So, yesterday it was 8 years since I was diagnosed with the big D. It still feels like it was yesterday. These last 8 years have proved to be some hard ones. The diabulimia started almost immediately after my diagnosis. I can't believe that it has been so long...I feel like I have so much to prove to so many people right now. I'm trying so hard to get better. It's so hard though. This is what I have known for the last 8 years, and it's hard to change.

I hate my insurance company. What do they know? I felt like if I went back into treatment for awhile it would help me, but now I have to do it on my own with my treatment team and it's proving to be almost an impossible task. I hate my life right now. And I hate diabetes. All I want to do is cry. I'm trying to empower myself though. I want to do the Tour de Cure and start getting more involved with the ADA. Maybe this will help me get better? Maybe it''ll be the kick in the butt that I need. I just don't get why it has to be so hard?