Reading through a few blogs and discussion threads today for essentially the first time, I have come to realize how late I am in entering the diabetes community. I have had T1 for 19 years, but have essentially been living 'alone' with diabetes for all these years. I have just wanted to fit-in and be as 'normal' as everyone around me. I have only had the goal of surviving the high & low blood sugars of each day. I am so ashamed right now that my A1C's all these years have been pretty much 8-9's. Here, this whole time I was thinking that 'all diabetics must have A1C's this high because being a diabetic is so time-consuming, it leaves little room for a 'normal' life. Everyone must be going through what I go through, it's near impossible to have great blood sugars without changing your lifestyle and eating habits significantly.'
I have had the wrong goal all these years. I have been in denial. My problem is I have never taken myself seriously enough to change these habits. Other people prioritize themselves and their health and I sit and watch them do that, not realizing I am doing the complete opposite. I was diagnosed at 9 years old out of the blue and have had emotional ups and downs since. For some time I would be rebellious and not care, some times I would want to buck up and get things on track. Lord only knows how much I have damaged my body all these years. I do see an Endocrinologist often, but clearly that self-motivation has been lacking.
I am stunned to see so many people say their A1C's are in the 5's and have been there for some time. This is a complete 180 to my thoughts that most diabetics are struggling with their A1C's. I really need to make my health & myself a priority regardless of whether I have to follow a schedule everyday and whether or not people around me understand that or not (mostly not). I think that has been my biggest hurdle. I am 'alone' and don't want to be more of an outcast. If I had a diabetic friend, that would help me feel a little more 'normal' and I'd have a buddy who can help me stay on track. I am married, and my husband is great, but no one knows what diabetes feels like like another diabetic.
Goodness, here's to hoping this epiphany brings good change to my life sooner than later.