my husband has been diabetic for 19 years. He takes 3 shots and test at least 4 times a day. His sugar has NEVER been regulated. The Endo says it is as good as it will get. Well, the last time he was in to the doctor, he saw the PA. she sent him to a dietitian so he could start counting carbs. He has never been real cooperative, but he seems to be getting worse or maybe I just getting really tired of worrying about him and him not being concern at all. his A1C is 8.7. it just keeps going up and up. i didn't know this until we went to the dietitian. I thought that it was around 6. he NEVER tells me anything about his appts. i normally can't get off work to go with him so i'm in the dark most of the time.

i want him to get a pump or a cgm, but no, he won't have anything hanging off of him. now he is counting carbs. we went tonight to see the dietitian. she had him journal for the past two weeks. she asked him why he took the amount of insulin he did. His answer was I don't know. Every question she asked he would answer, I don't know. he was getting mad at her because she kept questioning him. if he doesn't know why he does things how can anyone help him:????? i don't know what to do. i'm so mad right now and he won't speak to me.

what do i do when he doesn't care? we have two daughters and they are always worrying about him, but still he doesn't care. i know i can't force him to do anything but how do i sit by and watch him kill himself or start losing fingers, toes or whatever. i don't want to be a young widow. he has other medical problems and he is the same with everything.

i am just SO FRUSTRATED, MAD, SCARED AND FEED UP!!!!!!!!
HELP!!!!

Thanks bsell

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I'm not really sure if there's anything you can say or do to make him change his mind. I was pretty uncontrolled with my diabetes for the first 18 years or so. The more people told me how to take care of myself, the less interested I was in doing so.

Then I got retinopathy.. It scared the crap out of me seeing (yay pun!) first hand the detrimental effects uncontrolled diabetes was having. I've since gotten my A1C down from the upper 9's to 6.7... with the help of a CGM.

As for your specific situation, I don't know you or him well enough to give specific advise....

Hi I would like to discuss similar problems I have with my spouse. Now my husband accuses me of giving him glucagon too prematurely. I only give him this shot when I can't get him to eat, or if he is totally unconcious. He doesnt believe me. Has this ever happend to you.

Hi Patty,

Sorry I haven't got back to you sooner. He has fought me (not physically) so I don't use a glucagon kit that often. At these times, I just wait until he actually eats or drinks something. Fortunately, he normally does get something so his sugar goes back up. The last time I used the kit I had to use two. He was so low, he went unconscious. I gave him one shot but it didn't do anything. I called the ambulance but we live in a rural area and it can take a long time before they get to our house. I gave him the 2nd shot and his sugar was still only 64. when the ambulance did come, they took him to the hospital. He had had a head injury earlier in the week and won't go to the doctor to have it checked. The doctor at the ER said he thought the head injury could have been some of the problem why he didn't response as normal. His brain was sending the right signals to his body. That was the scariest night of my life. I couldn't hear him breathe unless I put my ear at his mouth. It scared his parents and his daughters but not him. He could have died but he didn't seem to care. Our youngest daughter and fiance was at the house during the whole ordeal. She was hysterical but he didn't care.

Hi bsell- I am a t-1 female D. I don't think it would be a good idea for your husband to get a pump. I don't have one. I take MDI (multiple daily injections) and have an A1c of 6.3%. If he isn't interested in really working on his BG control than a pump isn't for him. It is more work to use a pump especially getting used to it. I would suggest getting the books - Think like a pancreas by Gary Schreiner and Using Insulin by John Walsh. YOU read them, leave them around the house for your husband to see. Tell him you are really concerned about him lowering his A1c and learning to count carbs. Maybe he will read them too. If not, you can tell him some of the info from the books. ( Not in a lecture ) Try to keep your cool, I know it is hard when you are worried about his long term health and complications from D. He probably cares, but is just in denial and or scared. Some men cannot show how they feel. Don't give up !!!!

Hi Bsell. My husband has been diabetic for a little more than 30 years and has had a few "I don't care about anything anymore" periods, but they have not lasted long. Like Catlover said, he may just be scared or in a denial period. Is he active on TuDiabetes? My husband resisted talking to anyone or getting involved with "support groups" for a long time, but once he did he was so glad and has been an active member on the site for a few years now.

Sorry to hear you are going thru this. I can read the frustration/stress in your post. I see that all of the love ones of a diabetic is going thru something with them. Have you tried any local support groups for any or all of what he has? It just a suggestion but sometimes when other people hear other people that are going thru the same things and what helps them out or what works for them it might be able to help him.

He won't talk to anyone about his diabetes. He would NEVER get on here and talk to anyone.

The doctor now has him seeing a dietitian and counting carbs. We have a friend who is diabetic, on the pump, and counts carbs. I asked my husband to talk to him. He won't. I thought it may help him to get used to the counting carbs which is completely different than the diet he was previously on. He has never spoke to anyone since he was diagnosed with diabetes (about 19 years).

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