So this past year has been really hard on me as a person in general. Last November I started a job that I thought was going to be great but ended up nearly killing me because my boss didn't care that I was diabetic. I finally got out of that job at the beginning of April and since then I feel like my life hasn't stopped.
I still haven't been able to get a job...not because of the diabetes, but because of everything else in my life that's going on. First I had to travel to South Carolina at the end of May for my best friends wedding. He's from Oklahoma but his new wife is from there, so that's where they had the wedding. Then a week after that I had to travel to east Texas to visit my grandparents and show them my new pump (that I got on May29th). Then after that my sister was moving to Colorado Springs so we were having her going away party on the 4th of July and she left the day after. About a week before that my mom calls me and asks me to travel to Colorado with her to help her drive my sister and brother-in-laws car and dog up a week after they moved up there and found a place to live (high gas prices prevented them from going up sooner to find a house. They decided once they got there, they weren't coming back). And now I have to travel back to East Texas to visit my grandfather who is dying of cancer. And in the middle of all of this, insurance isn't paying for part of my pump treatment. Go figure.
So let me back up some. I went to my new endo at the first of May and decided on pump therapy, which is great. I love it. Then I got the pump on May 29th and then had a follow-up visit for the pump on June 12th. I got a call while in Colorado from MiniMed that my insurance had approved me for the CGMS but wasn't paying 100% of it (like my CDE had told me they would in the beginning) and that I would need to shell out $176 for it. So I start freaking out because my husband and I don't have extra money like that. I've been out of a job for 4 months and he's a school teacher. And I'm thinking about how gas was costing $4 a gallon at the time and that I still had to drive home from Colorado, drive to East Texas and then drive to Orlando for a much needed vacation in September. THEN when i get home I have a bill from my doctor's office for $325 for office visits that my insurance didn't see the need to pay for. Now, here's where it gets a little better. My grandparents (my dads parents) have always told me that they would pay for anything that would make my life better as a diabetic. So when I was told I would have to pay $1,800 for the pump, I called them. They gladly gave me the money and I couldn't thank God enough to have them in my life. Well, I FINALLY got the bill for the pump today, and it was actually only $1,500 that I owe, not $1,800. So, I can pay the office bill. HOWEVER, I really don't want to go in for CGMS training if my insurance isn't going to want to pay for it. It's just insane. And then I got some letter giving me some weird dates which makes me think that I have to go in for CGMS training before August 10th for them to pay for it, but I'm not really sure. Insurance companies are out to confuse everyone, I swear.
And then in the middle of all this, we find out that my moms dad is dying of cancer, and will probably be gone by September. He's been sick for about a year now and nobody really knew why, but he complains about little things all the time so it's hard to tell when he's really sick and when he isn't. He's also very stubborn, so it's hard to deal with him. But a few weeks ago one of his neighbors was truly concerned about him and called my mom to let her know that he hadn't gotten out of bed in 2 days....let's back up some...When I went back in the middle of June to see them he looked very sick. He's lost a lot of weight, which is concerning to me. He's a very tall man, but has always had a "belly." He's never been tall and thin in my memories of him. So when we saw him in June is very weird (I hadn't seen him since Thanksgiving). So when my mom found out that he hadn't gotten out of bed she made my grandma take him the hospital. They had to call for an ambulance because he couldn't get out of bed to even get into the car..somebody had to go in for him. When he was in the hospital they finally found secondary cancer in his liver. He's had several different tests done over the last year that led the doctor to believe that the primary cancer was not in his heart, lungs, or colon. After reading about his acid reflux and smoking for 50 years, he decided that it had to be in his esophagus. So once they did a scope down his throat, they didn't have to go very far to find the primary. My mom had to go last weekend to help my grandma with everything, and me and some of my sisters are going this weekend because my cousin will also be there. We're going partly to tell him goodbye, but mainly to help out my Grandma. She had a stroke back in 2001 and since Grandaddy is so stubborn, he wouldn't put her in physical therapy to help her get back her strength. So in all of him being sick, she really is doing so much better. She still can't drive and feels weird asking people to take her to the store, so we're going to help her with little things like that. And it's good for us to be there. I think it helps her stay happy, so therefore, he stays happy. We can't take my dog so my husband is staying home with him. So it will just be their original grandkids there this weekend.
It's been really tough. Up until this point, all 4 of my grandparents have been alive and healthy. Going crazy, of course, but otherwise healthy. And as mean as he could get sometimes, he is hilarious. Out of both my grandfathers, definitely my favorite.
Not that my insurance company would care, but I feel like calling them and yelling at them that I can't deal with their crap right now, that my grandaddy is dying and I need a little space right now.
My husband has been great threw all of this. Even though he yelled at me the other day that I needed to get a job. He realized what he had done the second he said it, but it was too late. I let him have it. I've never screamed louder at him. But it helped because it was the first time I really realized just how upset about Grandaddy I actually was.
Okay, I guess that's all the ranting I need to do for now. It helps to get things out.