its 01:14 where i am in the world now and i cant sleep. all thats going through my head is that my parents keep making all the decisions involving my diabetes and they way i see it its my life its my body! they have no right! it all started when they signed me up for this programme our local hospital is running for young aduls with diabetes. the programme involves teaching us to carb count and manage our doses. ive been in full control of my diabetes care since i was nine because i told my parents that i could do it and i could. ive been diabetic all my life ive never known a life without it! i was managing fine and my numbers were getting better but then they started controlling it all again telling me that his was how they wanted me to do it but i dont want to do it their way my way is working better than theirs ever did! the first big decision in my diabetes life that i made was to go off the pump. im a teenager an the last thing i want is a little machine hooked on me controlling my life but one of the main reasons i went off the pump was the logbook! i didnt want to write everything that passed my lips into a book for god sake! i didnt want to have to write all this in a book and then hand it to a stranger doctor to let them snoop through it and tell i wasnt good enough over and over and over again! i didnt want them to snoop through it and tell me well this isnt right and this isnt right and this is wrong! i was sick of all these strangers controlling my life! i wanted to have the freedom to have a sneak bar of chocolate every once in a while without haveing them check my pump and say what was this bolus fr and that bolus for! i just needed to say all this because it was really hurting me and wasnt sure what i was gonna do next bt for anyone who reached the very bottom of my ongest blog ever i solute you!!

Views: 115

Comment by Doris D on December 29, 2012 at 5:36pm

this from a d and the mom of a d. ur parents think their helping but they can flustrate u. mine did and i wsas a d at 109
i done the same to my daughter thinking it was my business to know what was up and i relized that she would have to control it herself w/o me constantly at herto do this or that. just hang in there know that all involved think their helping u

Comment by Pastelpainter on December 29, 2012 at 6:58pm

I understand how you feel, but have you thought that you may learn something on this course? Every course or workshop I have ever done has been worth it in that I learned maybe just one little new thing or a whole lot of stuff I did not know.

Comment by Betty J on December 29, 2012 at 7:01pm

I understand how you feel I too would feel the same. I don't know if you've let them know how you feel about them controlling your D but if you haven't do so. If they don't seem to listen then talk to your doctor and let him/her know how you feel about it...get anyone's ear who will listen someone will hear and understand.

Comment by CaryJ on December 30, 2012 at 3:52am

I'm a mom with a son who was recently diagnosed type 1. I have been very involved with helping him with his d management. I was very afraid for his long term health prognosis, wanting him to keep tight control of his bgs to avoid complications. He already has some eye problems. Perhaps your parents are afraid too. If you really have your diabetes under control, I'm sure your parents will learn to relax and to respect your ability to handle your own affairs.
I totally agree with you on the privacy issue. No one has the right to read your private logbook or even to download information from your glucometer without your permission. I get very annoyed when my son is at the doctor's office and someone comes in and literally snatches up my son's meter without asking permission to view the info. As for the hospital course your parents want you to take, it may well turn out to be trivial and condescending, especially to you who have lived with diabetes all your life. On the other hand, you might get to meet other young diabetics who could become your friends and allys.

Comment by Sara_Louise on December 30, 2012 at 5:14am

thanks everyone

Comment by acidrock23 on December 30, 2012 at 7:09am

I have had D since 1984 and also have a 14 year old, with whom I have occasional differences of opinion about various issues. Can you prove that your being in control is better for you than your parents? There's lots of threads that question the value of A1C tests but, as a measurement of long-term control to answer a question about whose control is better, I think that the test would provide a useful result. If your number is better than your parents, I would agree with your assertion that you should be in charge. Even if your number ISN'T better, I'd also say that you should be in charge but that they should perhaps have more input into decisions. Their input shouldn't be "don't eat that" it should be "let's figure out HOW to eat that?" and, if the first try doesn't work, try it again and figure out how to improve the result. As far as a logbook goes, I logged for a month to get a pump and that's all of the logging I've ever done. I like using the pump because the software keeps track of everything most of the stuff I need to do ok and its it into handy charts. It's less work for me than writing stuff down, although I have to admit I wouldn't do that anyway. That being said, if you have a person goal of "doing better" in any way, including proving that you are right and will do a better job controlling diabetes than your parents, the only way to do it will be to, in fact, do better.

