I'm not sure what to do
Here I sit rather a captive in my own house, because I simply want to be left alone today, and work on some things work out some things while I get some crafting projects done. I am a bunch of alphabet soup diagnosis' alonw with being a diabetic and having arthritis, but I won't go into those, Just to know that I have sever, chronic depression and it, along with all the other alphabet soup things has given me the label of disabled. No I am not whining about that....I live with those things and quite frankly am happy to be alive with them. My problem now is that I AM captive in my house because I don't want to be bothered today, and I don't know how to help my friends with that. They are so good to me, but sometimes I need to be alone and work things out on my own. I have made up excuses, I have had real bonafide reasons for not going someplace with them. I have two sets of friends, those that I have had from childhood that understand and accept me as I am, and those I have made since moving to this God forsaken place....oh, did I say I have lived here 28 years and have hated every day of it except five of them? I hate my house, I live in a slumlord's haven...it's a tax write off for him, and a roof over my head for me. Yes I have talked to my therp about all of this, but his answers and my problem don't really match...Today they want me to go out of town with them...it means chipping in for gas, two meals and a little spending money. I don't have it. I have four dollars in my wallet...I'm saving that for a cup of coffee with a childhood friend tonight. I said I can't go, we are saving our money to go to my son's wedding in November --- that's about $3000...I've said I'm looking at houses, which is true, ; I'm taking t he dog to the vet, which was true, and I'm not well, which by the ABC's of my life is true. Now I have resorted to lying, today I am at the hospital with an elderly neighbor who fell and her son will be here by noon...isn't that horrible? or not? I'm just plain stuck as to what is the right thing to do. They don't want me to be alone, now that they know their ABC's and they just won't let me be. It's not like I don't spend days with them as it is, it's just that every so often, I don't want to be with a group. I want to be alone. If I don't answer the phone, they call my dh and tell him...thankfully, he knows when I am in that state of mind, and says he'll check on me, and hangs up. Being honest didn't work, lying...is still out for votes. What would you do?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Natalie ._c- on -
My therapist has taught me the value of setting boundaries. If you don't want to go, you should tell them that. And you don't need to lie -- you can simply say that you are not emotionally or physically up to it today. Those who SHOULD be your friends will understand; those who would get offended are not really your friends, because the definition of a friend is someone who wants the best for you. And trying to force you to do something that you TRULY cannot handle is not wanting the best for you. A true friend understands when no means no. I have a friend who will say "If you reconsider, let me know", but will never force me into anything. She's a true friend.
Meanwhile, enjoy your day at home, with NO guilt, NO regrets, OK? -
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Permalink Reply by Chaplain ET on -
READ A BOOK! I know that sounds trite, but it works. Use your imagination to become the hero, or the like, and that will help. Believe me, I know! Depression can sneak up on you, if you let it. I've been down on myself the last couple of days, and my wife, bless her heart, wants to help me, but doesn't understand how I feel. I'm on meds to help the situation, but they tend to make me sleepy.
So, hang in there! Chaplain ET. -
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Permalink Reply by Natalie ._c- on
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When I'm depressed, I don't have the concentration available to read a book. I can't even get from the beginning of a sentence to the end without losing track of the thought. Right now, I'm feeling good, and I just finished "Good Calories, Bad Calories" by Gary Taubes. I'm feeling a definite sense of achievement, because I haven't been able to read a book for a year and a half!
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Permalink Reply by Cathy Jacobson on -
No disrespect intended, but I can't read the newspaper on bad days, a magazine on a semi good day and can't tell you the last book I had the attention for. I've gotten over the sleepy part of the meds, now it's the concentration that is hard.
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