Checking In.
Hello to my tudiabetes friends. I haven't been visiting this site much at all! I can't even recall the last time I logged in. For those of you who know anything about my story, you know that I lost my insulin pump, (it broke and I was unexpectedly w/o insurance) and I had to go back on shots, which I hadn't been on for 10 years!! Booooooooo! I'm still taking shots. Lots and lots a day. I do a shot of Lantus in the AM and another at night, and shoot up after I eat something...with Humolog (2-3 additional times a day).
I was living in Oregon with my husband and have moved back to southern California where I was originally from. Lonnnng story - short - I was w/o a job for 6 months...went to clinics to get free supplies for my diabetes, meanwhile my husband and I suffered incredibly with our finances. (I'm sure you can imagine.) We felt like we were called to move back to southern California where I knew I had an amazing job waiting for me (part time w/FULL benefits!), and my family was all here. So I moved back in February...back in with the parental units as Nick, my husband, stayed in Oregon, moved in with his aunt and is continuing to work up there, making great money.
I got health insurance in April, after not having it for about 6 months!! Praise the good LORD. Vials of insulin are no longer $25-$100 and I will be soon be attempting to get an insulin pump again. I haven't seen an Endocrinologist in well over a year and am TERRIFIED of what my A1C will be. I've also gained 50lbs in 2 years and feel absolutely discussed with myself. I'm SO terrified I've canceled an appointment I had with him b/c I was so scared of what I'd be told. Insecure much? I think so! =( But I have to start somewhere, right? I have to live for tomorrow and not think about yesterday.
On July 16th I have an appointment with my old Endo and I'm sure I'll get rep-remanded some, but that's what I need, and that's how he works, so bring it. I guess I'll let you know how it goes.
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Comment by Katherine on July 5, 2009 at 7:51am -
Josephine - wow, so encouraging...in a weird way, that I'm not the only one who's canceled an appointment with a doc just because of my own selfish fears. Thank you for your encouraging words! And yes - we ARE all doing the best we can do to deal with this blasted diabetes. Thanks again for your support!
Kristin! Hello again! Yes - baby steps - one step at a time! I'd love to catch up with you and see how you are doing! It was great to see your face (userpic, haha!) on here. It was comforting, in a way! Hope you're well, Kristin.
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Comment by Kristin on July 5, 2009 at 3:51am - Hi Katherine! Thanks for updating us on how you are doing! I think it is always best to take things one step at a time. Let us know how it goes!
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Comment by Josephine on July 5, 2009 at 12:15am - Hello Katherine, I used to do the same thing, I'd cancel appt. because I was afraid of what the doctors would say. They seemed to always comment on a few pounds here and there, so you aren't alone. Don't be hard on yourself, we are all trying our best to deal with this, even after having it for 20 yrs. Maybe you could chat with a nurse or one of the diabetic team who could offer you some support. Nobody has the right to judge you, don't forget that. Go to your next appt. with a positive attitude, it'll make the world of difference. Good luck.
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Comment by Katherine on July 4, 2009 at 9:28pm
- Thanks Suzanne! What a great way to put it. Sheesh! Sometimes you have to hear it from someone else, huh? Thank you for your encouragement! It's much appreciated. I will definitely keep you posted on things to come! ...and YES - I WANT TO PUMP AGAIN! =)
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Comment by Suzanne on July 4, 2009 at 7:40pm - Hang in there, life throws us all for a loop sometimes. What is important here is that you want to get back on track and pump again. You want consistency in how you take care of yourself now that you have insurance again. Take the endo's criticisms and use them to learn how to get back on track, rather than to beat up yourself. You can do this, remember that diabetes care is a marathon, not a sprint. So the last little while of not being able to take the best care of yourself was just a part of the marathon that you struggled with. Now you can get your stride and keep going from here! Let us know how we can help you, lots of us have situations like this and gotten back on track.
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