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This has been stuff that's on my mind lately about my diabetes.
Symptoms of high glucose and low glucose have blended into each other these past few months because I haven't been doing my best to put my health first. Taking on more than you can handle and being a diabetic is not smart and I'd love to say that I've learned my lesson but unfortunately, my calamitous October bled into a crazier November and I'm finally relaxing from all of the stress, mid December.
I don't want to self diagnose myself with a mood disorder. In fact, I don't want to blame my diabetes for any of my actions. I take full responsibility for what I say and what I do when my blood sugar is extremely low and I have no control over myself but here's the thing: It's a very thin line. Had I been paying attention to myself, I wouldn't have overshot. Had I been braver to just admit that I need a break, I wouldn't be seeing spots right now. Nor would I just have yelled at that lady for bumping into me. I confuse my behavior with a low blood sugar to actually be the person I am at a normal glucose.
Diabetes is a whirlwind disease but it doesn't have to be. I don't eat sugar. I'm primarily a meat girl and a carbs girl but the random moments when I do eat chocolate or what have you, I go off on a sugar high. This reminds me how far I've come. Sugary snacks were once my best friends and as my birthday approaches and I'm soon to be one year away from a quarter of a century old, I know I'm not the same spring chicken I once used to be and staying away from sugary snacks is one step in the right direction to a healthier lifestyle. That's what I aim for. Living as I would want my future children to live.
In these calamitous past months, one thing I did notice about my high and low glucose numbers is that they blend together but if I'm really paying attention, I can see a clear difference. When my blood sugar is low, I become philosophical and for lack of a better word, loose. As if, I can do anything I want to do and my body will take me there. When I blood glucose is high, I feel tight and grumpy. The world is terrible and I'm trapped where I'm standing.
It always helps to know.