It all began as a lousy Sunday afternoon. I thought my body was tired due to simple fatigue. But when the tiredness won't go away, I started to worry a bit. Having asked permission from my health insurance to visit the ER for a check-up, off I went to the hospital (coming from the shopping mall 10 kms away). I calmly told the nurse there that I was feeling tired, even after rest. So they had me lie down on the bed.


The doctor came in, asked me what I was feeling. After a few seconds of listening to my breathing sounds, the doctor and the nurse started running for the oxygen tank. Of course, I started to wonder. When they came back, I asked, "What's wrong with me?" And the nurse replied calmly, "You are are having a serious asthma attack.." I was not in the mood for being nasty or belligerent, not that day. All I could say was "ok", and let the medical professionals (a doctor, two nurses, and two respiratory therapists) do their thing. They had me sign some papers for my confinement (though I still wonder to this day how could I have been sane enough to be able to agree  to my admission even in sickness...), and off they brought me to my room, which had served as my home for five days.


Controlling my asthma was one thing, but for it to cause my glucose and my hypertension to escalate was another. My pulmonologist had to put me on steroids to control my asthma. Unfortunately, it caused my sugars to go way over 300. No wonder my cardiologist and diabetologist were having such a difficult time lowering down my blood sugar and blood pressure. I am not blaming anyone here; it's just that our office doctor told me that my ailments are "friends": If one goes on a party, so would the other.


What my doctor's did not know (save for my cardiologist) was I was going through one major emotional upset that time, running for two weeks then. That and the fact that I now have to be put on even stronger and more medication just drains the life and spirit out of me. I could have been so ready to as my cardiologist to just let me go, sign a HAMA*, continue with my current medication pre-confinement, and just enjoy life while I could, with what seems to be left of it. My body has already weakened, and this is one losing battle that I do not intend fighting further.


It's not that I don't want to live anymore, I just want to live the rest of my days the best way I could, and no more complications...


Here are my hospital confinement photos, just in case you wanted to see what I was up to while stuck to my IV line. And I will also try posting a couple of my videos while I was there. Enjoy!


HAMA = home against medical advice  

Views: 22

Comment by LaGuitariste on March 30, 2011 at 2:14am
You're too young to give up. Snap out of it.

(Said in my very best great-auntie voice, peeking over my bifocals at you with a crooked smile.)

Comment by Donna H on March 30, 2011 at 3:07am
Let's face it -- hospitals are just awful places to be. There is no doubt the confinement is dragging you down emotionally. This is short term and not forever. So you need to get through it as best you can. When your blood glucose is off like it is your mood is going to be affected too. You're going to feel so much better physically and mentally when that is in control. It's frankly a pain in the butt that one ailment can throw off the others so much. But you're on the road to recovery. I checked out the photos you posted. That big smile that gleams in some of those photos says to me that you're going to be just fine.
Comment by Jovanni de Jesus on March 31, 2011 at 12:55am
Right on, Donna. If only they have Wi-Fi connectivity, it would have been much much better. As the ablum said, "five days, four ailments, a cellphone camera, and a netbook with the Youcam app", makes this diabetic all too curious. Jean, I did snap out of it, eventually. It's the lack of internet connectivity that could have caused this.


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