As I am typing this I am listening to, what became my daughters ring tone and "her song", If i die young by The band Perry. Its a beautiful song about a life cut short.
thats my story: my daughter was diagnosed at the age of 12 with type one Diabetes. we all weere educated about it and she began her journey of being insulin dependant. she started high school and learned quickly how to make herself thin and stay thin by manipulating het insulin. on and off for all four years of high school she would end up in the hospital with DKA and sugars sometimes of 1200. always dangerously high. They would bring her back to normal and she would spin out of control again and that went on and on.I will keep this story to the illness only, not what it did to all of the family or why she was doing it.
She graduated from high school and started college and the cycle continued. Critical high sugars, she was non compliant and being hospitalized several times a month.This pattern went on for years.About 6 years ago she started showing signs that her body was becoming destressed and her functions began to shut down.She started getting Mersa, and had Gastreoparisis so badly she lived in the bathroom on or over the toilet for three years.she was unable to digest food at all for about 3 years and didnt get a feeding tube until about 2 months before she past away.the Hospital visits became more and she coukd no longer work or really leave the house.She had infection after infection and surgery after surgery and her fight and her will to live was beyond belief. the last two years she was in the hospital more than she was home.she was in kidney failure and had to start dialysis.she had no immune system left and the infection came with every procedure they did. they put a tube in, then it got infected, all access for dialysis failed.They put a port in, it got infected.they had to keep removing and yet she had to have them so they had to go back in. that was some of the worst suffering I have evcer seen. Sometimes a surgery a day for a week.She finally at the end had five strands of infection and it was now covering her heart. Nothing was working anymore and it was just surgery put it in, surgery take it out.dialysis took her to skin and bones and even the feeding tube couldnt stay in due to infection. she starved for months, they tried so hard top help her but it was a monster eating her alive. She called me one day and said I cant watch the clock go around one more time here, I want to come home. She said she would continue dialysis and take her meds but she was ready to leave. We had one of the most beautiful weeks of her life. The peace and strength she had was a gift I will treasure. To have watched her suffer for so long and to see her content was amazing.She was up and walking around and a week after being home she got up to go in the bathroom and her heart just stopped.
In the song named above is a verse that says "lord make me a rainbow so I can shine down on my mother and she will know Im safe withyou when she stands under my colors" before she passed away she dedicated that verse to me on facebook. I have seen more rainbows in the last 4 months than I have seen in my entire life. Its another gift from her. thanks for letting me share

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Comment by Pastelpainter on December 7, 2012 at 8:08pm

Teri, you have my heartfelt sympathies. It must be dreadful to see a daughter suffer like that. Hugs, Maureen

Comment by Shawnmarie on December 8, 2012 at 8:19am

Thanks so much for sharing your story with us, Teri. So much pain, but also so much love.

Comment by Clare on December 8, 2012 at 7:31pm

I'm sitting here crying, for her pain and for her suffering, and for her love and for all that you went through. I am so sorry for your loss and I thank you for sharing the story of strength.

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