Oh my dear dear I'm so sorry! This is beyond overwhelming. Your husbands needs to seek support/help. Have you spoken to your doctor/endo about this? He/she may be the best person to suggest the best next step. Seek also the advice of someone at your branch of the ADA....they should know also whom to suggest. This is not just about him, but your whole family.
Hugs Hugs Hugs!
Wow...been there,and am so sorry you've been there too! It is so stressful and overwhelming. I agree with Linda G about talking to his doctor/endocrinologist. Your husband has to take responsibility for doing what he needs to do. Does he talk about wanting to die? My husband has had Type 1 for going on 35 years and just about every complication that goes with it, including a major stroke in 2005 and a heart attack last month. The last time I called 911 before the heart attack call was in April when I got home from walking the dog to find him in similar condition to what you described above. His BG was 19. Thankfully paramedics arrived quickly and his breathing/heart did not stop. If they did, he has a DNR order and an advance directive, so they would not have been able to resusitate him. My husband talks about wanting to die all the time. Despite that, he is still diligent about checking his blood VERY regularly, monitoring what he eats, etc. Right now that's the only thing keeping me anywhere near positive...actions speak louder than words and he's still doing what he needs to do. His endocrinologist is great, so finding a good doc and enlisting his/her help is important.
Taking care of yourself is important too. His disease affects more than just him, and if he cares about you and your marriage, that may motivate him to take more responsibility too. I'm going to see a counselor on Wednesday who specializes in caregiver stress. The stress of it all has really started to affect me over the past year and I've slowly realized how important it is to take care of myself. I hope you realize that about you. :)
After Steve's heart attack last month (and after NUMEROUS falls here at home, sometimes when I'm not home), I ordered one of those medic alert systems. Now when I am not home, at least I know that he has that medallion around his neck and can push a button if he needs help. That brings a little piece of mind, anyway. You might want to consider one and talk with your husband about that.