I am an idiot. I fired my endo in December, and have not been on any medication for my diabetes since. I also stopped using the Omnipod around November last year. I have not been to any doctor since then, and consequently have not had any thyroid medication since then either. I have an appointment on Friday to see another Dr in OKC, She is just a GP, but has really helped my MIL with all her health problems. I am SO ready to get back on some meds and feel better. I have been feeling like crap.......the few times I have checked my sugars they have been running from 290 to nearly 500...I am SO mad at myself, because I know better.......I have seen people with complications, I know what could happen, or will happen if I don't take care of myself.

Why is it SO hard for me to set my mind to do what I know I need to do? Why do I get to the point of saying, "I really don't care."? Why are the sugar cravings SO bad?

I am going to do this. I am going to take care of myself. I am going to be here and be active with my son and grandchildren someday. I am re-affirming myself right now!!

Views: 9

Comment by Gerri on August 29, 2010 at 10:47pm
Good for you for re-affirming now. What's done is done. Moving forward is the best thing.

It is hard to be taking care of ourselves 24/7. But, we're worth it, right? The fear of complications scares me straight. It's easy to mad at diabetes & take out the anger on ourselves with destructive patterns. I don't know if it's the rebellious, defiant child inside us, or what.
Comment by Pauly on August 30, 2010 at 3:41am
Hey Nancy, what happened has happened to all of us in our lives, its not always just diabetes either, its other stuff where we loose interest and dont care. We fall off the horse and get back on. No need to look back. By posting this blog you know what to do and you will do it.
Comment by Brian (bsc) on August 30, 2010 at 5:00am
Well, you have taken the first step.

You really do care.

You know what you have to do.

You just have to do it.

If we can help you, just ask.
Comment by Nancy on August 30, 2010 at 6:05pm
Thank you all for your supportive comments. It is hard not to get burned out, and I think that is a lot of my problem plus being mad at diabetes too.....poke prod poke prod.....Sometimes you just want to scream GO AWAY and leave me alone!! Gerri, you are right........moving forward is best! Thanks!
Comment by Gerri on August 30, 2010 at 7:30pm
Keep us posted. People here are encouraging & supportive.

To different degrees, most diabetics are angry or are/have been angry at various times. I'm not of the it-could-be-worse school. Yea, things could always be worse, but that doesn't change anything other than adding a layer of guilt. Take the anger & make it work for you in positive steps.
Comment by nel on August 30, 2010 at 8:16pm
YES , YOU CAN !!...I use this line , when I do my walks for/with Team Diabetes Canada ...I talk to me and talk to me as I am going along , and continue to use the line : YES, I can , Yes, I can ...my simple advise .I believe in ME , so can YOU believe in YOU :)
Wish you well in your years ahead .

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