Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Sarah Keech on October 20, 2009 at 7:35am

I want my sugars to be better. I am frustrated when I see my numbers up or low which may in turn cause a high sugar later. I often, maybe even daily, feel saddened by all my efforts and what feels to be not enough payoff. At least my A1C has been going down consistantly the past three checks (every 3 months). It is the most frustrating when my sugar jumps due to something going askew with my pump, cannula site, or those pesky, tiny air bubbles in infusion sets. I have had type 1 D for 33 years. I would like to be able to have a healthy pregnancy before it is impossible. I told my endo this over 3 years ago yet I am still Ms. Roller Coaster. I have been working on ironing out my night time boluses lately. Seems like as soon as those numbers are good, I get a cold or scrap my knee and get and infection. Next these issues go away and my humulog requirements change again. I use about 21 units a day so a little change goes a long way. I am not dispassionate about seeing poor results. I am trying, what sometimes feels like to no avail, to not see especially the high numbers. I am often saddened by things not going as well as expected. I guess I feel a bit short changed by my numbers, like my diabetes is betraying me with the results the A1C tests and glucometer readings are populating. I write down everything I eat, my exercise, illnesses everything in spreadsheets. I try to test every 1.5 hours during the day and I do a night check almost every night between 1:30 A.M. and 3:30 A.M. I know I need to create more balance meals and do more than a 1.5 mile walk everyday. I started a blog about preparing dinner and other stuff we have to overanalyze.

Permalink Reply by Stuart on October 20, 2009 at 6:01pm

Hello Sarah:

Thank you for taking part as well.

I too am not as "vulcan" (ie Star Trek: Ambassador Sarak not Mr. Spock...) as I truly would wish. But neither do I panic at any number no matter what it might or might not be. But very few get me ~passionate~ shall we say? Do you believe this is common among experienced diabetics?

Whether tiny sparks or vast immolations there are always tiny flames to be extingusihed aboard the ancient wooden vessel to which we all are sentenced, and share. "Damage Control 101"... 24-7-365. Does your alacrity, your vigilence help reduce your concerns, the fears in a meaningful way?

Stuart

Permalink Reply by Sarah Keech on October 20, 2009 at 9:19pm

I guess I do not feel burnt out in what I am doing now so I just feel okay with paddling at the same naughts per hour. My diabetic care coordinator is concerned I may burn out again. It is time consuming. If I ate more correctly things would get better. Trying to eat a perfect diet does tend to burn me out faster than anything. I remember being on many different rigid meal plans throughout my life thus far. The changes are due to changes in dietitions or nutritionists. I remember one plan was to eat a protein bar every day for breakfast. Now I don't even want to walk past a protein bar section and these are hard on the liver and kidneys anyway I think. I just go at the best pace I can currently tolerate. I had very over bearing parents, so as a teen, I could not tolerate doing anything. The second I checked my sugar once they would jump on me for going for the next step and ask what was my sugar all the time. Having no autonomy at an age were it is natural to start the seperation process from parents was not easy.

Permalink Reply by Jim Devlin on October 20, 2009 at 7:35am

Been Type 1 57 years. Your correct, ignoring it is dumb. Will certainly lead to complications which will make you deeply regret ignoring it, and you will die in a manner of a few short years, if you are lucky.

I felt much as you do as a teenager. I grew up, thank God. My last A1c was 6.2. This was done simply by eating very low carbs, no suger and walking a mile on most days. This is simply what healthy non diabetic people do.

If you can't do a 180 degree turn around, get yourself someone knowledgable to discuss your diabetes philosophy.

At least find out if your liver and eyes are suffering the enevitable damage up to this point.
I feel being blind will lead you to give a crap.

Permalink Reply by Stuart on October 20, 2009 at 10:59am

Hello Jim:

First thank you for your participantion.

Your 57 years (to my meager 40) buys you much forebearance . As a fellow diabetic your perception of things (based on a single response mind you ) is radically different from that which I understand. Unfortunately your post lacks emoticons, which might lesson the harsh quasi-rightous tone I perceive in it? (Hopefully I am badly mistaken... in that belief?)
Not always being "clear" either. I will try and flesh out my idea a bit more carefully... perhaps that will help? As a 50+ year diabetic you and my diabetic peers have all the ~experience~ I require! My complications are virtually non-existant, though the ironic "oxymoron" does not escape me (ie minor complication). Aside from minimal background retinopathy and some decent "armoring" (lipohypertrophy) after 40 yrs. +/- there is no dissernable damage anywhere on the "radar"... thus far at least.

So I am examining my percpetions, thought processes and seeing what may have occured in those unexplored realms. Hense my basic question...

My point was does our experience make us more dispassionate about the readings or anything else "diabetic" for that that matter which is not according to the intended script that we've written and strived for? Do you get wound up by the things that would make a beginner, a new diabetic run screaming to the nearest hospital in a severe panic attack? Has 50+ years upto your eyeballs diabetes experience-mud taught you the kind of "clinical dispassion" which I am poorly articulating?

I will freely hear you out, but easy with the "grow up" garbage. It is impolite and wholely unnecessary.... Let us try and chat... a hundred years, a century of serious diabetes experience betwen us... argument and name calling does not serve the discussion well.

