I think it's time for me to share my story.
I want to let people know about a problem I am suffering with, so I can gain support and also help other people that are suffering from this also.
I have Diabulimia!
It has took me a long time to admit to this, and trust me, it isnt easy to do.
I discovered by accident that I could loose weight by not taking any insulin. I won't go into to much detail about this now but if youd like to know then please ask.
It started off mildly at first, if i was eating something high in calorise, something i knew i shouldnt really be eating I wouldnt take my insulin. Then I started not taking my insulin with meals and letting myself run high for a while afterwards, then take my bolus to bring me back down. I didnt feel bad doing this at the time because I started to slowly loose weight. I'm not going to lie I was happy about this. My friends would be constently dieting and going to the gym all the time to shead the pounts, and I was eating what I liked when I liked and loosing weight quicker then them. It was easy.
After a while I wasnt taking any insulin through the day at all, just my glargine at night before I went to bed. I felt sick at first but I started to get used to it.
I'd hide what I was doing from my parents, and I didnt check my BM's at all, basically because I knew I would be high. After about 6 months my Mam started to notice that I was loosing weight without any change to my diet. And a recent visit to the diabetes clinic for my annual check up showed that my weight went down alot more then I thought and my HB1c was very hight at 12.6. My parents started paying close attention to me the after that. They noticed that although I was ordering repeat prescriptions for my Glargine I wasnt ordering any for my insulin, and they'd never seen me check my blood or take my insluin with meals for a long time.
One day I forgot to take my glargine before I went to bed and ended up admitted to hospital for a week with DKA. That scared me, I knew I had a problem and I needed to do something about it to prevent this from happening again. But I couldnt stop. I tried, but I slipped back into my old habbits.
Then my parents pullled me about it they basically told me that they knew what I was doing and they wanted to help me stop. Of course they didnt understand fully, they didnt know what was going on in my head. Actually even I dont know whats going on in my head, I dont know why this is such an issue and why I cant just stop and do things properly.
I had another check up at the clinic a couple of days after this and that is when I finally told someone.
The clinic put my intouch with a psychiatrist for someone to talk to and try and find out why exactly I am doing this.
So heres to the start of a long recovery process.
If anyone is going through the same problem at the moment and would like someone to talk who knows exactly what you are going through then please contact me. I dont know of anyone else that is going through this and I would love the chance to speak to someone that properly understands me,