Hello…let the venting begin.
Okay, I LOVE FOOD ..just not the healthy kind. Anything green or even raw is not something that I normally eat. With this said I have been acting like a cranky 5 year old to my loved ones at home. At work, I have been asked several times if things are ok. (I’ve kind of stopped wearing make-up and I don’t feel comfortable in my clothes.) I have been eating barely anything during the day and then snacking on junk all evening.( when no one is around) In the morning I drink hot chocolate until I feel better and then at lunch if I go home I end up just brushing my teeth. (I haven’t lost any weight unfortunately By the time I get home after work I can nearly keep my eyes open…my BG is sky high and I am starving, Since, last week I must have had take-out over 5 times. Every night this week I have ordered out. I can’t help it. My friend was over and she started yelling at me about my food choices and not working out. (This is partly why I am venting here tonight) Heck! I know. She doesn’t get it at all. I feel awful already…having one more person tell me what to do., is going to send me over the edge, With Christmas, personal and work issues mounting up December is not looking good. I don’t want Diabetes anymore! I want to tell people “No”! Without feeling guilty. Also, I want to stop being blamed for giving myself diabetes.
I have tried to write all this in a journal but some people are just too snoopy,
I am sick of the people that I care about lecturing & yelling at me. I guess I am just frustrated and down. Things have gotten so bad I worked myself up into a severe tendon head that required a visit to the ER. I was told to stress less…ha!
Well, I don’t know what to call this…a rant I guess, Thanks for being here.
Hello, Carly! You can vent anytime you need to - or rant, or rave, or tear hell out of the cyber-room... And, if it were my cyber-room, and just up to me, I'd say you can tear a strip of anyone who makes the wrong comment in any way, at any time you need to - no "political-correctness" necessary! Because I know exactly how you feel. We do everything we are told; or we do absolutely nothing we are told - and it never makes any damned difference, either way! And nobody - doctor, medical specialist, diabetes newbie, or veteran - nobody can do one damned thing, to make any part of our diabetes make any sense to us!!! And,... it just makes us feel so damned weary ... so tired ...
And sometimes, there are no answers ..... which hardly seems fair! And we wake up, and see another day stretched before us ... another day of no answers; but all the same old problems -- the constant, wearisome process of testing, and noting down each detail so carefully ... so we can find out ... find out what? None of it ever tells us anything new!!! There's never any "Eureka!" moment! And there will always ... ALWAYS be somebody, who will find fault with the way we do "it".
So ..... I don't have any special answer for you, Carly - except to say that you are not alone; and you never have to be alone with this. We are here - as a community; and, when you are too tired to walk across the coals that Diabetes has strewn about underfoot - there are those of us, who will willingly carry you across; until you have found your strength, again.