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Comment by Judith on May 30, 2011 at 10:36pm

Welcome, Jeremy. My depression comes and goes. Right now, I want to crawl under a bush and give up!......life is too too hard.....

Comment by Jan on May 30, 2011 at 10:29pm

Hi, Jeremy, and welcome. We're all here to listen to your story and share our own experiences. And we're sending virtual hugs.

Comment by Karen on May 30, 2011 at 5:13pm

Welcome Jeremy

Comment by Natalie ._c- on May 18, 2011 at 6:37am

Judith, about suicide -- I once had 5 distinct suicide plans, with no qualms or second thoughts. But then the thought came to me that the reason I'm here is to learn as much as I can, and suicide would be cutting that off early. So I gave myself permission to commit suicide when the time comes, but it ain't just yet. I now have only one suicide plan, and a decision as to when to use it: if I become so demented I can't take care of myself, or if I have cancer and the pain becomes untreatable. Neither of those seems likely in the foreseeable future, but it's a comfort to know I CAN do it.

Comment by Judith on May 17, 2011 at 11:31pm

Buffy---I have long believed that swimming is the very best whole-body exercise. I don't have a logistically easy way of doing it, but absolutely go for it!!!!

Comment by Buffy Joseph on May 17, 2011 at 11:04pm

Judith, you are right there! I went the other way from you - I used to walk (even did a 1/2 marathon - 13.1 miles - 6 years ago!), but then knee/heel problems stopped that. Now I bike, and sometimes swim. I should get back to more swimming, particularly since I really enjoyed it!

Comment by Judith on May 17, 2011 at 10:37pm

Buffy---as an Oregonian, I really get Slug Power!!! I used to love my bicycle, but after 3 knee surgeries, it had to go. And then there's the fibromyalgia. I walk and enjoy it, even though right now it is with a cane. And I can manage Tai Chi, thank the gods. Evolving exercise patterns are so difficult as we head into our dotage. But they have to evolve for those of us with The D!....

Comment by Buffy Joseph on May 17, 2011 at 10:12pm

Jan, I'm glad you got out for a walk (even if it didn't help) and especially glad you managed to Skype with someone who understands what you are going through. It does take awhile to adjust to having diabetes (both physically & mentally), so give yourself some time to do so.

Lynn, your last sentence says it all "You are not alone". Thanks for sharing your understanding with Jan.

Judith, good for you for plodding when you have to. I have never been suicidal (I just have no energy to do anything, or I have panic attacks), but I think it takes a lot of strength to keep going when you feel that way.

Not related to depression or diabetes: I've started biking this spring. I go very slowly, and a friend said she considers that she runs on "turtle power". I decided that must mean I run on "snail power". I'm pretty darn slow. :)

Comment by Judith on May 17, 2011 at 9:12pm

It's so hard. I attempted suicide as a teen, though looking back, I think it was a plea for attention mostly. When I was dx with The D, I studied up on many ways to suicide. Too wimpy for many---what if I changed my mind after jumping off a bridge? What about the poor engineer if I stepped in front of a train. What a mess if I missed with shooting myself? Etc. I finally decided that if food was my enemy now, I would just stop eating and stay in bed a lot. Then I read that in starvation, the muscles start to eat themselves and wow did that sound painful. Sigh. So I gave up and began to PLOD though the bad days. One slow step into the day after another. I still have plenty of what I call my plodding days. But I have a strong sense of duty to certain family members (husband and sister), so I go with the whole Plod thing until I can at least walk at a normal pace......Wish you well!

Comment by Lynn V on May 17, 2011 at 7:30pm

I also live alone & had to deal with depression diabetes & job loss. I lost my job after being diagnosed with depression so can really understand what you are going through. Is there a friend you can call got all to? I find it helpful to do that, often times we would talk about other things to that were not related to this, it helped. You are not alone.

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