i can not stand have this s*** i fell like im in the gutter all the time when my blood suger is high one time it puts in a evil mood for the rest of that day some times i think way us why me and why should i keep on TRYING to live this way sometimes i wish i would have never made it to the hospital that day and just died ever sense getting this i have lost friends because the way i act know i hate myself now i dont beleave in nothing i mean how can you did we get this as a gift i dont think so im just DONE and my life is rolling down hill

Views: 6

Comment by Carrie J on February 26, 2010 at 6:03pm
It sounds like you're hitting a bit of a rough patch. What's going on?
Comment by August on February 26, 2010 at 8:13pm
Don't beat yourself up, believe me I know this thing sucks. I hate it too! I have had the worse days and when I was diagnosed I was in DKA and had a huge toe infection, almost lost my foot man! Thank god I pulled through and now I'm in control of this damn thing, I;ll be damn it it tries to control me! Yea, my friends got weird...but my health is important..I took my anger and wrote songs and made some music...hang in there!
Keep me posted on how you doing man!
Comment by PatientX on February 26, 2010 at 9:39pm
I used to have some serious anger issues the few months before I was diagnosed. I look back to those days before my diagnosis and right after and how analyze how I behave both at work and at home. I know my glucose levels were seriously out of control because I wound up at ICU with over 1000 glucose level and I was always p***ed off.

I was laid off from work and I know it was because of my behaviour. I think my employeer really never had the heart to tell me why I was really let go. But looking back I was seriously out of control. So dont beat yourself up for something that you are working at controlling. You can learn to control the anger just like you can control the bg's. I learned how to spot a bad situation when things start to boil over for me. As I learned to live with the big D I learn to react to the other signals such as my temper. When i start getting angry I removed myself from the situation wether its at work or home. My meter is attached to me at the hip so when I dont feel like who I know I am I check the numbers. I refuse to get roped in by someone else into situations that will not be good if I start to go low or high. If I see myself going out of control I go for the meter and see where I stand. I have walked away from a lot of situations where in the past i would just stand my ground and let my temper get the best of me. As soon as i start feeling like I am about to get mad I go for my bike and leave for a bit if I am at home. If it happens at work I will leave walk out of the office and go for a long walk. I am fortunate that my family stayed intact after all the crazy mess I pulled during my early years with this mess.

I learned how to deal with lows and highs by having a plan stuck to my head when things go low or high. Also i talked to the people around me and told them that sometimes I just need to get away for a few minutes to put myself back together. I told my wife that when I tell her "I need to normalize" she knows to leave me alone for a few so I can put myself back together. It takes time to come to terms with dealing with anger caused by highs or lows but dont beat yourself up. those true friends around us will be back because of the qualities outside of the big D
Comment by damomma on February 27, 2010 at 7:53am
So Sorry you are having a rough time. We all know what u r going through. So just vent to me anytime...Hugs, Emily
Comment by Pamela1977 on May 10, 2010 at 2:20pm
I happened to find your post...I know it's a few months old now but are you doing any better??? I've had T1 since I was 3...29 years now. You should keep on trying...really, life can be good. I've brought 3 babies into this world...even with really long-standing D. For me, even with the highs and the lows of T1 D, I love my life and am so thankful for insulin! Please feel free to vent...so many of us on TuD understand, care, and will listen. Hopefully you're doing better now. :-)


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