First day on the pump...sort of

so today my Diabetic educator from the pump company came over, got me all educated-hooked up to a saline solution, and left. it happened so quickly. i was left sitting at the kitchen table, completely encompassed by books, manuals, plastic wrappings, pump supplies, meter supplies, old insulin pens, my old meter, alcohol swabs, the whole shebang. i immediately felt (excuse the ridiculousness of the following cliche), impending doom. i began weeping and basically having an anxiety attack.

my educator, after i had called back, assured me that when they came back for a second time, to start me off on insulin in a few days, when i had gotten used to the pump, that i might feel a little less overwhelmed. but i cant imagine. i feel like i am drowning in a sea of calculations, math (which i am absolutely terribly at and have no grasp of whatsoever!), and this painful little thingy sticking out of my belly. and on top of my slight emotional breakdown, i had to ask my educator...so.....what do you do with the pump when your...you know....messing around. [what?! its a valid question. lol.] so she explained the three S's...in front of my mum. (VERY embarrassing, but i will say i was like..nooo i believe in no premarital relations gahhh, i just wanted to know about messing around lol. slow down lady!] but anyways im still extremely anxious about the whole pump thing. apparently being on the pump- i require a whole heck of a lot-less insulin, then i did when i was using my pens. its still a hard concept for me to grasp. when i needed 2 units of a correction shot in the old days, now i only need.2? it seems like such an insignificant amount.

my mom and my friends are all perfectly healthy and completely do not understand my anxiety, fear, overwhelm-ness (yes not a word, blah blah blah), and how i always like to know when i will be eating so i can have enough time to take my meds. i honestly wish i had a friend to turn to, who was also diabetic, so they could empathize not just sympathize. sometimes i need more than just" everythign will be okay", i need" everythign will be okay, trust me, I've been there before". that would be very helpful and calming.

but i suppose that's why i joined this website! >/body>

Views: 9

Comment by diabeticidol 94 on July 29, 2008 at 7:26pm
Hello! I am here for you. I know what your going thourgh. It is alot to handle at first.What insulin pump are you using? Mine is minimed722. And her name is Pumpy she is purple. She was born in feb of this year.Dont sweat the math part. I was worried about that to not being a math fan. Because there is on my pump its called bolus wizard she is really alot of help and calutes my insulin after i put my numbers in. Which is a big help to me. But I DO HAVE TO ADD MY CARBS INTO IT.But after time i know it with out looking on the nutriation facts. You might want to pick up the caloie king book. It has every kind of food in it. And pick up pumping insulin its very helpful. I know you are overwelmed right now with info. But it does get better. And beleive you will never want to go back to mdis after pumping. Life is good. Well Best of luck...... And never give up. The awards are AMAZING!! MY LAST A1C WAS JUST5.5. You can do it just have faith. Take care diabeticidol94
Comment by Cody Turner on July 29, 2008 at 8:48pm
I am on the minimed 722. Mine is clear and named Ophelia. I am about to get the cgms that goes with it. Thinking Hamlet to name it. It will get easier in time. I know the feeling of being overwhelmed with it all. I have been on the pump for about 4 months and my A1C is 6. Just give yourself sometime to get adjusted to this new part of your diabetic life and you will wonder how did I make it without this before.
Comment by Marie B on July 30, 2008 at 4:56am
You're going to love the flexibility the pump gives you. I know it's scary at first, but it will soon become second nature. I've been pumping since 1991, and recently got a new model with more features, and I was scared to start on it, too! Please keep in touch here, there are so many kind and helpful people who know what it's like!

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