A week ago I decided I was going to start testiing my sugars and getting back on track. Saturday I did really good and felt better already. Sunday was not so good. The whole day i did good. That night my dog died. I know people think Im crazy when I say this, but that dog was everything. Oh if everyone knew Murphy you would have fell in love with him. He was so nice to everyone. He was my world. He was a Bichon Frise. Since Christmas he was acting really weird. He would sit still and not come to anyone-and trust me that was not him! Then he would go back to being normal. He did the same thing on New Years day. But then he was ok. Weeks would go on and he would sometimes be okay and sometimes he would be really lathargic. On Monday (the week before this past Monday 11th my mom took him to the vet. They said he was dehydrated. I forgot to mention that he was not eating or drinking. Anyway they said that his kidney was elevated a little because he was dehydrated. They also said that he was anemic. They said there was nothing wrong with his stomach because he didnt tense when they did this certain test. They made it clear that there was no need for an x-ray. We took him home. This past Sunday he started acting up. By the evening he was so lathargic that he couldnt stand. I was crying and so was my mom. My dad swore that he was going to be ok the next day because that was what he kept doing all month. We finally decided to take him to the hospital in Columbus. When me and my mom were getting ready my dad hollered down and said that he was dying. I cant tell you this feeling. My whole world was dying in front of my eyes. I could not watch. He was a mommy's boy so when I sat there and watched my mom cry out to help him, I just sat there and cried. He was only eight years old and Bichons have a life expectancy of 15-18 years.
Ever since then I stayed off track. I have wanted to eat everythig in site. I just feel so alone. I feel so weak and empty. Whenever I ant to smile I think of him and cry. How will I ever get over this. How will I ever have the strength to get back on track.