I agree with CaryJ that perhaps your parents have an alterior motive in getting you to the class, not so much for D skills but to meet other people who aren't your parents who might help you. You are, of course, meeting us here @ Tu as well and this can be a good place to do research. Some of the people (e.g. Jen, who has been blogging very precise and detailed results about her adventures with swimming and D for a while now...), can get very useful information that may help them make decisions that will help their management improve. In some ways, another thing that helps me is not to focus on the numbers as numbers but to look at how much work is involved. I'm a busy guy, work, take junior to dancing lessons, cook most of our food (Mrs has hellacious commute, plus then I can be a food nazi..."look, grilled meat again!") and try to work out as much as I can. If my BG is out of whack and I have to wait around for correction boluses to get going or wait for snacks to work before I work out, I would be annoyed so I've sort of set it up so I do ok on my numbers. By doing "more work" to think about stuff, I am sort of arranged to do "less work" cleaning up messes. That being said, it is extremely difficult for people with diabetes to have a mess-free existence and even a "bad" number (low or high...) can still provide good data that you can use but you have to have a system of some sort, even a flaky, nebulous system like mine, to work to improve your results. I have to suspect that your parents are wanting you to kick some ass at diabetes as they will feel better about it at the same time you can feel better about it. While taking care of your diabetes is your job, it's up to you to prove that you can do it!
If they make you go to class, you should try a "test" and ask a question there and ask a question here and see how the questions are answered. I don't like a lot of the reports people give about how their doctors/CDE answer questions and, if you can prove to your parents that you can get a better answer here, perhaps they'll agree to let you bail out of the class, unless it costs money or something?
..

Comment by renka on December 30, 2012 at 12:27pm
Hi, I'm 44 and I even hate when my doctor or nurse downloads my pump or wants my food logs. It seems so silly but it it's private. It is kind of like confessing that your not perfect. Since you're on the pen now you can kind of ERASE all the EVIDENCE! I feel so vulnerable while my pump is downloading at the docs office, I hate it! When I was a young diabetic I had wished that my parents were involved, they just handed it over to me and I just didn't know what to do. There has to be a happy medium. D you have a therapist whom you can confide in. I had one who specialized in diabetes and she was great and helped me with how I felt and maybe it would help you too. My doctor also wrote a book that specifically deals with stuff like that called DIABETES BURNOUT. It helps deal with people who POLICE you.... The best of luck to you. Also one last thing, I would. Never turn down any education even though your parents signed you up. I always thought I had learned all I needed to know but then I learned that things change with diabetes all the time. When I was young we didn't count carbs really, we would eat 1 meat, 2 breads, 3 veggies, and 1 fruit.... It was different back then. So don't not learn to spite your parents! Good luck! I think we all kind of share those privacy feelings at one time or another!
Comment by Kat1997 on December 31, 2012 at 8:04am

I think it would be helpful if you talk with your parents about your feelings and concerns. I am from a family of diabetics, am diabetic and my daughter was diagnosed at 14. I went with to all her appointments and asked questions for her benefit so she would not claim I was controlling her. I just assured her that if she had questions I was always there for her and when I couldnt answer her question I would call her doctor to get the answer. In the beginning I let her know that I am very supportive to her being in charge of her care and that I was concerned about her health due to watching my uncle die of complications.
Communication with the care team is important, even if we dont want to hear it. Maybe instead of going to the classes alone your parents should go, they would maybe learn to back off and learn that they are not always correct with your care. I keep up on the latest technology to take care of my diabetes and the new information, along with all the help from the awesome people on this site. I usually at times teach my care team a few new things that are available. I am on my 3rd pump and each one I have had to teach them how it works, they are use to dealing with medtronic pumps and I like to see the confusions on their faces once in a while instead of it being me....lol...we all have to have a laugh on them occationally.
Best of luck to you and God Bless.

Comment by neenee vitollo on January 3, 2013 at 1:05pm
I am 21 years old and was diagnosed when i was 7 months old i dont know a life without it either i havent had a pump yet but i know how it is having people asking questions having to test and eat when u dont want to but right now i have a problem with diabulimia fyi not taking insulin to lose weight i have been doing it sense i was 15 and i am tired of it im trying to do better now but the point of me saying this is that they just dont want you sick and trust me its not fn you always are tired weak and in a bad mood the pump does not seem like a bad thing i mean your stuck with diabetes just take care of yourself one day your gonna have a husband and kids and you want to be strong and healthy for them
Comment by Sara_Louise on January 7, 2013 at 9:48am

neenee your story and mines are so alike! i suffered with diabulimia for 3 years and no one noticed well really i never told anyone. but the difference is that your 21 and can jut not turn up to doctors appointments if youve had a bad spell but my mum makes me go regardless of how bad the readings are because when your older its easier to get away with not taking your insulin and not eating but with people constantly checking up on me i cant i feel like my whole life is an open book where someone can just look at me and see my history and failures and eery doctor/stranger that walks through the doors can just look at a book full of numbers and tell me what i do wrong! and i was just fed up with me pump for the kast while but i will go back on it soon enough

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