Okay, so I try to avoid candy as much as possible, because of "bathing suit" season, but last night my boyfriend and I decided to watch a movie, for some reason I let him choose which one (regretting it), so I had some candy. Besides "bathing suit" season, my one big problem with candy is that the carb count is never quite what it says. For instance, 2 sour straws will raise my sugar much higher than they should according to the nutritional information, so I always have to bolus more. Unfortunately, I am not known for guessing well (although guessing probably should be avoided in the first place). Last night though, I guessed and checked two hours later with a racing pulse. Oh, was I surprised. I wasn't low; I wasn't high. I was at a perfect 95! I truly do not think I have ever been more proud of myself, which is kind of sad.
Okay, so I have a point. I realized that one of my biggest emotional roadblocks is my constant fear of what my BS will be. I cannot stand getting a bad reading, and I really beat up on myself for it. I literally stressed the whole time while eating my movie candy and completely defeated the purpose of its enjoyment. So, I have decided to turn a new leaf. I will continue to eat healthy, work out for too many hours a day, but when I get my candy, I will bolus and then enjoy it. I will no longer beat myself up for accidental highs, especially when its not even my fault (pump malfunctions). I have a completely new outlook on my readings, and now maybe I won't be so upset all the time. I cannot belive I couldn't see past my fear of a bad reading, but I am glad I finally did. So, here is to today, a great day, and many more worry free days to come. ;)