Well, I'm almost over it. Lying to myself, I mean.You know ..... Taking an extra slice of bread or a cookie and saying that it won't do any harm..... And then when it does, we're confused that our bg has gone up. lol I've been doing that for the last 2 months since I was diagnosed. I mean, if it was really an issue, I'd be on a lot of insulin, right? lol

Ok, done with denial ... for now anyway. Bargining, I skipped right over (or is that the reason I'm trying to lose weight? Either way, it's a good move)

Now I'm just depressed. OK, part of it is that I always cry at commercials this time of year... but part of it is because of the unfairness of diabetes. I mean, I'm the one who could eat 6 large burritos at one sitting, or visit McDs and not gain an ounce. OK, that was 30 years ago, but, still......

And, It just isn't fair I cook those yummy Hungry Man dinners for my husband and watch him eat german chocolate cake with cool whip, while I wait for him to fall asleep after dinner, so I can sneak a bite ... or two and then wonder what's happened that my bg is up...

Views: 6

Tags: cheating, diagnosed, grief, newly, of, stages

Comment by snowangel66 on December 23, 2009 at 12:22pm
In all my years of diabetes, the way I have dealt with it is thinking of food as "eating to live" oppose to "living to eat"
It took a while to get use to the idea that i couldnt eat the things i could once eat. So i focus on other things in life, things im passionate about like painting, music and exercise. When you are busy with other things one tends to think about the unfairness of food less. But the truth is, after eating a healthy diet for so many years, the idea of junk food turns me off, what it does to our bodies, containing chemicals that destruct our bodies opposed to putting nutrients in it. It is not the end of yummy food, there are so many yummy low carb options out there you wouldnt believe, and once you stick to those, you'll automatically not want to sneak a bite of any of the forbidden food anymore.
Comment by Pauly on December 23, 2009 at 1:09pm
Hi Denice, Hang in there. We are all in this together.... and feel the same things. Look to at the positives of this. As you continue to blog and share you may just help someone else in the process with what their dealing with. Its kinda like the scene in "Its a wonderful life" where Clarence the angel tells George Baiiey if he wasn't there to save Harry (his brother) Harry wouldn't have been able to save the troop ship.....George never left Bedford Falls and we will never leave the disease... Like George Bailey we stay in our Bedford Falls and live it day by day...
Comment by Marie B on December 23, 2009 at 1:50pm
Denice, it really is unfair, and so overwhelming at times. I always have a lot of difficulty at this time of the year, too. I understand the emotional roller-coaster (and the bg roller-coaster)

We had a contest, and a Group, called "simple steps" for health. The winning tips were all really good, but my favorite was this one:
http://www.tudiabetes.org/group/simplestepsforhealth/forum/topics/s...

Called Start Small - written by Suzanne here. I thought the ideas here were so do-able. You can make changes if you go in baby steps. If you fall down, we're here to help you up again. We're all in this together, and together we are so much stronger than trying to go alone.
Comment by Gerri on December 23, 2009 at 9:20pm
Good for you for putting denial behind you.

Hard not to be depressed. I've accepted there will be days when I'm really down & rally against the unfairness. I allow myself a quiet pity party once in a while, but don't wallow because I dont want to get stuck there.

Would be easier if you didn't have things in the house that tempt you. Other than bread, which my husband can't live without, there's nothing else staring me in the face. When I went low carb, my husband went along. He lost over 30 lbs & feels great. I do the cooking & most of the shopping, so our meals are healthy for us both. It's true that when you give up eating junk you stop craving it.

Like Jill, I've found delicious low carb recipes. I do a lot of entertaining & no one knows they're eating low carb meals:)
Comment by PatientX on December 24, 2009 at 9:09am
One thing that I have learned over the years is that we live a life of moderation. From what we eat to what we do. I do tend to eat a very lean diet and try to be healthy as possible. I have over the years lost the craving for sweets so my sweets are very minimal now these days. During halloween I may have one piece of candy from a bag full of candy.

Dont get me wrong though I do go aheand and have a couple of bites of sweets every once in a while. I dont sneak them because I dont want to feel like I am doing something bad. I dont call it cheating either when I eat something that is not too healthy, that has a negative connotation. I realize that I have

The one thing that I know is that if I am going to eat sweets I am going to pay for it one way or another. For instance I was "bad' today and had two doughnuts so now I have to run on the treadmill for an hour. The one thing though is that I like to excercise so its not so bad. It will take time for you to figure out what will impact your bg's. I have done a lot of testing to figure out what I can do to bring bg's down and what I can eat.

Give yourself some time for the transition. It may take a while or may take a long time just dont beat yourself up. Everyone's transition if different. It took me a little bit of time to go from eating junk to eating healthier. Now I dont even know how I ate what I did in the past.

take care
Comment by Kathyann on December 24, 2009 at 8:04pm
I'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself on Christmas Eve. So I've eaten some chocolate candy (sees) ate a chocolate chip cookie and even had 2 slices of veggie pizza for dinner. I don't understand myself sometimes, cuz I won't feel good later. I've got the du du du du diabetic blues du du du du
Comment by Gerri on December 25, 2009 at 8:58pm
Hope tomorrow is a better day. Please don't punish yourself with food.

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