Have you reached a state of appeasement with Diabetes? Dictionary.com defines appeasement as:
To bring to a state of peace, quiet, ease, calm, or contentment; pacify; soothe: to appease an angry king.
To satisfy, allay, or relieve; assuage: The fruit appeased his hunger.
To yield or concede to the belligerent demands of (a nation, group, person, etc.) in a conciliatory effort, sometimes at the expense of justice or other principles.
That is a tall order for any person to accomplish with a chronic ailment. A state of appeasement is not something I have ever or I doubt will ever reach with my diabetes, or any of my chronic ailments. It is true I might learn to live with the disease; to bring a state of peace, quit, ease, or calm seems to be the most difficult to me. So, if I cannot reach a state of appeasement how do I go from day to day.
I suppose another state that might explain my relationship with diabetes is to coexistence with the disease. Dictionary.com defines coexistence as:
To exist together at the same time or in the same place
To exist together in peace
I am not exactly for certain that is the word that describes my relationship either. Is it possible to exist together in peace with something you hate? Well maybe so and maybe not. I do not know for certain. I have had diabetes for 39 years, and unlike some that I admire on this web site I just cannot come to a state of peace with the disease. Perhaps, what I have is a state of equilibrium. Merriam Webster online defines equilibrium as:
A state in which opposing forces or actions are balanced so that one is not stronger or greater than the other
A state of emotional balance or calmness
I think that is where I am. I would say I am closest to being in equilibrium with diabetes. I mean my Blood sugar rises I correct it, it falls I correct it. It remains within my target, I leave it alone. Ronald Regan might term my relationship with diabetes as trusting but verifying.
Ok so why is it important to name my relationship with Diabetes? For one, when I name it I can confront it in my own mind on equal terms. It is almost like the old statement that if you cannot measure it you cannot deal with it. In this case I cannot measure my position with Diabetes, but naming it makes it easier to somehow deal with my emotions. Knowing these things does not make my life easier or more difficult. What it does is bring me closer to myself, closer to how I feel, and closer to that raw place where dealing with inner daemons is possible.
No, I will never reach appeasement with Diabetes or Rheumatoid arthritis, but I strive to reach coexistence. Each time I name how I feel I acknowledge my progression. After all I started with hate, so at least I have more forward a bit.
What is your relationship with Diabetes? Can you name it? Should you name it? Maybe I am strange in how I feel about naming the disease. But I think not. I am open to comments and I am especially open to hear of you relationship to Diabetes, maybe if I hear it, I can move closer to a higher acceptance.