I am new at blogging just like I am new to diabetes so I hope I am doing this right.
My about to be 4 yr old daughter Ava began showing all the symptoms this past fall. They became more and more evident in December and January. February I brought her for blood work. I really thought there was just no way she'd have diabetes, like as if that could never happen "to us". Ava had been hooked on her pacifier and I had finally put an end to it, soon after she started drinking all the time. I really wanted to believe that she changed her pacifier addiction over to a "cuppy" addiction. When the Dr. called and told me the lab results and that we should see an endroconoligist I was upset and but had no idea how drastically life would change. The next day we were admitted into the hospital through the e.r. and within 20 minutes of being there my little angel was being poked and prodded what seemed like constantly. It didn't take me very long to hate diabetes. When they gave her her first dose of insulin in the e.r. , that's when it hit me. Ava needs this insulin to basically live and will need it forever and this is real, it's really happening, it's not a nightmare. This was on Feb 8th. I am a student nurse, when this happened, I withdrew for the semester, there was just simply no way. I am still in shock, and I often feel like I am mourning. I'm mourning her old happy go lucky, shot free no finger pricking self. I am mourning the days of when the biggest triumph of the day was the argument over what shirt matches what tutu. I am constantly worried about her numbers. I am so worried that in her sleep she will drop and won't wake up from it and I'll get up in the morning and find her lifeless. I am up several times a night checking her, if not testing her, checking her temp and skin pallor and breathing pattern. I am scared for her future...will she have complications? Will she get depressed and worn down from the day in and out demands of this disease???? Will she be a responsible teenager when the time comes for her to manage this? I have come to the conclusion that I am going to be a nervous wreck for many years to come. People say it will get better.......but how? When will we ever hit a "good patch" when I don't have to worry about her in the middle of the night? NEVER! I am so sorry if I sound negative but I just have to get these things off my chest. It's just so weird, because throughout the day, I am like this carb counting shot giving blood checking machine that has flashbacks every so often of how life was 2 yrs ago or even 6 weeks ago and I get that feeling like someone just took your breath away....but in a bad way. And night time is the worst, I think about all this in my free time since I no longer have my studies, I think about her, when I should sneak in her room again and prick her, is she okay, how will she wake up? It's enough to make a person crazy. So here I am...I am SO thankful I found this website. We have no one, or at least no one that we know of in our family histories that is a diabetic. Nor do we have any friends with it. Signing up here all of a sudden feels like a new home for me. Especially since no one I know personally can relate to me or Ava. I would love to hear everything and anything from anybody! Moms please reach out, and I would love some tips ....some great food ideas would be so helpful! I am new to the whole food thing and I would love to know what foods are best at keeping the kids from going up too much. I am noticing that even though I am covering the food or carbs with the proper amt. of insulin, she sometimes still rockets after eating certain things. Just wanna say thank you in advance for reading this and replying if you do ...and I am so happy to be here and meet you all :)