Do You know that guy?
Last week I had encounters with two people (both offline don’t get paranoid) that were so frustrating. They approach you with a question or an issue about diabetes and when they ask you give your best answer. But that answer is not what they want to hear or they have already made up their mind. It drives me nuts. Really if you have made up your mind or you really don’t want my advice, why ask? Grrr.
In one case each question led to another which led back to the same question. Listen I will agree with you if it means you will stop asking. The problem is agreement is not an option. It just goes on and on in a continuous cycle. It is like a vortex, they are trying to suck you into. Like maybe misery loves company? I don’t know but it drives me absolutely bonkers.
It reminds me of labor negotiations a negotiator for the other side asked what I thought a Board or Council would do if a particular issue was proposed. I said in my opinion and, it is the best opinion I can offer, they will say hell no. This happened to be a tax increase in order to pay more in salaries. The negotiator then wanted to argue. Saying did you look at this and that and the other factors. I said wait hold on do you want my opinion or do wish to argue. You asked for my opinion now you can disregard it if you wish, I have no control over what you do with my opinion, but it is my opinion you asked for, correct? The person said well yes and proceeded to argue some more, I said wait, wait we never argue over opinions. Why would you? I am entitled to mine, you to yours. We can argue over facts, but you asked my opinion. That is solely mine.
The same is true when asking a diabetic a question about how to do something. A person asked me last week why I liked my Medtronic pump. I told her the reasons, and she started in with this business about the sensors not being accurate and the needles being too large etc. and didn’t I think Medtornic is outmoded. I said no I don’t think that. I like their customer service, 24 hour hotline, they have always bent over backwards to make sure I get supplies, and replacements and no the needles do not bother me one bit and as far as accuracy of the sensors, I cannot justify having two things on my belt like wearing a Dexcom.
Well she said you are wrong and you are not considering this and that and it became a round house discussion based solely on my opinion. I did not offer my opinion, it was asked, I would have been tickled to death to not give it, expect it was asked and frankly it is after all mine. I am entitled to my own opinion. It simply drives me nuts when things like this happen. It became obvious she had decided to get a Dexcom. Nothing wrong with that, I applaud her for doing it and frankly if the Dexcom were integrated into a pump and I did not have to carry two things around, I might do the same. But for goodness sakes I am not willing to carry two devices today even with my man purse (which by the way is awesome and a future blog in the making). Now maybe someday I will but when that day comes it will be my opinion that gets me there. Not someone else's.
Ok so the other question had to do with pump operation and the issue of temporary basal. I am not a big fan of using them. These days I am on low enough dose it is difficult for me to justify them. I mean look when your basal is 1.1 unit per hour a 20% reduction takes 0.2 units per hour off. I don’t really see that as normally worth the trouble. The doctor says at certain times and for short durations they might be helpful and yes I do know how to do them etc. Anyway a fellow who is 100 pounds lighter than me said well you don’t know the benefits. So he started rattling them off all of which I knew. Now If I were in a different situation I might rely on them more. Because of reasons of diet he was consuming about 1.5 times the calories and he works more than I.
I suppose, if my basal rate were more I might use them more. I listened politely, thanked him for the input and started to move on. However, he wanted to convince me to do what he is doing which is running 2 - 4 basal patterns depending on food intake and exercise. I was happy for him that he went to that effort, it was working for him and I applaud him for that choice. That is just not me. I eventually I had to remind him that he asked me about temporary basal. I told him what I do and why was it now incumbent upon him to tell me I could do it better?
I love new ideas, I really do, I think I embrace change reasonably well not perfectly, yes I am set in my ways sometimes. But it would be different if I asked him for advice. He asked me for consultation I did not ask him. I was happy discussing the weather, cars, kids, the stock market etc. I did not solicit or want or imply I needed diabetic advice. Again that turned into a situation that drives me nuts.
Ok enough with the rant. Maybe it is just me but in our community, we need to be respectful. When in chat or person, we (and yes I am guilty of this as well) need to be sure and not argue over an opinion. We also should not argue with answers to our issues. I believe this community and 99.9% of all diabetics offer their best opinion when asked. We are free to take it, disregard it or ask someone else. But for goodness sakes don’t argue about the response. Also don’t keep going time after time with the same questions. It is fine to ask many people, it is not fine to keep airing the same grievances about this or that like a whining child it simply wears out the people we are consulting.
Am I alone in my thinking, if so I will attempt to change my opinion maybe. Ok I confess probably not. By the way have you considered this or that? You seem wrong here with that etc. LOL