Hey guys .. I just joined tudiabetes and I've just seen this group which is the one for me !
I think I know that I have Diabulemia but I was never ACTUALLY diagnosed .. maybe because I rarely get checked by doctors !
I have had diabetes for six years now .. and I've had problems withmy eating habits and weight since i ever remember ! When I first knew that I have diabetes ..i was obliged to take my medications and follow up with my doctors ..then I started to lie to my parents about my shots .. food portions and I even stopped taking my medication or measuring my BG level !!
Right now I am still stuck in the middle of this mysery of diabulemia and i justcan't go back on taking my medicine the right way.. because I just can't imaginemyself strong enough to overcome my passion for food and the urge to look thin at the same time .. I'm just hopeless ......
You are not hopeless. I thought the same thing but we do recover, we do get better. I could not imagine a life in recovery either. It took a long time before I was ready to get better. All I could think was "I am going to get so FAT" but I really did not get really big. I leveled out after about 9 months of recovery to about the same size I was pre-recovery. The horrible urge to binge went away for me a lot when my sugars got stable. Everyone kept telling me that would happen for a lot of years but then when I finally got better it just did.
Coming her is the first step in getting better. The next step is getting better a little bit each day. There are actually some resources for people like US. diabulimia helpline (Erin Akers site) in the US will talk to you, help you with good doctors ect. We Are Diabetes is Asha Brown's site, it has a wealth of help resources and support. Diabetics with Eating Disorders is the UK site run by Jacq (the founder of this group). We have an active facebook group (search diabulimia awareness in the search box it pops right up) for love and support and just a lot of caring HELP! Diabulimia helpline has a twitter and tumbler if you use those social media sites.
I am going to send you a friend request on here. Everything on here goes straight to my email (which is on my phone) so I respond quickly if you just need someone to message. I KNOW you can get better. It took someone reaching out to me to save my life over a year ago now. I am reaching out to hold you hand so you can get a little bit better each day.
Alison's got it covered ;) reach out we are here and want to help
I dont really know what to say except - you are not alone. I am currently seeking help too. There is hope....
Hullo dear heart!
You're not hopeless, I promise! Like Alison is saying, there IS now (finally!) hope and support for us, and, increasingly, there are treatment plans that these groups are presenting to the medical establishment.
I live in Vancouver, BC, CANADA, and I've been struggling with diabulimia for 20 years now, am mostly recovered (though not perfectly, and that's all good. I challenge the perfectionism cause it comes with the eating disorder).
In the beginning years it was super hard for me, because everywhere I went, the doctors kept telling me I was fine and that it was 'all in my head' etc. It was shoved firmly under the rug and I was often called noncompliant. Um well yeah! Imagine that! I have a mental illness that is a compulsion! So, there ya go, SOME of what many of us with this disorder experience. *sigh* It IS getting better though, we educate and raise awareness if we can. 8)
I'm a member and peer of some of these groups online, and I'm happy to tell you that it makes a HUGE difference in my life. FINALLY not only can I vent, I can get and GIVE the support I need when it all gets too much. Diabetes burnout happens to us all at some point or another on TOP of our disorder, so it makes extra frustrating and scary.
I've been through the eating disorder clinic here TWICE, and so I've learned a lot of coping strategies and also some behaviour modification techniques that really work once you practice using them. Other people in our groups also share their victories and hints on how THEY make it work for them. Each of us has our own unique version of the disorder, so each of us has to find our own path, identify our own personal triggers and so forth. Sounds frustrating, but in the end, you CAN get your life back. I'm hoping that some of the familiarity of what I'm talking about can inspire you and be a relief after so many years of struggling on your own!
You have my respect and empathy, believe me.
So welcome to our group here, I'll look forward to reading your responses!
Hi there hon, you are not alone and you are NOT hopeless though it may feel that way right now, please keep in touch and have a look at the sites that Alisonisayoshi mentioned. xxx