Comment by elaine peterson on June 14, 2010 at 3:08pm

I wish I could be there to give you those hugs.

Comment by Peggy on June 14, 2010 at 4:08pm

Please get some help. My son is diabetic (newly diagnosed at 14) and I think it's been harder on me than him. I know what it's like to be hurting on the inside but there are so many people who can help you. Please treat your highs.. people love you and you need to talk to someone to help you. You remind me of myself when I was in college, very emotional and I used to write poetry about my feelings. Now I am a mom and I want to know that you are going to me okay.

Comment by Bob on June 14, 2010 at 5:55pm

I'd like to second the comment about your writing lovely prose. We're all of us trying to make it though, and we all have our ways of doing it, and probably all of us have ways of doing it that are less than ideal. I struggle to work through my issues, and I happen to need some help to do it. Not every day is a good one, but I'm making progress, and I sure have more good days than I used to.

Comment by Virtue on June 14, 2010 at 6:27pm

Heya,

Yep. Been there. Done that... not so fun :( Depression and cutting is like diabetes some days are good and some are bad... and then some are really bad. Your writing sounds like most like the latter option on the list...

I know your prose is written in the third person, but I'm going to guess you are talking about yourself... I'm also going to guess that diabetes and maybe even depression isn't the only thing going on for you. At least, it never has been for me when cutting happens. Rather, there's a whole lot of not-niceness behind that...

I know over the years people have told me what they think it's about, but they never really got it... a little like the diabetes. I don't know what it is for you, but for me it was like I had something hateful and hurtful trapped inside me and I just needed to get it out somehow. Cutting did that... but in the long-term, talking does it better. For some people that's a therapist, for others its a support group, and for others it's a friend. Whichever is best for you, I hope it finds you soon...

And, BTW, just in case people in your life have not told you: you are smart, talented, pretty and not bad...

Take care... and hugs...

V.

Comment by kelly kunik on June 14, 2010 at 6:27pm

Briar-Rose:
Your not a bad diabetic, but you do sound like a depressed PWD. Diabetes is hard and it's 24X7. I know it's difficult and scary and frustrating, but you are so worth it girl! Please talk to someone re: your cutting, PLEASE.
Have you ever considered meeting with a Certified Diabetes Educator, a.k.a CDE? They can really help.
Briar-Rose, your beautiful, talented, and so many people care and love you.
Love yourself enough to get help, so that you be happy, live well, and inspire all who come in contact with you.
HUGS!

Comment by Katie on June 14, 2010 at 7:31pm

Briar-Rose
I went through a time where I was so depressed that I stopped taking care of my diabetes. I was dealing with alot of other stuff besides diabetes and was felling like if it was going to kill me eventually may as well speed along the process. I stopped taking my insulin, stopped checking my bg. I was miserable.
What helped me was knowing all the people who cared about me. That they weren't going to give up on me even if I had given up on myself.
I want you to know that even though you're feeling so alone right now you are not. There are people that care about you and want you to take care of yourself. You should talk to someone. Be it a parent, friend, counselor, some one here. You need to get the pain out in a less destructive way.
I'll be thinking of you

Comment by Cathy Jacobson on June 14, 2010 at 8:56pm

I used to cut, and there are times and circumstances where I wish I could again. I am so sorry that you are in such pain that cutting is the only way that you can find to help rid you of the hurt? I can so relate to the depression, the pain, the need to see that you are as others are, your blood is red just like other's blood is red.
Sometimes the pain of the blade is less painful than the pain that is causing the cutting. I agree that you should talk to someone, someone who understands that this kind of cutting isn't a suicide attempt, but a way to deal with a lot of stuff that is in your soul and your heart. I have the scars on my arms and my stomach from my five years of cutting, and although some may think it is a reminder of worse times, I think, for me it is a reminder of my life in general. I don't have those scars out of hate for me, but out of trying to find some love for myself.

Briar-Rose, please because you do love yourself enough to reach out to find an answer or at least share your pain, please seek out someone who will help you understand and possibly stop the cutting. You will get back on the track of taking care of your "D"....you are not bad, you are not even close. You are in pain, and you hurt.
Your writing is a good outlet....and you are very good at expressing your pain and hurt....now might be the time to tell someone who can help you with it.

Stay in touch, know that we who have answered care a great deal about you. Many, many hugs.

Comment by Briar-Rose on June 15, 2010 at 10:11am

Thank you so much, everyone, for your kind comments. It means the world to me, knowing that someone cares. I have been cutting since I was 12 - so 6 years ago- and I got diabetes when I was 14.

Comment by elaine peterson on June 15, 2010 at 10:18am

Keep checking in with us ....we are thinking about you.

Comment by Mario on June 15, 2010 at 8:45pm

There is no bad diabetic at all. The problem with diabetic is that that often felt guilty but SHOULD NOT. Diabetes is not a science, it is an art. This disease is not like another sickness for which you could raise the medication and everything should be fine. Diabetes is harder than that. You always have to be aware, to watch, control, test, check, eat this, don't eat that, etc... So when you lose control, you should not felt guilty, because you have made big efforts to keep yourself in good control. Even if you do all you should do, you'll have some bad BG.

And you know what ? It happens to all of us !!!

Please change your blog topic to : "I am a normal diabetic" ;-)

Comment

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• Next ›
• Page