They tell us that when we have diabetes we should avoid stress.. My doctor keeps critisizing me because my blood sugars have been high in the past.. I keep telling her it's stress and she keeps saying then use the stress avoidance tactics. Ha! that's a real laugh.
Over the last couple of years I've had so much stress I'm surprised I'm functioning at all.
In less than a year I've lost three people who I loved very much.. One of them being my ex husband.. although not loving him as a partner.. I spent 25 years with him and loved him as the father of my children. He died last July on my son's birthday.. In Scotland! He was electricuted at work.
Living here in the USA, I had to fly back to Scotland to help plan his funeral.. the plane ride alone was stressful enough but I won't go into that. To see my children although grown up grieving and not knowing what to do was bad enough.. To have it happen so suddenly was devastating to them.
Last month my long time school friend and aunt died within 10 weeks of finding she had inoperable Cancer.. she died just 5 days after her 52nd birthday.. Today in the early hours of this morning.. my uncle her husband died after having a car accident.
I'm here in the USA and can't get over to be with my mom as my insulin therapy hasn't got me to a stable condition yet.. a 10 hour plane ride and two trains and a bus ride away from my mom is too far for me to do just now.. I'm scared of going too low and travelling alone is not an option for me.
I know my stress levels will go up again.. are up again.. I've been doing so good too over the past month.. Each time I get on the right track something comes along and knocks me right back down again.. it's left me wondering if there will ever be a window of calm.