Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Timothy R. Rothgeb on February 12, 2010 at 2:33pm

I have tried it all can't seem to get it right. Tried for the CGM can't get it. Wish I never got diabetes. Just want my life back.

Permalink Reply by Judith on February 12, 2010 at 3:17pm

I test many times a day out of a sense of duty to my family. When it is high (for me, a T2 striving for good control with diet and exercise alone for as long as possible), I rage and am filled with self-loathing. I did not know I had such a self-destructive perfectionist streak until The D consumed my life. It is not an exaggeration to say that The Scourge, on top of fibromyalgia and arthiritis was the tipping point to ruination in my life. Despair, oh my yes.....

I keep Pema Chodrin's writing close to hand always, for comfort and instruction.....

Permalink Reply by Karen on February 12, 2010 at 7:36pm

Type 1 for 43 years and yes the dark ages was soooo much better emotionally. Testing bloodsugar levels was not an option, eventually I switched to two shots a day and still life with D was so much easier.

I have been on MDI and pumping for the last 8 years and the mental toll and the 24/7 of this disease is unreal to me and I think back to the one shot a day and never really gave D much thought.

Now if my bgs is not near normal I feel positively awful and if I move or go for a walk on a normal bloodsugar my numbers drop like a ton of bricks.

I use to ride my bike 10-20 miles in a weekend and golf 18 holes, walking and never really gave my bgs a thought, now I am afraid to move. :(

Hope I am making sense

Permalink Reply by Stuart on February 12, 2010 at 8:15pm

Thank you.....

I am.... glad to know I am.... not alone believing this.... -whispered- (barely audible).

Stuart

Permalink Reply by KimKat on March 5, 2010 at 6:40pm

Karen,

This makes sense to me. The day I found out I had this I went around my kitchen and was afraid to eat anything. I still am. This is crazy. There has to be a better way. I also can't be about the testing stuff too - Why is it so expensive and to me it seems antiquated - in these modern high tech times they can't come with something better. They can give people new limbs for goodness sakes but we have to bleed all the time. come on!

Permalink Reply by Stuart on March 13, 2010 at 2:11pm

I know vaguely the name, do they write about chronic disease/suffering resulting thereof I would assume?

Pema Chodrin.... adding another author to the list yet to be investigated.
Stuart

Permalink Reply by KimKat on March 5, 2010 at 6:35pm

Omg, I am so glad I am not the only one who feels like this. I just found out I am diabetic (T2) a week ago and honestly I am mad, I am sad, I feel betrayed or something. Compared to a lot of people in the world my diet is great (vegan) so what did I do to deserve this. Although I am new and haven't had the experiences you guys have had - yet. And that is what is getting me. This isn't just something I can pop a pill for a few days and it will clear up - this is forever, the rest of my life. I am having a hard to listening to some of the people on some of forums say "It is not so bad once you get used to it" - well I am not sure if I will get used to. All that pricking of the fingers, watching everything I eat (and my diet is restricted enough), worrying about the blood sugars going so high or too low - I am not sure if I can do this. It almost seems OCD to me.

How i feel right now is that I have lost the "old me" and I will never get her back. Now I am the diseased me. Ths is all I can think about. Why do people think it is not so hard? I know that lots of people have medical problems they deal with but honestly I never have until now - at least nothing major that couldn't be fixed. Honestly, this feels like a prison sentence to me - glued to that pricky thing. I didn't know there was a time when you didn't have the meter - those must have been nice times. Really though, why is the meter so necessary - I can tell it is going to make me freak out. Maybe it is just another way for the companies to make money - I couldn't believe how much the strips cost - unbelieveable! (and I have no insurance or job!)

Permalink Reply by Judith on March 6, 2010 at 9:18pm

Betrayal. I felt from the beginning that my body had betrayed me. Sure, Dad was T2. But I was taking care of myself---phooey. And then factor in the multiple betrayals of our so-called health care system, and it's a wonder we haven't all assembled to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge!

Permalink Reply by Stuart on March 23, 2010 at 1:22pm

Hello Judith:

With "diabetic luck" we'd be too LOW to jump effectively... or too HIGH to be permitted ~jumping rights~.... (trying to find the twisted diabetic humor in her jumping analogy).

Permalink Reply by Judith on May 22, 2010 at 6:39pm

The one good thing about testing for me is that there have been times prior to the existance of glucose testing meters, I thought I was crazy because my brain was racing dealing with low blood sugar, or I was sad and it was really a low that me that made me cry. Other times I have gotten overly angry - not my usual calm self that takes it in and communicates sanely- and testing revealed high blood sugar. My emotions are real too, not always tied to a blood sugar range, but being able to test has allowed me to use what I know about myself and test when I am feeling "off".

I have tested less to run from the reality and the frustration the uneven bad yes bad numbers i see. I am frustrated by the inexact science and the feeling that the harder I try the more lows I experience. I still hate this disease but I know I am a good understanding person with a strong work ethic, and diabetes is also a part of that. Because it is a daily part of me.