So this guy sits with me and my friends at lunch and almost everyday he makes a joke about my diabetes or my pump. I dont want to leave the table cause all my friends are there so Monday when I get back to school even if he doesnt say anything im going to say this... " Hey you need to be quiet and stop makeing stupid hurtful jokes about either me on the pump or about diabetes. Dont say you dont cuz people have heard you.You dont know what its like to be me so you just need to stop it. You think your jokes are funny but they arent. I may look fine on the outside when you tease me but really im hurting on the inside.

I need your guys opinion about this.

Views: 842

Comment by PatientX on January 12, 2012 at 5:04pm
Standing up to this guy is very brave of you. How is your group dynamic? Are you sitting with your friends and they are allowing this kind of behavior. I think sometimes the group can correct the behavior of the members. Have you told any of the friends that sit with you that his comments bother you. My good friends have stood next to me in times when someone was messing with me. If you can confide in your friends maybe they can help you get the message across to this guy.
Comment by acidrock23 on January 12, 2012 at 5:12pm

My daughter's old schools in the district that we moved from were like that. I "helped" at lunch a few times and the teachers would just walk around urging the kids to eat and not to talk. I thought that it was sort of wierd and stupid but I think they had to work around ridiculous time constraints too. There's a lot of wierd pressures on schools but I'm not sure how running the place like a prison really helps. If teachers "bully" kids for what would be very normal teenage behavior "yo, whassup", etc., it isn't suprising that the a****** students act like that too?

Comment by Richmatik on January 12, 2012 at 5:19pm

I thought lunch time at school was supposed to be one of those times that you got to converse with your friends? The school system in the US must be a lot different than that of what we have here in Canada... unless times have changed more than I am prepared for. :)

I don't agree with the teacher making a big deal out of you doing what you need to do to both keep on top of your diabetes, and not be late for class. On the other hand though, I wouldn't sweat it. Just go about your business, and if it becomes a common occurrence then you can deal with it - might be as simple as going above the teachers and having a sit down with the principal of the school along with your parents to discuss what's bothering you.

Comment by Scott E on January 12, 2012 at 6:27pm

Some teachers are just mean. I agree with Gerri... I never heard of "silent lunch", but I have heard of common courtesy and decency, and this teacher doesn't have it.

Comment by Buckley83 on January 13, 2012 at 12:38am

Hi Anna,

I think it would be best to call him out and try to embarrass him... I had a similar thing when I was younger.. Something along the lines of "are you so stupid, insecure and have such low self esteem, that you have to make yourself feel better by trying to embarrass somebody with a serious health condition, your mother must be proud... You have a giant nose/clown feet, ridiculous hair, (insert put down here) but you don't see drawing attention to it at every available opportunity... Ha, something along those lines...

I have always hated bullies, so always made sure I drew attention to what they were doing and always stood up to them even if it got physical and I sometimes got my butt kicked ha.. I do remember being really down about it when I was younger and it's not always easy to see these people for what they really are when you are in the middle of it. Which is usually unhappy and with low self esteem and confidence.

This is not forever, everyone has to deal with jerks once in while.. I am sure karma will catch up with him at some point.

Comment by Brunetta on January 13, 2012 at 5:46am

O Honey Anna, You are having a difficult beginnng of the year at school. You are trying to follow all the rules of the adults and the school setting and defend yourself against an unwise, silly classmate. And I bet you feel it is all to no avail. It isn't. It is NO crime to be a diabetic. I would talk to each of the teachers one one one. SEt up and appt with them after school or on their break period, if you can.Tell them, in a calm matter, whatyou HAVE to do to stay on top of your diabetes care. Most peoprle have no idea what you must do. See if you can have the school nurse intervene with/for you to have an adult on your side. The teacher that yelled at you has probaly been told, or assumed; that it is her responsibility to get the students out of the lunchroom and to clas by x amount of minutes. ( There may bad evaluations pending, other teachers saying you do not have "crowd control'.. yeah I know how it is in schools.) You can talk to teachers in a calm way one-in one with the grand majority, in order to inform thrm. Again, Ask to set up and appt. and they will be impressed by your maturity . Now as for the boy who tries to upset you. Mke sure he is not on your emotional radar at all. . I know it is hard but turn your head , ignore him with your haed helkd hiugh your hand in hius face, and an expression of 'Not you again, what a waste of time" on your face. That COULD be said, if you can do it coldly and sarcastically enough.; Yet Goading him into a verbal confrontation may be just what he wants. Just think of him as a weak: He has no power to control or define you. The silent treatment, particularly in mass, can be quite effective. CAN you get your friends ti help you on thsi, or has that issue resolved itself.
I know thsmay i sound like what many adults often say to teens,, but sometimes it just takes a few days and one problem fades away; maybe another will surface.. But you will be able to take it all in stride as you grow and mature.:Not making light of your struggles.. I was a teen with diabetes and sensitive, too. Fortunately it was anither day and time and kids I was around were not aboutput-downs for health issues.They had better home training then, and less media influences that it is :"cute and cool" to do put downs for health issues and other things you cannot control.(Yes it is his MOMMA and POPPA who did not teach him or LEFT his care to Mtv or the X-box; but no excuses for him: He needs to grow up!!!)
YoU ARE growing and changing and becoming mature. Keep knowing YOU are the special girl God made you and No one can change that. NO ONE( not yellling teachers nor lunchroom bullies) No ONE!!
God Bless,
Brunetta

Comment by garidan on January 13, 2012 at 6:59am

Anna,
I'm from Italy and don't know how things go there, but anyway I wanna say try to at least appear if cannot fell quiet and smiling.
You are not required to fight the whole world ;-)

If they want you to not say "hello bye" ok, explain that to your friends and walk straight away with closed lips.
If you have not yet a writen permission, ask one to your principal, so teachers will have nothing to say if you go to the clinic.

Smile, polite and keep calm: there are many stupid people, they have to see they have not influence on your mood, anything they did.
I understand you are sad and feel anger, but think of that teacher as a poor man, and think no more of him.
Have your "one happy thought" as Peter Pan tells, and fly over them.

Comment by jujube on January 13, 2012 at 12:15pm

Ms Anna, you need to let some of your diabetic friends talk to him instead of the counselor. We will set the little monster straight!!! LOL... I think everyone on here is feeling your pain and knowing it is rough out there. Stay strong!

Comment by Donna H on January 14, 2012 at 4:14pm

Hi Anna, I came to this discussion late, but I still have to say that I admire your courage. This guy is a bully and bullies are cowards. Keep that in mind - you are a far braver person than he likely ever be. I know that hearing that probably doesn't take away the pain from the way this guy is treating you. But it is the truth. His is the weak one in this situation, not you. My husband is a guidance counselor and I shared your post with him. He said that you definitely should let your counselor know that you are being bullied. If you don't feel comfortable, have a friend who has witnessed the bullying go with you. He said the school needs to take this matter seriously. We are rooting for you!

Comment by Anna Banana on January 14, 2012 at 4:39pm

thanks. i told the counciler and she talked to him. hes tried to tlk to me but i just look at him say im not talking to him and that im still mad and i walk away. even if he were to say sorry it doesnt make up for what he did

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