Oh irrational low-bloodsugar mind. No. Drinking a grape juice, then eating 3 glucose tabes, a banana, two fig newtons and three squares of chocolate WASN'T a good idea after all.

I'm an idiot.

I've been testing psychotically to keep myself in better control. When I called medtronic for help uploading my pump and the lady was looking at my profile, she's like "I see you're testing 20 times some days"

Yeah? Well. SO what? I'm already going blind and haven't felt my toes in 7 years. What's the harm in better control now?

So yesterday was perfect. PERFECT. Highest bloodsugar WITH booze and holiday food? 189.

Then today wakes me up at the ass crack of dawn with a…

My next endo appointment is July 26th. I don't think I've been since probably October or something like that.
I am praying, rallying, hoping for an A1C of 8. This comes out to around 183 as an average.
If I can pull this off, it will be the best my control has been since I was 17. (10 years)

Please focus some positive energy my way if you read this.

So, I've been making a concerted effort to eat less carbs and not under-bolus in fear anymore.

For the last several months, my blood sugars have run under 200 pretty consistently.

I am trying new ways to take/split up boluses so they don't hit me so hard, and really trying to listen to my body on when I am dropping fast or stuck in a holding pattern (My insurance won't cover a CGM so I have to guess)

I now usually wake up in my target range 110-130 and try not to eat things…

• Hey Sarah?
  
  Yes, self?
  
  Let's have a delicious sugary alcoholic beverage concoction tonight instead of our normal vodka and seltzer water.
  
  Wow, self, that was delicious!
  
  Hey Sarah, should we take lots and lots of rage boluses to get this pesky 350 bloodsugar down that won't seem to go away?
  
  Yes, Self, let's do that instead of just bolusing a little and waiting!
  
  Hey Sarah! Remember how you were just 350 and now you're 65 less than an hour later??? Doesn't…