Tribute to Saundra

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Permalink Reply by Gerri on March 1, 2009 at 11:16pm

I edited this, but just a bit.

My Diabetes Educator fills in some of those blanks. Everything else I get here. The practical stuff, the emotional stuff, and yes, even the spritual stuff. Unless you have been blessed with Diabetes it may be difficult for you to understand this isn't just a "social network." These people are my family. What I get here is something you can't get from the Dr. or a CDE. What I get here is support when I want to quit, an understanding that my Dr. will never have, because he is not Diabetic. What I get here is men, women, and yes children who have been where I've been. Many of them have climbed this mountain before me, and the encouragement they have to share with me isn't something you can get from any Dr. When I'm on the mountaintop, I get to share with someone else who is in the valley. What I get here (at the expense of sounding corny), is the kind of love that can only come from those who understand my plight. You see, I have never met any of these good folks face to face, but what we give and get in return is something that can only come from family. My vision is a huge TuDiabetes Convention where we will one day extend the right hand of fellowship. When I meet Manny, and Melissa, and Kevin, and Saundra, Marie, George, and the list goes on and on, we will know each other because we have already been in the trenches together. What we get here in this place is priceless.

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Permalink Reply by Gerri on March 1, 2009 at 11:51pm

Oops, this was a comment someone left for Saundra. Not a comment she made. Thought I deleted it, but it showed up anyway. Sorry!

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Permalink Reply by Sohair Abdel-Rahman on March 1, 2009 at 11:34pm

Comment by saundra barragan on February 22, 2009 at 12:12pm
My dearest Sohair,
I am so sorry. I have spent so much tiome tending to my own sickness that i did not see this blog. Please forgive me for missing this when you needed so badly. I love you and am always with you and didn't know about this. I am just so sorry. I would not leave you alone when you are so sad. My tears are for the pain in your soul. I wish I could repair the things that are wrong with these countries.
My prayers and my heart, my strength and my love are with you. I could feel such sadness with you but didn't know what was in your heart. I am very aware of the wars and the bombing and the terrible death toll and have been sending my prayers to all the people too. I will be ever faithful in continuing
Peace be with you dear.

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Permalink Reply by Gerri on March 2, 2009 at 12:01am

Thank you so much for all the loving support. I could not have made it without all of you. I feel so very blessed for our wonderful family. Together we will all be able to make it through whatever we have to go through
I wish you a beautiful holiday season filled with peace and joy and many blessings. And i thank God for the gift of your friendship. He has truly smiled upon me.
Loving hugs to you my friend

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Permalink Reply by Bobby on March 2, 2009 at 3:27am

I have written a short memorial for Saundra in Microsoft Office Word. It includes some of what she shared with me. Rather than take up space here, I will just attach it. Manny, if you think it is too long for what you have in mind, let me know, and I will edit it. I already edited it, but if it's too long I can make it shorter.
Peace

Attachments:

• A Memorial to Saundra Barragan.doc, 32 KB

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Permalink Reply by debb on March 2, 2009 at 10:20am

manny i wrote this earlier in the poetry group. use what you like.

to sandy

good-by to you my dearest friend
i held your hand until the very end
you were strong and told us not to grieve
i know you'll understand that that's
a promise i just can't keep
you were a great and loving friend
i'll hold you in my heart forever
you mission in life was to help those in need
whether it was those in your family
or here with your extended family
you eased our pain and dried our tears
never once complaining about your
own pains, problems and fears
please don't be upset if we place you
up high on a pedestal it's just that
you mean so very much to us and
there is no greater honor that we can give
you have fled this mortal coil and god has
taken you into his loving embrace
you are now among his most treasured of angels
and you watch over and still comfort us.
be at peace now my sweet, sweet friend
for you have done all you can on earth
your fight is done,
you would falter and you honored me
by letting me share your pain and life
so that i could hold your hand
and be there for you till you were ready
to take up the fight again. you never
gave up fighting i have never
met anyone as strong and full of life
as you and i will try my best to be as
good a person as you were.
bless you dear sandy and know that
while you may not have been my
blood sister, you will always be my sister.
thank you for making me your sister and
confidant.
you are no longer in pain and for me that
is god's kindest gift to you. i will miss you
my friend/sister but i know that i now have
another guardian angel watching over me.
i won't say good-by, but till we meet again

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Permalink Reply by Marie B on March 2, 2009 at 10:35am

I went to "view thread" on Sandy's latest contribution and read through seven pages of our comments to each other. I will share some here. I have had a hard time lately with some new realities to adjust to in the past year or so, and she has helped me enormously accept and adjust. I think Sandy is the soul of TuDiabetes, selflessly sending notes of support and love to all of us. If I was feeling down, I'd just read what she was writing to other people, and I would be comforted.

I liked to send her pictures, real ones and mental ones to distract her from her pain. She loved the snow, and winter, and I must say, because of her, I have a new appreciation for winter.

1/24/09 "thank you so much for the hug. I have been thinking of you too. We have been walking near your beautiful lake. The funny thing is that although we can see and feel the snow we are never cold. And I carry your beautiful thoughts and pictures inside me when I have to sit through exams and procedures. last week I had some laser surgery and it went well. You were with me all the time and we walked around the shore line and around a little bend where we could see a lot of the lake. It was so pretty and everything went well until the doctor sneezed. I would have laughed then but he had his hand on the lense on my eyeball. It was a terrible way to interrupt a great daydream. I hope you get a laugh out of this. I wanted you to know where all you have been. Love you. Hope you are well."

