Okay so I am having a bad week. I am stressed out and not eating well. I am also not taking my insulin like I should. So of course my Bg are 300 or higher(i Know I will take my insulin tomorrow I promise) and I am at my wit;s end. Normally I would not blog this and keep it to myself, but today I have to write this down. I am not a whiner or a self pity party person. I am stressed due to my child's CRCt test that her school has done a horrible job preparing her for and there is a good chance she will fail and report third grade. I know that if she was instructed correctly she would have no problem as she never has any year before. Then I am stressed about money, and I am stressed about this stupid Diabetes. I am sick of insulin shots and meters. I am just sick of it all. I never dreamed I would be on insulin at 31 and i never dreamed I would be feeling this way. There are so many of you who have had this so MUCH LONGER and are fine. I know that this is my ball game and I am the one who makes the moves. i think that the full reality of this has indeed settled in. Having to inject when eating out tsk.. hate it. Run to the bathroom for said injection..whoops didn't dose enough bs too high correction. I could go on, but there is no need as you all are right there too. I was in the Marine Corps. for 8 years and here I am in denial..what? I get tired of people asking did you take your insulin, how are your bs, oh and are you okay? I'm not dying I just have a chronic illness that will never go away and my own system attacking my b cells no I'm normal, oh wait what is normal? My kids having to be taught what to do if I have a low and can't help myself. My kids wanting me to take there BS to make sure they are okay and don't need shots like mommy. My husband doing his best to deal with all of this, and my poor mom sickened by her daughter being on insulin. Lot to handle. I think my kids are the best example of help. they help me move fwd and live. I just have to stop being in denial. That my friends is easier said than done.

Views: 13

Comment by Courty1 on March 30, 2011 at 6:14pm
Stardust, I think most of us here will agree that it's easier said than done!!! I have been diabetic for 30 yrs now and I will be the 1st to tell you that I am NOT fine! I have gone through many ups and downs in my time and have definetely learned that it is not easy, not cut and dry or black and white. We are all different and our bodies react to different treatments and therapies in their own way, yet as I continue to read blogs, comments and discussions in this community, I find that many of us can share the same experiences, thoughts and feelings. I joined tudiabetes for support, friendships and diabetes news. I am getting all of that and it has helped me tremendously with my battle to get back on track and stay there this time. I can empathize with all of your frustrations and I hope you find relief with this trying time. Remember not to beat yourself up or let your mother for that matter and when you need a friend, jump on line!! Good luck!
Comment by Catherine on March 31, 2011 at 4:26am
Sadly I know just how you feel; sometimes life just gets on top of you...my life feels like that too at the moment. I have been off work for three weeks now, initially with the flu which made me feel really lousy and sent my BS sky high and then last weekend I ended up in Accident & Emergency in a state as I appear to have blacked out and cracked my head open, suffered concussion and bit my tongue badly. I thought that things were settling down until last night when I cut my thumb badly when trying to change a lightbulb which meant another trip down to A&E....didn't get home until 04:00am and, not suprisingly I am feeling exhausted now...to make matters worse I banged my head again when getting into the car this morning so I have a horrendous headache...things can only get better...please!
Comment by Stardust31 on March 31, 2011 at 5:07am
WOW! That is a lot to have happen! I'm so sorry that you have been through the ringer! I hope that you feel better and all becomes right again! I always love to meet another Catherine and your name is spelled the same as mine! At any rate thank you for stopping by. Courty1 Thanks for your response. I do so love this community and I always remind myself that someone has it a lot worse than myself. ugg I have to go to the dentist today yay..not.
Comment by Brian (bsc) on March 31, 2011 at 5:31am
Well, you really do need to admit life has thrown you a curve. Maybe you had diabetes before, but you could tell yourself that you could just take a pill and be ok. But now, it is different. You have type 1. It is like being diagnosed all over again. When I was diagnosed, I set me into a funk that took months to work through. Allow yourself to have these feelings. I like to think of it as grieving with stages of D'Nial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. It is ok to go through this, but in the end you know what needs to be done. You were in the Corp. When you get knocked down, you just need to get right back up and get back into it. These are just obstacles along the way and you need to remind yourself that you will persist through these difficult times and in the end you will persist and it will be ok.
Comment by Marie B on March 31, 2011 at 1:46pm
bsc is right. Also, it's not your fault. You can do it. I'm glad your husband is supportive. I'm sorry about your mom. Things will get better, they will. glad you're here with us.
Comment by karebear1966 on March 31, 2011 at 7:49pm
Look at your kids loving little faces...kiss them.. then go take your meds!!!! xoxoxoxox
Comment by Hismouse on March 31, 2011 at 8:46pm
Awe, those bumps in the road will even out, you just have to be the driver of your life, and remember your little children are watching Mommy:) so relax, and take you Insulin, its important, very...to your health, and to teach your little ones too:)
I am a big whinner when I get my shots, my better half gives them to me most times. I feel the pain,, I am very pain sensitive. SO some days I whin, I say, why me, and say its not fair, but it is real, and I don't want to have to take more, or have serious complications. So I get tough and deal with it. I know how you feel, when everything seems on fire in our lives our Diabetes seems easy to try and forget. But the ones asking if you have taken your meds, or if your Ok, they Love and care for you:) And your Mom, she needs to be able to rest and know your taking care of yourself. You would want that for your child to.
When we eat out, I give my shot right at the table,, foooie on others, if they don't like it..Its easier on me.

I hope this week ends on a Happy note for you and you gain a better outlook on your needs for yourself:)

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