ever since i was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes i have put it on the back burner and sometimes will go for weeks without checking my blood sugars. but always in the back of my mind i know that i am slowly killing myself and it makes me so sad. i feel overwhelmed by this disease and feel that it is the worst thing i could have been given. its so hard for me to be motivated to take care of myself. my life is so busy and hectic i forget i have diabetes and forget i have this pump attached to my body (i know, crazy!) and to be honest, when im out with friends and they dont have to even think about what goes in their mouths i dont think about it either. i have delt with anxiety and depression ever since i was diagnosed. my mood swings are crazy. im ready to go back to my fun loving normal self. my intention of joining this site was so that i can talk/meet people who are going through the same thing as me and who understand. i know nobody where i live with diabetes and feel so alone. being in your 20's with such a life-changing disease is very stressful to me and very dfficult to manage. but, i am ready to start doing better with my management and need some help! anybody in their 20's feel the same way or have any words of wisdom?? im on my last straw...somethings gotta give.

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Comment by Doris D on March 1, 2010 at 7:24am
I done that for years. First off HELLO and second I hope we can help you get where your going! I really had no control at all til I joined this site and got to reading other's blogs and saw what I was doing to myself! Here anytime you need it one of us is there! Just come online and tell us what you need!
Comment by Lissaynch on March 1, 2010 at 7:48am
Jessica -- I am in the same position you are, only I think I've been doing it longer! Feel free to e-mail me. Maybe we can get each other motivated to do better. I think my A1c is the same as yours right now!!
Comment by Carolyn Deans on March 1, 2010 at 8:31am
Hey, Just saw this post. I was diagnosed when I was 11 and went through all the same things when I was a teen. I also went really long times w/o checking and went through spells of anxiety and depression. Thankfully, for me, that time was a long time ago, and I'm happy to say that I'm doing a lot better in recent years, but I do remember what it was like.

For me, there were 2 things that helped with checking more often and they were:

(1) accountability. I really wanted to know when my blood was bad so that I could bolus and fix it. However, I didn't want to be held accountable for it. I was young and didn't want to have to explain to my parents or my doctors or anyone how I got to 300 or 400, but I still needed to know how high I was so that I could fix it. The thing that helped me get around this was to have a second "secret" meter. It sounds really silly, but at the time, I was a kid, so any blood sugar in my "official" meter would be seen by my parents and doctors. So, when I knew I was gonna be high, I would check with my "secret" meter and bolus and then check again in an hour or two on my "official" meter when I knew I would see a better number. As silly as it sounds, I STILL do this sometimes. I have several meters, but only one is my "official" meter that I use almost all the time. If I'm at home and I know I've been bad and I know I'm gonna see bad numbers, sometimes I'll check on a different meter, bolus, and then check again in an hour or two on my "official" meter. Anything that I see on the "other" meter, I bolus and deal with, but it's kind of like a get out of jail free in that I don't let myself feel guilty about it. That helps me get around all the times when I don't want to check because I know the number is going to be bad.

(2) needing a break. OMG diabetes sucks. Sometimes you just need a break from it. But you can't just not check. For me, it took me forever to figure this out, but sometimes it just feels better if someone else does it. Sometimes, when I just don't feel like dealing with it, I'll let my boyfriend check my blood sugar for me and do the bolus if I'm high. We've been together about 3 years and we live together and so he's pretty comfortable with my pump and meter. It sounds silly, and yes, of course, your finger still gets pricked, but sometimes it just feels easier if you don't have to do it yourself. I think nowadays, when children are diagnosed, they tell parents to do this sometimes to give the kids a "break" from checking, but they didn't do that when I was a kid, so I didn't figure it out until a year or two ago, but I do think it helps. Sometimes I just really don't feel like making myself prick my finger and dealing with whatever the results are. I just don't want to think about it. And so, during those times, if someone else can do it for you, then it can still get done without your having to deal with it.

Hope this helps. I am really close to Raleigh, btw. I live in Morrisville now, sort of by the airport.
Comment by Jessica Christine Struve on March 1, 2010 at 8:31am
I guess the only ones that can help us is us. I just dont want to have to change my lifestyle drastically for this disease. I want to still be normal and do normal things, as would anyone else. A little exercise and better diet couldnt hurt...those with and without diabetes...
Comment by Jessica Christine Struve on March 1, 2010 at 8:41am
Thanks Carolyn-- good advice. At this point I just need to get over myself and check all the time like I should. I feel like sometimes Im still very much in denial...and Im so sick of my mood changes and depression that Im ready to try anything to get me better. Then, once I get better, I wont be "crazy moody girl" and I can find me a boyfriend too to check my levels. HA. :)
Comment by MaiaJane on March 1, 2010 at 12:29pm
I was diagnosed just weeks after I graduated from High-school. My parents live on the other side of the world, and I was thrown into this new life with a new facet to myself.
I was planning on so many things, so much freedom in so many ways. I was not planning on being os accountable to myself, being so entangled in insurance and money...
I cannot describe how fast it made me grow up.

Remember that no matter what, you are in charge of your body. You are your pancreas.
You will feel the difference when your diabetes is well controlled. Knowing your blood sugar may scare you when you know it isn't where you want it to be, but when it is, you can be proud. There nothing I can compare to the feeling of knowing you are doing a good job taking care of your body.

It took me a long time to start to separate my emotional well being from the numbers on my meter, and I still wrap myself up in them sometimes, we all get down in the dumps. We all get burnt out. Sometimes I take "breaks", My boyfriend checks my sugar, boluses for meals and counts carbs for me. He's been with me since the beginning and understands how exhausted I get.

From the beginning I made sure to move the disease around my life. I do not hide it from the people around me, when I am drinking I make sure someone who is staying sober has my glucagon and knows how to use it, I eat what I want, and bolus accordingly. I know exactly how alcohol changes my blood sugar, I know how my favorite donut changes it, how going for a hike with my friends changes it, how waterskiing, dancing all night, and take-out Chinese changes it.

The most important thing about checking your blood sugar is that you can learn how the things you do change it, so that next time you go out for pizza with your friends, you can bolus for it without stressing out about your blood sugars.
It seems counterintuitive, but the more you check now, the less you need to check later. The more you understand about the way your life effects your diabetes, the less it has to rule your life.

Most of us feel the anxiety and depression, and some days it is too much. but that's a part of life. Know that your friends might not understand now, when they don't know what exactly it is, but if you explain it, they can help you out. If they know what it means for you to be high or low, they can help you make the right choices and take care of your body.

Having a pump helps a lot. it frees you from shots, and allows you to bolus in public without being obvious. Instead of giving yourself an injection, you send your body a text-message that keeps you healthy.

Stay strong, and rock on.

And know that we are all here to help.

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