplexing as diabetes.

What breaks my heart, is that i've been fighting for 3+ years dealing with individuals who have these same views. You do everything short of showing your hospital records, and they still don't get it! I can really understand now why so many diabetics keep their diabetes a secret from most. It's just too hard psychologically and emotionally to deal with this s***t all the time. However at the same time, if we don't speak up, we would never be truly respected as diabetics; whether it be our personal relationships, or insurance companies.

I hate diabetes so much now; but it's not the managing part that bothers me, it's the 24/7 verbal abuse you get from both loved ones and strangers that think they know your life better than you!! And if we can't, or don't do exactly as our friends say, then we don't want to really get rid of our diabetes.. What? Of course, now we've been put in to the category of not being motivated. :-(

The real heros are the diabetics, because at the risk of sounding egotistical, I know that their are very few people that can put up with half the stuff we deal with! So despite what people think of me or you, know that we diabetics are ALL heros. Case closed. Hopefully this forum could get back to the topic on hand.

"Whats the most annoying comment you've ever gotten about diabetes?"

-Yogi

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Permalink Reply by jrtpup on January 11, 2013 at 6:43pm

Amen!

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Permalink Reply by Natalie ._c- on January 11, 2013 at 4:25pm

Dean, if there was only ONE thing I would want you to understand about T2 diabetes, it's the fact that weight does NOT cause it. If it did, then the 33.8% of Americans who are not just overweight but obese, would have it. But they don't. Only 8% of Americans have ALL types of diabetes. Using round numbers, 33-8 = 25. That means that 25% of Americans are obese but DON'T and NEVER WILL have T2. So it's CLEARLY not causative.

I agree that we all should eat healthy and exercise to the best of our ability, but it's time to stop blaming T2's for obesity and consequently their disease. Period. The facts just don't support it. There may be other unknown causes, but they're not the ones you're ranting about.

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