Have any of you ever thought of what your life would be like right now if u had never been diagnosed with diabetes? I was giving myself a shot this morning. My cousins were watching me with a look of sadness in their eyes. Would they still look at me the same if i was never diabetic? Would i eat worse then if i wasnt diagnosed? Have you guys ever qondered these things?

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What is this world,
Oh, it was just a dream
Reality gets to me at dawn
I wanna force myself to sleep
And dream all over again
If only I could buy sleep and not the bed.

I must rise now
Many things await me
Maybe I will tell you more about my world
When next I go to sleep
Pray that am not too tired

I sometimes wonder what impact diabetes has had on my personality and stuff. I tend to be very cautious and I sometimes think this is due to growing up with diabetes and maybe I'd be more willing to take risks if I didn't have it. But then, there are other experiences I had growing up that could have contributed to cautiousness, so I don't know.

In my late teens/early college years, I thought about this, along with the 'what do I want to be when I grow up'.. Having diabetes did influence me to choose a career with a better chance of good health insurance, and to get a college degree to give me more opportunities.

But I have also pondered what might be different in my life if my parents had bought a house in a different area, and I went to different schools with different friends, teachers and neighbors. Or if I had to move to new places/schools a lot (which I did not), since I saw the impact this had on some of my friends. So when I think about living without diabetes, it's more of that kind of analogy. Things wouldn't necessarily be better or worse, just different.

When people give me the 'sad' look, it's usually their thought of the 'painful' finger sticks and shots. I try to tell them that's the 'easy' part, but of course they just don't understand.

I would definitely be eating less healthy !

As a late-Dx'd T1, I would still be clueless as to eating and exercise habits. I'd also be living as if I had all the time in the world rather than living for today; I still plan for tomorrow but don't put off saying or doing something for a more opportune time. I know my overall mental, spiritual and emotional health is better now, and can honestly say all baggage has been discarded.

Used to be people could stomp all over me for whatever reason; I take no prisoners now!

Yep wondered greatly about that but at the sametime I won't let the D get me down or stop me in anyway!

i think of these alot but i mostly think about the good things that came with getting the "D". ive become stronger and i get to go to camp. i just came back and i became friends with the 2 most awesome people. if i didnt have diabetes i wouldnt have met them

I think about it recently and wonder... but i dnt think i would be able to live not being diabeic... im so used to it now that i wouldnt be able to swap if i had a choice... i think im still the same person.. it didnt change me.. just added some hard time and brought some challenges and emotiones that i had to face

I have a wife and 3 kids, and they see me take my shots and check my bg in the kitchen or dining room or in restaurants all the time, and they never flinch or look away or look sad or anything.

Very different, generation wise, from my older relatives.

In other words, I don't think it's about you, I think it's about them.

I know I would have been a lot more involved in sports if I wasn't diabetic. My parent's only excuse for me not joining the soccer team was that I would go low and die on the field :/

and I'll agree with Jen that I've probably become more cautious than I really should be.

I would not be the person who I am now, had diabetes not become a very important part of my life. My diet would have been fast food, cookies, massive amounts of Coca Cola and Milky Ways. My personality would have been crass and coarse. My weight would probably have been a lot higher than it is. I would have gotten no exercise and an over-the-road trucker who smoked too much and enjoyed a lot of beer. As of this writing, I would have been dead for about nine and a half years.

Thankfully, I took serious the diabetes diagnosis that was given to me many years before. I stopped smoking in June of 1988. I miss it to this day. I stopped using alcohol in 1990. No reason, I just did it. I had three strokes in 2000-2003 and heart bypass and heart valve repair surgery in 2003. During post-surgical recovery, my heart stopped. I was revived and I live on. In 2005, I receive a bachelor of arts degree in 2005 that I started some thirty five years earlier. My diagnosis was changed from type 2 to LADA diabetes in 2006. I received my pump in 2010. I look at life differently. I don't let things bother me. I am happy to get up in the morning. I believe there is a lot of good in every person, and just enough bad to keep them sane. I am happy to encourage anyone who desires to be better. I am happy to listen to anyone who is emotionally down. I am grateful when someone shares a joy or triumph with me. I value my friendships more than I value my possessions. I have a better idea of what Heaven is all about. I do not fear death. I look forward to singing in the Heavenly choir with the great Bach at the organ, and Robert Shaw and Fred Wearing conducting. I like who I am now.

Sometimes, it is good to be diabetic. What a wonderful and thoughtful question to ask, Anna. We all need carefully consider the answer.

Be well.

Brian Wittman

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