Can depression be "ok" ??? Or not...

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Permalink Reply by Sarah Keech on September 14, 2009 at 8:47am

I have been a type 1 diabetic for over 30 years. Lately my diabetes has not made me depressed because my A1C has gone down the past 2 times I have had it checked. The frustration of when things go wrong when I am trying very hard to manage my disease can make me feel angry. Things like pump malfunctions causing sugars to sky rocket when I am trying to keep my BG under a certain number or lows when I calculated my humulog needs per the carbs on the box of my frozen lunch plus BG and IOB (esp. when this happens at work). Not being able to exercise when I had planned because I need to lower or raise my BG. The fear of complications in the future or the fear that I will never have good enough BG control to bear children after this recession stops financially kicking me in the arse. I am unsure if I am depressed or not but I definately feel frustrated. I keep better charts than almost all of my doctor's patients and I feel I deserve better BGs and A1cs. I am rereading Pumping Insulin, continuing to educate myself with other material and am motivated.

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Permalink Reply by Stuart on September 14, 2009 at 10:34am

Hello Sarah:

First thank you for taking part....

I wish I did not understand, but I do...as will anybody with even close to your experience... IMHO. Now I won't belabor the point (and will likely get "attacked" by some for proposing it), but it sounds to me like your pump isn't meeting your expectations for/of it.

Regardless after 30 years do you believe/think this frustration, this bone deep annoyance we do experience could qualify as "depression" ? It is the same things which our newer diabetic peers experience? Or are you and I others like us 20, 30, 40 years encountering something very different than "they" might be?

I wonder can you seperate something out that is so fundamental, so essential a part of who we are... (sic. though surely not our only parts, right)? What do you think...?

PS What'd you think of my linked metaphor above as someone with some "time in" themselves?

Stuart

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Permalink Reply by Cara Bauer on September 14, 2009 at 10:47am

I've been a type 1 for 13 years now, and I went through the stages of grief after my diagnosis. I went to a therapist to work through the issues too. And I've been on meds for depression. I never had any depression prior to developing diabetes at age 28, and I've struggled with it off and on over the past decade plus.

I've read diabetics have a higher incidence of depression. I'm not sure if this comes from living with this disease or if people who develop diabetes are more prone to depression. I think its a coping mechanism for newly diagnosed diabetics. For those who have lived with it longer, I think it wears on your physically and mentally, and we're going to get into a funk over it. The challenge is to realize what is going on and do something about it, whether you join a support group, go to a psychiatrist and get some meds, or go to a therapist to talk about it. No matter what is chosen, do something to help yourself!

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Permalink Reply by Stuart on September 14, 2009 at 12:07pm

Hello Cara:

Thank you for taking part as well. As someone with 10 years, do you believe the emotions, the condition we're trying to get our heads around... to be the same or different from that of a beginner, a newly diagnosed person?.

What IYO defines this "depression" exactly? When does the ~funk~ you mention become something else? Something that requires some type of treatment per se? Does all anxiety, all severe irritation, mind numbing frustration necessitate/mandate "treatment"...?

I don't know the answer but do have questions...
Stuart

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Permalink Reply by Scott on September 14, 2009 at 1:40pm

I recently posted something along these lines.

I've been diabetic and depressed for so long that I can't even seem to separate the two as distinct issues. I have "bouts" tho where the depression is definitely worse. There is a lot of mental stress and pressure with any lifelong condition. I sometimes wonder if there is a TSD (Traumatic Stress Syndrome) as opposed to PSTD... we never get to experience the Post portion of the stress

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Permalink Reply by Elaine on September 14, 2009 at 5:42pm

I do think adjusting one's life to de-stress is optimal. I am better now that I work 40 hours per week v. 65 hours per week. I have better control of my blood sugars, which affects every thing, I think.

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Permalink Reply by Stuart on September 21, 2009 at 11:58am

Hello Scott:

Interesting question... by definition don't we all have "recall" issues concerning... lows for example? Don't most of us, not merely members of this particular group, don't all of us in effect live around the fear of "the next time" that has certainly not happened yet???

I can blather about the benefits of "good control" as being "the cause" for most diabetes actions/habits. But the objective real truth is I will do anything to avoid having that low again. The long term benefits are a side effect, not the real reason at all.

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Permalink Reply by Elaine on September 14, 2009 at 5:40pm

I think all people are prone to situational depression, a natural reaction to a loss---whether it's the death of a loved one, divorce, illness, job loss, etc.

I think acceptance and adjustment to whatever life throws your way can take time. If you find yourself getting stuck (say, having trouble with self-care), therapy and medication are in order.

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Permalink Reply by Carol Coombes on September 15, 2009 at 7:52am

I've been dx as type 1 since 2/07. I was 60 at the time. And yeah i'm depressed and I know it. But I'm not on pills nor do I intend to be, they can do NOTHING for the root cause of it, the D. A lot is to do with the outright futility and frustration. I can't get even the basic questions answered, by either the endo or endless searching on the 'net. How I got this,? Why I got this, a "childhood" disease at my age? How to get rid of it? The futility and frusrtration of the all the daily stuff with no results. The futility and frustration that no matter what I do, the D does whatever it damn well wants, no matter how hard I try. The fulitity and frustration of why even bother to try.

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Permalink Reply by Stuart on September 15, 2009 at 6:50pm

Hello Carol:

I appreciate your views as well, thank you...

Slow death is the alternative. We must fight.... An author I like very much speaks of "dispair" through his characters and is most elliquent, poignant even. I like his sentiment (badly paraphrased by me)

you cannot fight despair with despair and win... but with laughter you can.

What did you think of my metaphor linked above? Does it make sense to you?
Stuart

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Permalink Reply by Stuart on September 15, 2009 at 6:43pm

Hello Elaine:

You make good points... situational depression is "reasonable". Now for the much HARDER question... should we AS diabetics, should this "maintence" routine most of us perform.... should we be "blissful" about it? Whether the activities themselves... or the prospect of them?

"Tomorrow" (the musical Annie) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0daTVnJmt8&feature=related is definately NOT coming from my lips as I take the readings, get them, or at any point along the way! I loathe all of it,.. with no excetion, ever... but I also accept the "alternitive" is likely dangerous/worse than doing them. The best of "bad" choices.... IMHV.

In my place... am "I" having trouble with "self-care"??? Does this qualify for "therapy" and happy pills??? I do not believe so, but look forward to more thoughts of/from my diabetic peers.

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Permalink Reply by Gus Pearson on October 29, 2009 at 7:52am

I view depression as a strange bed-fellow who keeps my back warm while sleeping since I know that its still hovering. I've had depression for 30 years and diabetes for 19 years, but both depression and diabetes are getting worse and they battle against each other. But one thing I've noticed is, since I'm trying to control it, is the sharp kitchen knife takes on a different use at least once a month. But dont worry it hasn't and will not take control.
Every morning I get up, I go into my dinning room, get a cup of coffee and sit down for my morning ritual of 1 inhail of advair, 3 different types of shots, and a hand full of pills--some of which I dont know what they are for--and take my BS and then try to take my second breakfast. To define depression at this point is a devil in itself where it takes on a new life, then I go into a battle mode and divide and concure to find ways to beat it up.
I dont think its ok to be in a situation where depression rules our lives, as we all have our ways of battling it but it should take a back seat in our lives. We have too many lives to think about, treating ourselves to keep going, helping our close family ties in our homes, our siblings. These are the ones who are there to keep our minds focused, to rely on each day as we get our clotheson and to feel alive. So take chare, no one is better qualified than ourselves.
Gus

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