a little self pity, a little hope. sometimes it helps with the nausea.

Hi everyone! just going through some stuff tonight and found some blurbs I had written down over the years... thought some of you would relate so I thought I would share them! Some are things I have said to family, friends and complete strangers! Some things have just made me feel better to say outloud or jot in a note to self for later. I guess we all have a way to deal with this major malfunctioning of a vital organ that brings us together!

test strip in the heater vent. a funny way to start the day. o wait. thats my life.

you are not allowed to feel sorry for me. that's my job, I give the needles. I feel nauseas if I am 220. BS should = BULL S*&%. but it does not in my life.

a crappy day to start the day. o wait. thats my life.

PLEASE do not tell me I can't have the carrot cake with cream cheese frosting. I should be the one to decide if that's a good idea. since you told me it's not, I think I it sounds like the best idea I have had all day.

will it kill me? not immidiately. but you know what? that pasta might do the job. and those mashed potatos. and that stuffing. and that oatmeal. and that... should you be eating that? please. take it easy. step away from the ice cream bar.

I don't want you to judge me and ask what I ate today. THATS why I test alone. cuz sometimes, the numbers don't add up the way they should. AND if I said I had salad and I was still HIGH? would you believe me?

I try. I get frustrated. I get up at 4am with a number of 36 and I have to stay awake to deal with it. O. wait. thats my life.

I spend my day thinking about how my actions now will affect me 2,3,4,8 hours from now.

I know you care. I know you worry. treating me like a child makes me feel less in control. I need to be in control of something.

my fingers are callused. my belly is scarred. retinopathy on the rise. type 2 in the news.

you have diabetes? You're not even fat. step away from the stereotypes. I don't have that type of betes.

( there it is. I little self loathing helps with staying sane)

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Comment by Teena on December 4, 2010 at 6:51pm
I hear yah sister! Yes, I can relate... Hang in there...For tomorrow...it may be a better day! =)
Comment by Tracy Malloy on December 4, 2010 at 8:32pm
thanks Teena! it will be!


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