Wow! God is good!
It's been about 2 1/2 years since I last saw an endo...
My last appointment was hard to even show up for. Then, when I did show up, horrible numbers in hand, begging for Chantix to help me quit smoking, hoping for a voice of reason, direction and encouragement to get back on track after a couple of really bad years (lost both parents-in-law and my own mother - all of whom were between the ages of 55 - 65 - in a three year time span and had NOT been a "good girl" diabetes-wise), all I got was a lecture that began with, "SO - three years ago, you decided to give up on your life, hm?" It got worse - complete with detailed descriptions of all the horrible ways I could die (all of which I'm very aware of - having seen my mother die in one of those many ways) - I was openly bawling when I left..
I finally got the courage to try again - a new endo - I heard she was nice and wouldn't yell at me...
She was WONDERFUL! Totally encouraging - stated that my 7.9 a1c was not SO bad - certainly needs improvement, but not horrible. Recommended the pump! (Which I'd been wanting, but other doctors had discouraged for whatever reasons) and put me on Symlin (sp?)... Did all the bloodwork and found that I have no liver or kidney damage - and my triglycerides are better.. (198)
I left feeling encouraged and hopeful. Why can't they ALL be like that? I guarantee I'll be much more successful if I feel that I can go to my doctor for support even when I'm not perfect... When people have other illnesses, doctors blame the ILLNESS - why is Diabetes so different? I'm not trying to escape my responsibility - but by the time I go to the endocrinologist, I'm looking to do better - not to know how badly I've screwed up. I know when I've screwed up - and I worry about it more than they can possibly imagine. I have a beautiful 7 year old and I want to be there for her a LOT longer than my mother was able to be there for me.
Thank God for encouraging words and a doctor who is willing to do something, rather than discourage.
Please, please, PLEASE - do not respond to this with comments about how AWFUL we diabetics are and how doctors are sick of dealing with those of us who are "noncompliant"... I know. I'm sure it is true - and I'd probably get discouraged too, if I had to deal with me and others like me... But, you know - I DO have to deal with me. Every day - good or bad - 23 years with the "D" with never one moment off for good behavior. I thank God for doctors who understand and for the tudiabetes community empathy and support. :)