Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Allie on August 3, 2010 at 5:44pm

What a great idea! Our youngest is type 1-- we do summer camps, support groups, have all our check-ups, etc. Our oldest is 11, and while she never complains or seems upset, sometimes I wonder if she would like a group just for kids in her same situation.

Permalink Reply by Jessica05 on August 3, 2010 at 8:53pm

Hi, Allie~
From what I've been reading, there can be resentment that builds up, especially as the Diabetic child often requires more attention and monitoring, or the well child is required to help more. I hope someone will write and I can figure this out! I think it will be very helpful. If you have any ideas, let me know! :)
Take care~

Permalink Reply by Roxanne on August 4, 2010 at 7:49am

I would encourage one! I am the T1 in my family. I am now 26 and my sister is 25. She still swears that I was "favored" due to my diabetes. No hostile resentment, but that is her view. My oldest is also T1. He is 4 and his brother is 3. I am very conscious of how I treat them. I don't want my youngest to grow up with that point of view!

In our area, we don't even have a support group for the T1, much less the "well" child. We have to drive about 2 hours to even see a pediatric endo!

Permalink Reply by Natalie on August 10, 2010 at 8:00pm

I just read a story in the Diabetes Forecast tonight about this! It was such a touching story and it made me cry! It made me think of all the times we had to miss things for our oldest because of Rory being in the hospital or Dr.s appt., or just the amount of attention he gets throughout the day. Alana doesn't complain much but I know it has to build up. I wish we had more times we could just have outings with her, out for lunch and a movie. Some of it is partly the ages of our other two, just makes it harder to go out as a family and they demand more attention while we are out. But I know Alana deserves more time and she would probably enjoy a group like this. Rory doesn't even go to a group at this point, not even sure if there is one around here for him.

Permalink Reply by Jessica05 on August 10, 2010 at 8:49pm

I read that same story also and was also touched!! It confirmed to me that I need to work on this more for her. My older daughter has been saying things here or there, like she doesn't get as much attention, or she isn't as special. It breaks my heart and I reassure her that she is just as special, it's just her sister's pancreas doesn't work and I'm trying my best to mimic it which takes time. I told her I would do the same for her. That's part of the reason I've been researching these things, I want to try to avoid problems down the road. One thing we did this past year was to give both girls a little necklace on Elisabeth's diagnosis anniversary, recognizing both of their bravery in dealing with Diabetes.

I think I'm going to write Diabetes Forecast and ask if they have any suggestions on this and I'll pass along what I hear. Wouldn't it be cool if they gave more info on it and groups across the country started to pop up for the Well Siblings?

Take care!

Permalink Reply by Natalie on August 14, 2010 at 6:29pm

That would be great! Alana and I had a day on our own today for school shopping. My hubby had Rory and our youngest and was dealing with Rory running on the lower side and just the frustration that goes along with all of that. I felt ashamed at first to think I was glad I was missing out on all of that for one day. I knew Mike was able to handle everything well and it was just nice to be out with Alana without having to pack up so many extra supplies and just the chaos around eating out for lunch, stressing about numbers. (well except for the numbers of dollars we were spending lol) But Alana deserved the individual attention and we had fun. Of course I felt guilty later seeing Rory back home. It isn't his fault it stresses me out and I feel the need to get a break from it, meaning from him in a sense. He never gets that break. :(

But anywayI think it is a lot harder on the older sibling because they were more used to a life before diabetes. Our youngest doesn't know any different in how our daily lives run now. She wants me to check her at times and she even lays down for "my turn" when I am doing Rory's site change.

I look forward to hearing what your response is from Diabetes Forecast and will keep my eye open for if they start lisitng more info!

Permalink Reply by Jessica05 on August 14, 2010 at 7:22pm

Hi, Natalie~
I'm glad you had such a good day with Alana! I know it's hard to balance between everyone and to feel that Mother Guilt. I find that little breaks sometimes help me to see things with fresh eyes and to appreciate everyone as I should. Someone told me once...maybe the kid wants a break from you also! LOL...who knows? I also find it hard for my husband and I to get out and date often enough. We don't really have a steady babysitter right now, and with the busyness of life, it just seems to be lower on the totem pole. I know that's also not good nor healthy in the long run either.

I also contacted JDRF on if they have support groups for sibs. They pointed me to their NYC chapter, so maybe there is a PA chapter that could advise you? I hope Diabetes Forecast will respond! :)
Our Endo definately wants to start a sibling support group, so I'm excited for that. Of course, it means an hour commute into the city during the school week, but I know it will be worth it in the long run.

Ok, I'll say goodbye for now! Have a great Sunday!
Jessica