My 6 year old was diagnosed 4 months ago and it seems the "Honeymoon phase" is coming to an end. I have read all the books, taken all the classes, talk to experts, exhausted myself with as much knowledge as I can...... My problem is I am scared all the time. I put on a game face in front of my son, but I still cry. Worried I will make a mistake. Moms who have been through these times please tell me what helped you get through it?? Will this non-stop worry ever go away?? Any advice would help right now...
I just wanted to report that my son is doing great with his diabetes away at college. We went to see him play hockey this weekend and took the opportunity to help get his insulin refilled at the pharmacy. Pods, wipes, etc are easier to get at home and transport but the insulin is harder. Also stocked him up on lots of snacks for lows.
He is playing a lot for a freshman and loves that they have a 15 min break every 20 min period (like the NHL) so he can check his blood sugar and either eat or add a tiny bit of insulin depending on his numbers. He has only been so low that he did not sleep and missed classes only one time. Now he knows how much to adjust his basal so that does not happen. He travels with the team and so far hasn't forgotten to take any of his supplies and snacks. He takes emergency RXs and a credit card just in case.
The day to day worry is starting to subside but bigger issues loom on the horizon. Now we need to get him to focus on his studies so that he can find a good job with health care before we have to drop him from ours.
Hope everyone else is doing well. Hang in there - it does get better!
i am so glad he is doing well, i have been thinking of him, the travel hockey would make me nervous but i guess he is in the rhythm of it all, i would not forget my toothbrush, medicine ect. so i guess he would never forget his supplies just part of his daily living so good for him for living it and for you for letting him! what a great role model your son had turned into, you should be proud! amy
My daughter is T1 and diagnosed at 4 yr old and will be 8 in December. We discuss her diabetes all the time and we say we hate it and that it is ICKY(her word) but then I tell her that with a good diet and exercise she will be able to do what ever she wants to do. (and believe me she does) I just spent the last week sitting in a room for five hours a day with another mother of a T1 so that our kids could go to horseback riding camp with 7 other children who's parents dropped them off and went about their day. The worrying NEVER stops. I dont think it gets better either. What I can say is as time goes by you both accept your new normal and you start to see how absolutely resilient and amazing your T1 child is. I never knew until this how strong, brave, smart and just all around amazing my child really was until I saw her on the playground one day playing with a little girl she just met. They were running around and then I am watching them and they both sat down in the sand and my daughter is pointing at her pump and showing the other girl what it was an explaining to her all about Diabetes.
This may help:
Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit. Did you ever wonder how mothers of diabetic children are chosen?
Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth; son. Patron saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."
"Forrest, Marjorie; daughter. Patron saint, Cecelia."
"Rutledge, Carrie; twins. Patron saint, Matthew."
Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a diabetic child."
The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy."
"Exactly," smiles God, "Could I give a diabetic child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."
"But has she patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it."
"I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has his own world. She has to make him live in her world and that's not going to be easy."
"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." God smiles, "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect -she has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps - "selfishness? is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a "spoken word". She will consider a "step" ordinary. When her child says "Momma" for the first time, she will be present at a miracle, and will know it!"
"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice....and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side".
"And what about her Patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid-air.
God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."
That always helped me. Just remember one thing through all of the crazieness YOU CAN HANDLE ANYTHING!!!! Just keep your chin up!
Thank you!! That was absolutly beautiful!!
Where/what is this from? This is beautiful - it made me cry. Thanks for
Mom to Kyle, age 14, T1 d-day 12/6/10.
Erma bombeck wrote it. It actually was for children with disabilities and I changed a few words to work with Diabetics. I think that I had this one sent to me by someone on this site some time ago. I printed it out and I keep a copy in my wallet and I whip it out when I need a little pick me up. It reminds me that I can handle this even when I don't feel like I can.
Thank You so much to eveyone who took the time to answer me!! I learned something from every response and am truly grateful to have found a place to vent and have others understand. I also respect the honesty, it did not hurt, it helped. I am so blessed to have a wonderful little boy who accepts and is proud of his diabetes!!
It is also good to learn that I cannot be perfect at this, I can quit beating myself up. Acceptance is a hard thing!! So very glad to be able to talk with people who "get it!!"
Thank you again
We are almost 5 years into our diagnosis and for us it has definitely gotten easier. The first several months (and on and off for a year or two) I cried a lot and worried all the time. I think that my brain eventually got better about multitasking. I still think about diabetes a lot, but it does not take up very much brain power. It is more in my subconscious so I am able to carry on with my life as usual, while dealing with Diabetes. I have also found that each year I learn more and get more confident about my decisions in dealing with D. My daughter (now 8) still has highs and lows, but we are better able to manage them. I have learned not to take the numbers personally. I think it has helped a lot to meet others who have children with D, not only in person, but on TuD. I have learned to adjust to what 'Normal' is with Diabetes. You will get there! Please contact me any time with questions or just to vent! Aimee
My daughter was diagnosed almost 5 months ago inher first year of middle school. I , too, am waiting for this to get easier. As she gains more independence from me with her friends, it absolutely breaks my hear to see her "keeping up" with the crowd but working twice as hard. Girls want to stop for pizza? That's a big deal for my daughter, but her friends are carefree and throw back a slice or two. Water park with her day camp? I am a nervous wreck all day and text the camp nurse to remind her to make sure she is checking, eating snakcs. Watching her prick her finger until she bleeds makes me want to scream I am so angry. Sometimes she will flinch and it is all I can do to hold back tears. I will agree with other readers, that this disease has shown me even more how incredible and strong my little girl is - a lot stronger than me!
Hi,Just to let you know the honeymoon period may not be over. My daughters often need adjustments when they are growing and then go right back to where we started when they are done their growth spurt. They were diagnosed three years ago and their insulin demands have not changed much. Mostly tweaking here and there. I pray regularily this helps me keep my sanity. You may not be religious but God doesn't care about that. He'll still listen.
My 5 year old was diagnosed in December and I am a diabetic myself. I think I obviously bring a different perspective with being a diabetic, both good and bad. It is a lot harder to be a parent of a diabetic than being a diabetic because we are constantly worrying about our child. As a diabetic, you don't dwell on the bad parts of a diabetes as much, there isn't the constant worry like a parent. Every person is different but I hit the point where I could breath normally again about 6 months after diagnosis. I still worry constantly but I feel we hit our new normal around 6 months. However, we overtest our child (which probably isn't good) but that provides us with ease. We get up several times during the night just so we can sleep. And honestly, the best thing we ever did was reach out to other parents of kids with diabetes and become friends with them. Having others that understand what you are going through is so crucial-it is such an invisible disease that most parents don't understand what they can't see it, your child may look completely healthy to them. I don't think your worry will ever go away, my parents still worry and I'm a grown married woman with 2 kids. It does get better though and you will feel settled into your new normal!
Curtsmom, we are headed to our 6 month mark in the honeymoon phase. I am in the same mind set as you are. My wife and I are nurses and I find myself trying to cram as much info into my noggin as I can about the disease. So much so that I feel that I am neglecting other areas of my life. As far as what helps get me through the periods of anger/sadness, I go to the old tried and tru method of exercising/meditation. There is alot that we as parents do and that will help our children thrive in this jacked up world. But we need to remember if we dont take care of ourselves now, how can we expect to take care of our children when they need us in the future? The worry wont ever go away as long as I live but I think it will decrease little by little. Keep your head up girl and remember to let the kids be kids. Which is who they are, they just happen to have this disease. My thoughts are with ALL new parents.