Argh

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Comment by Andreina Davila on January 8, 2009 at 9:20am

Don't give up, Matt. You are not alone.

Comment by Laura on January 8, 2009 at 8:27am

I get you :) for 12 years I have battled, tried every diet, adjusted every day and so on. I know it has to be doing damage. What became more important then the perfect numbers was a better even line of BG. I can not do a low carb diet for health reasons so I live with the BG spikes so instead of shooting for perfect numbers I shoot for less swings. That in turn has helped me get better numbers all around. You are not alone.

Take some pressure off yourself keep your goal of better health but make some small goals. You are not diabetes you are so much more. If your fasting is awful just work on that and take the win when it is better. You need those wins otherwise all you see is how you fail. Find one thing work on that and take the win!

A pump may help I don't know but more then anything else exhale and realize that diabetes is a disease with no respect for anyone's life. No one has perfect BG all the time they would not be diabetic then. I can imagine seeing what your dad went through is seared in your mind as it would be for anyone but you are not the same.

All you can do is run a good race.
I'm in HB we are neighbors :)
be loved

Comment by Scott on January 8, 2009 at 8:20am

Hang in there, Matt. I was diagnosed when I was 7, so I can definitely relate. Dredging up some not so pleasant memories. I'm 45 now (do you know I can actually remember the Marlboro Man commercials? Yea, my kids give a blank look to... /wink). I worry about all that stuff, always have and I guess I always will. No, it's not easy. Yes, you have to do it. But you know, we all have "WTF is going on" days, days where stuff just doesn't make sense

But like others have pointed out, look at what you are already doing. Testing alot, correcting when you need to. If you are already testing that much, you may be an excellent candidate for an insulin pump. Will it solve everything? No, it's not a silver bullet. It's a tool, a tool you can use to control your diabetes better and attain what seems to be your goal. A long, healthy life. That's a goal I think we're all chasing on here.

I had been self-managed for a number of years, hadn't really needed to see and endo. My A1c's ranged from 6.5 to 8.5, usually in the 7's. I went to the endo because I was having problems with high sugars, there were days that insulin just didn't seem to work. She recommended pumping. I started, and while I still have plenty of fine tuning to do, my numbers are starting level out. I don't see the extreme highs anymore.

There are still lots of options for you, you're young, haven't had D that long. Maybe a different insulin type. maybe taking your meal shots earlier. That's another thing an endo or CDE can be good for, those type of tricks.

Hang in there, brother! We'll be around
Scott

Comment by Jill Hartley on January 8, 2009 at 8:11am

listen doll don't give up hope, my main advice to record everything you eat, with your blood sugars and how much insulin you are taking for 4 days, make an appointment to see your endo or diabetes educator, or because you are not over the age of 18 yet i'd assume you have a pediatrician who would be able to help you out. what you probably need is some insulin tweeking, and they can help you organize all of this stuff, along with a nutritionist who will help you with your insulin carb ratio. You're going to be fine i promise, don't give up hope - diabetes is the hardest when you're in your teens, but the main thing to do is record EVERYTHING, then you can experiment and back track what is going on. I'm not sure if insurance covers the pump for you or not, but i know you would benefit, unfortunately i'm over the age of 18 so it doesn't cover me anymore and i have to pay :( i regret not getting it when i had the chance. Things will get better, there are so many people out there going through the same thing and there is a team of diabetes educators in your area i'm sure who will be able to help you, you're here to fight the shit out of this thing, and i can relate every little bit. Stay strong!

Comment by Marie B on January 8, 2009 at 7:19am

It sucks. It is like a monster bully. When you're getting along ok, it likes to come up behind you and sucker punch you and the hold you down and kick you in the face. Fight back.
First, look at what you are doing right: you are testing when you feel weird. It's better to catch the bad number now, than to not test because you don't want to see the bad number on the meter. It's a number, it's not you. Take a correction bolus and go onward. I think the next thing I would do is have a pad of paper or notebook and write everything down for a while (insulin, exercise, food, mood, sleep, and how you calculated the bolus/carb). This way you and your team can evaluate trends. I know full well that sometimes it seems there is reason for the bad numbers, but sometimes there is and it takes someone else to spot the trend. And the more info you have written down, the better. You are young, and diabetes can change a lot when you are growing into adulthood. It's not your fault, Matt. I can see you are trying! Please keep us posted, we are all here for you whenever you need us!

Comment by Linn on January 8, 2009 at 5:33am

Matt I can sooooooo relate to what you are saying. Seems I eat right and still go high much of the time. But don't give up! Fight this even though it seems like much of the time it's a losing battle. I know it's depressing but look into your carb ratio like preta said and another thing I recently found out I was not doing to keep my sugars low, drink lots of water. I hadn't been doing that and think my sugars were staying out of whack. Also what sohair said about checking into getting a pump.

Comment by Preta on January 8, 2009 at 4:20am

Maybe you and your doctor should re-evaluate your Carb ratio and the amount of long acting insulin you take.
We all get in the dumps, I just started the pump almost two months ago and I am still having issues with highs. I know it takes some time to adjust, but I still get down. Especially when its been almost 18yrs of this.
But it is not going away and we have to make the best of it and work at it.

It will be fine, make a change. Take care.

Comment by Sohair Abdel-Rahman on January 8, 2009 at 3:17am

Have you thought of having a pump?
Think positive,you are going to be fine.