I often pretended to take Sandy with me on walks and to my happy club meetings. I would take a good walk, and when my breathing got harder, I would pretend that I was breathing extra breaths for her. I used to tell her I was going to "put her in my pocket" when I was going off to a fun day, or somewhere beautiful.....

2/18/09 "I have been watching your snow all afternoon. Sometimes with my eyes closed I can feel the flakes drifting softly on my cheeks. Sometimes we are sitting quietly by the window where you are working on your quilt. The colors are beautiful and your stitches are so neat. It has been such a lovely day Marie. Thank you.....please know that you are deeply appreciated and loved. I hope you have a peaceful night. You gave me a beautiful day."

Last month, I went to the ear doctor. I went by myself, just thinking I had wax or something in there. When the doc told me I had a permanent hearing loss from an ear infection, I was devasted! I sat there in the room, and immediately asked Sandy to come and sit by me. I was immediately calmed down, and when I got home, I told her that I had summoned her to my side. She wrote me back,

2/2/09 "Hi Marie. I was thinking of you so strongly today and now I see why. I am so sorry about the ear and the hearing. I know you have been having such trouble with it. This is a terrible setback. And yes, we CAN get through anything together, but sometimes tears are important too. When you feel the warmth of those tears rolling down your cheeks, let some of this pain from going thrugh this wash away the hurt at knowing it is something to go through. Know too I am holding you with my arms wrapped around you and I am definitely with you......This saddens me that you have to go through this.....anytime you need to talk to me you can call. It never matters what time it is I am here for you. I love you.

and lastly, an email 2/28/09

"Thank you, Marie. Your love has brought tears to my eyes. My heart is overflowing with gratitude for having you stand with me. I know I can do this. But having you with me will help me to stand strong. You always give me such love and so much of your strength. I could not make it without you. Thank you for understanding too. You praise me but it is the love and strength I get from you and my other sisters and friends that I share with others. What you see from me has come from all of us together. We are truly a family here.....Thank you for making such an effort all the time, every day to help me and cheer me and to show how much you love me. You have understood all along the way and I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. I don't know why God has granted me the special gift of you in my life but I will thank him every day for the rest of it for the beautiful gift he has given me. God's blessing upon you dear heart. You are more precious to me than all the gold or diamonds in the world.

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Permalink Reply by debb on March 2, 2009 at 10:44am

here is a happy moment in a talk with sandy. she tells of things that she loves and has a little story about a bird.

We had a fantastic rain storm last night. There was thunder and lightning and some heavy rain. We had been needing it so badly. Too bad it wasn't snow. It is really cool today after our highs of 70 something yesterday
I had a bird come in my window this morning. I had the window open just about 1 inch and had been in my computer room with my back to my room. I had been hearing these little noises coming from my room for a while and was laughing to myself thinking I heard little creatures and making fun of myself for it. Then I turned my head and saw a bird fly across my room. I opened my window up completely and there was this tiny little tear in the screen and a little wren had squeezed through there. I took off the screen and between my husband and me we got the little bird to fly up and out of the window again. Too funny.
Speaking of funny, that joke was a good one too. No wonder their pharmacist fainted I am sorry I don't often tell you how much fun all the jokes are you send me, but I really do appreciate them.
I hope you have another good day today. I have pain under control for right now and am having a good day myself.

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Permalink Reply by Christina Luis on March 2, 2009 at 10:46am

Hi Manny, I don't know if this is for everyone, but Saundra really touched, My life and Maddy's, this is one comment that Saundra left for me that really gave me a boost. She was famous for that. I am really saddened and on the verge of tears at our communities loss of her love and support.
Here is the comment:
Hi C,
I just wanted to reinforce something I had told you earlier with this personal message. I don't want you to doubt yourself. I know you worry about DD but you have done such an excellent job and are such a good mother. You are involved, you pay attention and are always on the look out and are deeply loving and caring about what is going on. You have raised such a totally terrific young lady who follows all the things you have taught her. She has such truly fine qualities and she had to learn them from somewhere. I can't think they came from anywhere but you. I know you are aware of what an incredible young woman she is and i just love her to pieces. She has the patience and the depths in her heart to be so kind to a lady old enough to be her grandmother. And yet she still takes the time to talk to me. You have truly done an excellent job C. Praise is what you deserve.
I have two type 1 kids who are adults now If I can help with anything I would be happy to do so. Do you have G mail? i would leave you an e-mail addrerss and phone number if you ever want them
I think you are totally terrific too C. and I really like your new picture.

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Permalink Reply by Manny Hernandez on March 2, 2009 at 12:19pm

She was such an incredible woman... she earned our love and respect, indeed.

I can't stop crying every time I read something about what she did. I miss her so much...

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Permalink Reply by debb on March 2, 2009 at 10:50am

last one i promise, but i have so many. this is from sandy and it shows just how big her heart is.


I found a blog site from Sohair from very early January that i had never seen before. It really made me cry. She was very sad and asked her family to help her with her depression and i knew nothing about it. No one said anything about it and I ignored her cry for help because i didn't know about it. I wrote her an apology and tried my best to make up for it. I feel really bad about it. I have been so busy taking care of me that i have let a lot of other people just go by the way side She is really close to Renee and has gotten a lot of comfort and help from her, so i am glad she is better.

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Permalink Reply by Gerri on March 2, 2009 at 12:25pm

Crying at every one of the Saundra posts you all have shared. Know we all feel the loss of this very special lady. Can't imagine her family's grief.

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