Respectfully... I look forward to your (and others) responses...
Stuart

Permalink Reply by Jim Devlin on October 20, 2009 at 12:40pm

After 40 years I am honestly surprised that you find your diabetes so difficult. I have yet to hear this kind of talk from a diabetic of so many years. I have very often heard this from new and overwhelmed diabetics. This includes myseld until I, "Matured".
.
The key points of my initial remarks had more to do with the absolute and unquestionable harm caused by ignoring your sugar. You seem to have neither agreed, disagreed, or even considered this, but are outraged by the tone of my lines. Please don't let this tottally detract from the worthwhile (in my opinion) words.I do tend to be more harsh than necessary and I regret for this objectionable trait.


I feel sorrow upon reading of some individual who died due to diabetic complications. These unfortunate folks, in most cases, didn't properly care for their condition.

Finally, let me close with these borrowed words that I will continue to try and honor: Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

Regards,
Jim

Permalink Reply by Stuart on October 26, 2009 at 8:04am

Hello Jim:

Those "with more" expereince surely have learned more than myself, I try to defer to their knowledge. though my own diabetic pathway has never been ~blissful~, shall we say?? The hard part is absorbing others wisdom.

In response to your thoughts, I ask is it quite possible to have fightening zealous commitment and yet to STILL fail to the "whispered complications" promised in our youth?. That horrible truth, that possibility mocks me wickedly.

Perform to the best of our abilities and yet still acquire "complications" anyway? That thought truly taunts me in its maleviolence. I have read a great many posts in the last few months, largely beginners, though some of our more experienced "cousins" among them. I keep returning to the same grounds,

Should certain things "phase me" that do not?, Am I missing something because I don't get excited (ie numbers) ? Have I become, (am I becoming) the preverbial bamboo, unphased, bending in the glucose winds.

Reflecting, I do not know these answers so I ask my diabetic peers & revered elders for their counsel, their views....
Stuart

Permalink Reply by Jim Devlin on October 26, 2009 at 10:57am

Well..., first of all I have been really fortunate with the lack of complcations (o) during my diabetic life. I could be bitter and miserable if I had suffered some of the complcation shit people seem to enjoy warning me about. No question about this.
I don't think you meant "excited" when referring to your numbers, but I think I get the point.
Try and make up your mind to keep your glucose level below 200. This is not a life changing event nor is it nuclear physics, Make a mental game of it, maybe.
I believe, in time, you will find this to have been a good idea for several reasons.
When my sugar gets above 200 I have a lazy, irritable, run down feeling and ,in general, a bad mood. This doesn't mean you have identical symtoms.
One thing for certain, it ain't going away.
Good luck,
Jim

Permalink Reply by Stuart on January 31, 2010 at 9:03pm

Hello Jim:

My genuine apologies for being so tardy with my genuine thanks for enduring my my "mental diahrhea" , my badly addled thoughts such as they are. I appreciate your candor and attempts to help.... truly! And I thank you for your patience...

I strive for the dispassion, I attempt with every fiber of my being to win these struggles... as we all do I believe. Just once in a while, once every blue moon, I'd kinda like to actually KNOW I did win them though, you know???

But I'm not so sure it ain't nuclear physics though Jim... not when the most zealous efforts do NOT achieve the results which they should. eg When our numbers do not play fair, the dose(s) used should buy us a pretty specific drop in BG, a basic number yet does not so so....
Insulin should not be able to be "ignored". yet when used sometimes I can almost hear the maleviolent laugher (of my diabetes) doing so, If forced I can "stack: with the best of us to try and force a particular number.

But I do wish the reasons for such paradox were more plain. Can't a little insulin just work exactly like its supposed to ... rather than causing numbers that seem/are random...




Stuart

Permalink Reply by Christopher Smith on October 20, 2009 at 7:42am

I can certainly understand and sympothize. I think, in my case, that it is the sheer exhaustion that entails being a diabetic. There is never EVER a vaction. You can't just say"I'm gonna take this weekend off." After the timeless struggle to stay in control, I believe, there comes a time when we just say" I'm gonna do what I want, and then deal with what happens" not try to deal with a potential situation before you come to it. I guess, sometimes it is just mentally easier to fix something rather than ALWAYS trying to prevent it. Just my 2 cents but what good is life if you let it pass you by while trying to take care of yourself. Gotta have some quality of life somewhere.

Permalink Reply by Jim Devlin on October 20, 2009 at 9:45am

Sheesh! Diabetes control can become a very routine way of life.

Permalink Reply by Sarah Keech on October 20, 2009 at 9:55am

Should be reworded "trying to control" diabetes. I just changed the placement of my cannula this morning and the pump assumed I did not prime it even though I did prime it with 030u using the prime function on my pump. For the past three hours it has not been giving me insulin. I did everything right but my sugars are now in the 300s. This has happened once before but it was long enough ago that I forgot to go back and check if every box by the prime cycle was colored in the way they are supposed to be after priming. Like I said earlier, it is the most aggravating when sugars escalate due to mechanical malfunctions. Ugh. This was not my fault except that I should have tried to check every 1.5 hours like usual. You see how such a small mistep, like forgetting one BG check, can kick you in the nuts when it comes to D. Of course, now I am super thirsty and, even with a sky high sugar, super hungry. I hate technology and wish the shots would be okay but they are not!!

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• 3
• …
• 6
• Next ›
• Page