I'm trying to decide if I'm a bolder diabetic now, or if I was a bolder diabetic when I was in high school and college. Back then I was on multiple daily injections and drew up my shots right there at the cafateria table. I'd catch the weird looks people would give me and give them a smile and stab the needle into my arm for all to see.
Now, I've been on a pump for 3 years. It really doesn't seem like it's been that long. And I find myself trying to find new and better places to hide my pump. I still whip out my meter anywhere and everywhere, but the only time I show off my pump is if someone notices it and asks me a question about it.
At work, I try to keep my blood sugar lows as low key as possible. I don't want my co-workers to think I don't take care of myself because I do.
Maybe my problem is I don't want to feel obligated to educate everyone I come into contact with about diabetes and all that goes with it. I don't want to have to explain to the guy at Barnes and Noble that a book on Gestational Diabetes won't help me because I have type 1 and I need a book on pregnancy for type 1 diabetics. I don't want to explain to my dad how my blood sugar can be low when I just finished eatting a plate full of spagetti. I don't like having to tell my boss that I'll need a longer lunch because I need to run home and grab the extra infusion set I left sitting on my counter. I don't want to have to explain to airport security that the weird items they see when they scan my backpack are infusion sets, insulin, test strips and lancets and not pieces to an explosive device.
I don't want to explain to my type 2 co-workers about the differences in our treatment regiments or the fact that I can have a more flexible diet than they can because I have the option of increasing my insulin dose to cover an occassional cookie.
Can you be a bold diabetic without being a diabetic educator?
That's the question I'm asking myself these days.