The following letter was sent by me on the morning of December 13, 2012, to my sons' teachers and the school nurse. I just happened upon it a few minutes ago while cleaning out old documents from my computer, and I had to share it. Some of you may have read my "coconut tentacles" post. This was the immediate fall-out from the events that led to the whole coconut discussion. Enjoy.
I just wanted to apprise you of a little matter that happened last night. Eric, as you know, has been out of school with a bad cold. So last night, he had a hot bath as a way of helping his symptoms. Nate decided to join him in the bath (which he often does) and they were horsing around, and, well, to put it bluntly, Nate kicked Eric in the scrotum pretty hard. Hard enough to displace one testicle, so we wound up in the hospital. NO WORRIES, Eric is fine, but we had to get an ultrasound to ensure nothing was twisted or ruptured.
The reason I'm telling you all this is as follows:
1) We had to explain to Eric what was going on, and the phrase Mark used was, "We have to take pictures of your coconuts to make sure they're not broken." Eric, God bless him, decided to use exactly that phrase... repeatedly... to inform the hospital staff of why he was gracing them with his presence. I thought it best to alert you (Ms D---- and Mrs S----) so you would know to change the subject should Eric start talking about his (or anyone else's) coconuts and pictures taken thereof.
2) By sheer coincidence, this happened a day after we had one of our horses gelded, a procedure that we have explained fairly openly to our sons. They do live on a farm, and removal of testicles is something that happens regularly on farms. So both of them know the proper terminology. Nate was a bit concerned that his accidental injury of his brother might result in testicle removal. I've assured him that this is not the case. I also have suggested that he not discuss this matter, or the gelding of the horse, at school. But he still might bring it up. I would appreciate it if nobody freaks out because my children know the word "testicle" and use it appropriately, by which I mean in appropriate medical context if not necessarily appropriate social context.
I hope you (Ms D----/Mrs W----) do not have to deal with any unfortunate social contexts today, but this is why I'm warning you: testicles have been under much discussion here at the farm lately.
We were all up pretty late last night so I'll be bringing the boys to school myself later today. I don't want them to miss out on breakfast, and Eric especially needs his full night's sleep.
One part I left out was that, probably partly as a result of the injury stress, his blood sugar was 432 when we got to the ER, and I had to give him a shot. He wasn't happy about that. As we walked into the ultrasound room, he turned to the ultrasonographer and said, solemnly, "I am gonna have pictures of my coconuts but no shots, because I already HAD a shot and I will go loooo-oooow." Then he pulled down his pants & undies and stood there with his genitals out, waiting for the party to start. The US tech looked at me and said, "He's got no problem letting it all hang out, does he?"
I wish you could've lived it with me. Seriously. Eric wandering through Maine Med discussing his marbles with anyone who would listen was hysterical. Almost worth staying up till midnight for.